Hi there,
I'm new-ish to this forum and thought, well...I need support. I'm a grad student in her mid 20's far from home, in a long distance relationship (almost 6 years!), planning to move in october, in the middle of final exams....and then my boyfriend dumps me...over the phone....days before I begin a week of final exams. Are you kidding me?!?!
I mean we were trying to work through stuff, but he had begun to lie...but that's another story.
Though things are resolving (I finally found a new apartment, I passed all the exams so far), but my oh my, I suddenly have this "do or die" appetite. I won't eat anything until I'm hungry - I feel nauseous, and then when I realize I'm hungry I eat everything in sight! I'm no longer sobbing (but I'm still sniffling every now and then) and I *think* I've moved on to the acceptance stage...I dunno.
Someone please tell me this is normal, that it will pass, because this sucks. share your experiences...because though I'm losing weight, I didn't want it to be like this!
Yeah, it's totally normal, at least it was for me. I found out last week that someone I had feelings for moved far away. I was heartbroken, couldn't stop crying for 3 days, and completely lost my appetite. The only food I got in on those days was little amounts I had to force myself to eat. Even though my body was feeling hungry, my head had absolutely NO inclination to eat. It will pass, definitely. It's been a week for me and I am back on-plan (and even a little more aggressive about it now).
I just made a point of telling myself that I wasn't going to be using the heartache as an excuse for bingeing, like I usually do, or did. I even tried to binge one day and I couldn't do it. I definitely was more tender to myself about exercise (no gym, just some light head-clearing walking) but I refused to let myself overeat, because that would just make me feel worse in the end.
It's going to be ok, darling, you take a little time (as much as you can possibly afford to, with those exams and all!) to be gentle with yourself. Give yourself a break, because you're tender. But recognize also the things that make you feel good, and don't discount them now. It's the easiest to fall back into old, bad (but comfortable) habits when we are sad, but it feels so much better not to let them come back. Good luck, love and peace to you!! You will make it through, and you will be all the stronger for it !
I am so sorry, I feel really bad for you going through all that away from home, during exams and all.
It's normal (the pain), but not really OK (the eating). That's exactly how I got into my situation... Life trauma, then stuffing myself silly.
Mine didnt pass quickly, that's the problem. Eating only quiets the pain temporarily, and since that was the only way I was treating my pain, I put on 30lb. It was horrible.
I wish I had an answer... then I'd be skinny
Vent here, call friends, get OUT, drink water, keep the JUNK out of reach; try every trick in the book!!
Then let me know what works
YOU will not be in pain forever, and it sounds like once you get through this abit, you'll realize that the guy was a bit of a bum (just from what you've written). "Trying to work through things" at your age is kinda a bad sign. If it's bad now, how's it going to be later... life gets more complicated, not less.
You're in your mid 20's, been with this guy 6 years... bet you pick a totally different guy next time. You're older and wiser.
I too can relate since November when my fiance came home and told me he had decided "he wanted to go in a different direction with his life" I have eaten all of my feelings and in turn have gained about 30 pounds I have joined weight watchers 5 times since then only to go home and cry nightly over some ice cream. My wedding day was to be 2/5/10 that was a horrible day for me. But I can tell you that time heals all. I am a witness it is coming on a year and maybe it has taken me longer than it "should" have, I have arrived, and I can finally say I am okay. I pray that soon your heart will heal and you will be ready for your soul mate. Peace
back in march a classmate of mine died in a motorcycle accident. it was a very emotional time but i found that eating well made me feel better because it gave me a sense of control. i guess you could look at it that way, taking care and taking control. i hope you feel better
I am the opposite - I would eat so little if at all (I got this way by being lazy)! We all have our coping mechanisms, Tea. What you are going through is completely normal. Of course when your mind is emotional, your body will be affected. Over time, just take it day by day, and each day you will feel stronger and more in control. This too shall pass love !!!
A little time has passed and I haven't forgotten all of your kind words! I'm mending well and am ready to get back to the gym/exercising again...and eating much healthier these days.
-hugs- Thanks, to all!
Glad to hear you're doing better, tea leaf. The heart doesn't break, it just bruises!
I'm in the "too sad to eat" camp as far as rejections/breakups go. I went from 170 to 135 or so in just a few months in HS because I was so distraught over rejection from a guy. After I lost weight he asked me out, I accepted, and then after he left me to go away to college he turned out to be gay.
me, it really depends... during the worst breakup of my life, i ended up not eating for a month (my mom would force ensure and boosts down my throat once a day to make sure i'd had something) and dropped like 15lbs! took me a year to get over the guy too. but these days, whenever there's something wrong in my relationships or if i feel abandonned or sad, i run for the comfort food. it's a terrible habit really, but i'm just so unmotivated to do anything... except stress, and eat...
Dumped...(not) eating my way through a break-up
Are you kidding me?!?! 
