My head defies me...

singforthedayx · 09-19-2010, 11:25 PM

I'm allowed to cheat. I let myself cheat because if I don't cheat every now and again, I know I'll lose it. So why do I always feel so AWFUL every time I do it?

I should not feel guilty... it's all a part of my plan, and yet I DO. I feel guilty, I feel fat... like those few extra calories is going to make me instantly gain back 20+ lbs. And then I feel like I need to go on an "exercise binge" to make up for it (I've never really given into this particular urge, but I do get it, and it really scares me because I'm afraid that I'm becoming obsessive) ...

I tell myself it's ok... I can't eat perfectly 24/7 & 365 ... but something in me just doesn't want to accept that. And it's annoying.

Sorry...just needed to vent. Because I just cheated a bit and it's getting me down... even though it shouldn't.

Thanks for listening! xoxo

ValRock · 09-19-2010, 11:52 PM

Is the guilt worth it? What do you mean you'll 'lose it?'

For a long time I did things the same way you do and finally I said ENOUGH and now I eat on plan all of the time. If I'm craving key lime pie or whatever I find something within my plan that makes a good substitution and I move on with my day. It was rough at first but now I know I just can't have XYZ and I got over it. Dropping the guilt and the way I felt after 'cheating' was worth it.

Best of luck to you!

Jessica88 · 09-19-2010, 11:56 PM

I feel the exact same way you do when I do not eat on plan. I always try to work out twice as much because I feel so guilty and then get back on track and eat perfectly. Don't get too down on yourself, its okay to do that and you cant eat perfectly all the time! Tomorrow is a new day

singforthedayx · 09-20-2010, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Is the guilt worth it? What do you mean you'll 'lose it?'

I mean, if I don't allow myself cheats, I'll fall off and go back to the way I was. Trust me, I've tried going "cold turkey" in the past. It is not pretty, and it makes it 10x worse for me. I've come this far by allowing myself cheats. Without them, I may have given up a long time ago...

rschroed · 09-20-2010, 12:33 AM

Yeah, that's rough. I hear you on the psychological need to feel like you're indulging yourself once in a while. If you're not getting what you need to out of the "cheat" foods, maybe think about brainstorming new indulgences that won't send you into a guilt spiral but will fulfill the cravings? As the scale goes down, it seems like everybody has to change what a "cheat" is, for them--just because time has passed, and maybe also because your body and brain chemistry have changed, the old stuff doesn't appeal.

I find that foods that I know aren't good for me, but have an element of *something* that's not totally bad, let me walk the line between fulfilling my indulgence and preventing the shame spiral that used to follow indulging. For instance: a whole wheat flour cupcake; a half or whole square of dark baking chocolate; a spoonful of Nutella in my Greek yogurt. Not all in one day, and most days, none of 'em, but when I need an indulgence, I can usually find a not-totally-without-nutritional-merit something to eat that doesn't break the scale or make me feel like everything's lost.

I really believe you'll do fine if you keep cheating smart--and keep looking at it as a big picture, where the big picture is mostly not cheating.

flashfacts · 09-20-2010, 01:43 AM

I think know what you mean. For me, the problem is letting myself get even the slightest overfull. Even though I might just have eaten a few too many veggies, I still feel like I failed as long as the little stomach ache sticks around, even though its nothing compared to what I used to do.

Quote:

I really believe you'll do fine if you keep cheating smart--and keep looking at it as a big picture, where the big picture is mostly not cheating.

Yeah, I really agree with this. I still feel pretty new at all this, but as I've been working on my new eating habits, I realized that going off plan was a reality, either from poor planning or from a TOM craving. So what has worked for me so far is to come up with various plans on what to do and how to shift my calories for the day around, so I still get my overall calories right, even if I end up with more carbs then I normally eat.

And since I'm staying in the right calorie range, I feel like I'm ~indulging~ but not cheating, since I'm mentally prepared and am just executing plan B or C, rather then my normal plan A. This also keeps the indulgences small, since I might be swapping it out for a 200 calorie snack. Even if I do go over, I just try to look over that day, see what happened, and come up what a better plan for the next time. I guess thinking about it in terms of plans or a numbers problem keeps me at more of an emotional distance from my food, which was something I needed.

FreeSpirit · 09-20-2010, 05:51 PM

What do you consider cheating? Maybe you can change your cheat "rules" to something that you'd feel better about.

For me, when I eat something that isn't planned or too much of something that is planned, I feel guilty. I don't like the out of control feeling that comes with cheating. I hate feeling like food has some sort of control over ME. Nothing controls me, dangit! Maybe you'll have better luck if you figure out what it is about the cheat that makes you feel guilty.

Good luck!