Shopoholic- Ahhh!! Another who is in love w/the fact you have a sugar glider. One of my best friends used to have one, and i adored it. I love animals of pretty much all kinds, heck i prefer them to people to be totally honest more times then i can count lol. The sugar glider freaked her sister out a bit too, i guess they somehow can have that effect on some. They're so darn cute.
I used to be such a product junkie, it was baaad. Since i gained weight, i let myself go- but i'm starting to take much better care of myself again and i miss having the loads of things i used to. I know i still have plenty of makeup (some of it is really quite old but oh well, i can't afford new things atm) but i used to work at nordstroms and used my discount to no end. I also went into a lot of debt that way, that i just got out of last year. Eek. Sephora is heaven. Back when i was living where i used to i had a friend who was worked there and did freelance makeup work to, and she used to do mine and use it for her portfolio and when they had company events i got the hook up. Those were the days.
Jealous of your trip, i love billy idol!!! Really glad you had a good time even though you had to deal w/such crap- god some people.
Number- Your suggestion about the snacks was good, i have done that in the past. I know quite a few things that would have been very low cal and perfect, i have to work to not be so anal about it b/c i'm bordering on neurotic lately.
I did manage to say no, and i have said no to it every day since as there are left overs. It's rough, but its worth it. Some days are harder then others b/c my mom is an amazing cook and she has pretty big dinners for her and my father every night. Can't say i share any of your bra woes, big boobs was never an issue here- i've toyed w/plastic surgery (though you know i lack the funds to seriously consider this!) b/c i always thought having bigger boobs would balance my shape out so very much so. I got sick and lost a lot of weight when i was 16 (!) and never got them back- i went from a d to a b. At my highest weight i probably wasn't above a b!! But theres +'s and -'s to every side i suppose.
Amanda- Yeah, its rougher lately. My mom has a lot of issues tied into food herself. It can make it really hard b/c it just frustrates me b/c she knows how unhappy i am about my weight and that eating that food isn't going to help and it tries my patience to not get mad when she goes "just have a bite!". I can not DO that.
As i mentioned above i heart sephora, jealous! I like philosophy products a lot myself.
Glad the walk sparked some happy thought time. Your dogs sounds too cute-i love both those breeds. As i also said, i'm a big animal lover. I can't remember b/c i feel like i mentioned it, but my best friend now owns a pet sitting service and i worked with it for awhile, before she took it over and after for a bit as she made it her own. I loved that job + good exercise!
casey- You turned me into a fan of Randall Shreve!
What i miss the most about the town i lived in was how often i'd go to shows. The music scene was pretty fierce, and for a bit i worked at one of the local venues so i was always getting the perks of that. I had great times, but then again i turned into a bit of a mess at the end-b/c well i lived that lifestyle a little too hard, go figure. It will be nice to go visit and have it more together and focus more on the music then the b/s i had going on else wise. Wow, i get so off topic. It's pretty awesome how good of a time good shows are, i love how much music that you really like can elevate your spirit-even though plenty of those times have been some really sad moments too.
JLNichols07- Good job on the 5 days!
Rissa- Very good points, and i have been thinking about that more so actually. I know i am really hurting myself in the long run to be so "stuck" (and i mean exactly look at what my avatar says, hypocrite much!) in lamenting over the past. I am not really sure what to do to not feel that way-but i also will be restarting therapy again tomorrow, never a better time. Not sure how often i'll be able to do so, or how this clinic works so we shall see. I have to do the hard work myself, i just get a bit lost at where to start. True happiness isn't in a size, and if i don't make the changes i need to i'll just be unhappy and thinner (i have to keep reminding myself of how unhappy i was back then still). It's pathetic that the first thought that pops into my head is "well thats better then this". Sigh. I really admire your outlook and hard work to being more positive w/yourself b/c thats the hardest work.
I have talked to my mom, at great length. She knows and understands but just it doesn't stop her. It just makes it more obvious how thats how she deals w/food you know (she has had a weight problem all her life. she did lose 40 pounds though over the last 2 years but shes heavy and i want her to be healthier. i do my best to help her out w/that too).
I think you will like spaghetti squash, i LOVE it, and you are a big veggie fan. My father who is not, and doesn't like many at all, even said it was pretty good-so that speaks volumes. By itself its pretty bland to a lot of people though, but i can and will eat it that way sometimes-its so low in calories!! Whats great about it to me is you can prepare it quite a few ways. I made some more the other day, and i focused more on sweet. I chopped in some apples towards the end and baked those a bit and topped it all off w/some parm cheese. I made some for my mom, and she LOVED it this way. I mixed in some 2% mozz cheese, some tomatoes, some basil, and topped it w/a bit of marinara sauce. So many possibilities, sorry i could go on about it quite a bit lol.
You also might like what i am about to make for my dinner tonight that i post below.
lissa- Wow, what a rough week, thats a lot to go through. As hard as it is through that its all the more reason to try your best to take care of yourself.
rainbow- Urrgh. Finding out something like that is quite a punch to the gut, regardless of the person. It speaks volumes about your maturity (and oh the million reasons thats she dead wrong) to handle it well, and to be able to focus on it the way you did. She sounds quite (well actually very, esp by being so distant b/c that is petty) immature, and i would just take it as someone that doesn't deserve you going to any effort for, though i know you'll be kind to her-as would i.
I've seen first hand, both ways (as i've gone in both directions weight wise sadly) how sadly the way you look like or not everyone-it factors in on how people treat you. That can be a mental mind screw for you-but at the same time your confidence factors in to! I know my self confidence was (and really its not a whole lot better now at all) at an all time low when i gained the weight this year and every time people seem to treat me better lately i try to remind myself its not all look based. But that's also a huge issue for me i have to work on.
I think part of the reason you may have reacted so strongly is that as you said you've dealt w/ (as i mean haven't we all at some point) being a situation where you were made to feel fun of and seeing it happen w/your bf made has it remind you of how you felt. It's always good to look at how your bf didn't let him bother him as much, b/c i know i have a hard time not getting overly upset at quite a lot so i always try to take tips from those who don't. It's a personal thing to though-you had quite a lot of emotion stirred up in that night.
I get a gold star too (and really so should everyone after every one of my posts!!!). Also congrats, b/c for me i have the hardest time in allowing myself to stick to a portion size of any off plan food. It sucks b/c since my binge a couple weeks ago i haven't messed up-but i haven't had a single thing off plan and some days i wish i could be sane and have like one cookie, 1/2 a serving of chips, something different. I'm not there though.
I've been exhausted too, but as i go on below i'm sleep deprived. What helps me (esp did today!) is how much better i feel about myself after i work out. I just keep reminding of that to get myself started.
Mee.....
Well, thursday night was a fail. I managed to get, and i am not even slightly exergerating, less then 1.5 hours of sleep. Hence my lack of posting, i've been in zombie mode.
At nearly 7 am friday i finally started to nod off, and i had class at 9. And then i had WORK. It was terrible. I didn't work out, but i also wasn't planning on it b/c i worked till 8 and i had a rest day planned. I felt so sick all day it made it that much harder to stick to my diet, b/c when i feel sick i crave salty comfort food badly. I managed to do well, i actually had trouble eating enough b/c once i got through the worst of it i didn't really want to eat at all. Saturday wasn't a whole lot better, i had to open, so i'm there at 7 and i was still exhausted and all out of whack. I managed to make it to the gym, and was pretty miserable through that too. I hate days like that a lot. I still am not feeling that great today to be honest, my sleeping issues are really not appreciated. I worked out HARD today, and am praying for a decent nights rest. I actually somehow still had trouble even falling asleep on friday-what the ?! Its other things on my mind manifesting themselves, i know how this goes.
I hit my first not directly overweight related weight goal. It's a bit silly how i came up with this one (one an ideal body weight calculator its the upper most range for the medium body frame calculation lol) but i mean its a goal and i made it. I'm actually pretty surprised i hit it yesterday, b/c i am expecting my rate of loss to slow any moment now. Sorry, not trying to like seem braggy about it at all! I mean it would be amazing for it to keep up, but i know thats not possible. It's tempting to cut my calories back further, but i know all the reasons to not do it (doesn't mean i don't struggle w/that b/c in the back of my head i'm all, you know it used to work-but i mean look where that got me in the end, years of deprivation wound up w/me ending up heavier then i'd ever been, or ever imagined in my worst nightmares). I want a healthy relationship with food to come out of this!
Ok off to make some bok choy! I am shocked they had this, major score. There is little selection at the local grocery stores, i miss being so close to better options. It took me a couple tries (and really i still have work to do) on how to prepare this bad boy, but hopefully it will be even better then the time before.
GARLICKY BOY CHOY or CHINESE CABBAGE
Hands-on time: 20 minutes (could be done ahead of time, perhaps even by a day or so)
Time to table: 30 minutes
Serves 6
1 pound head of bok choy or multiple heads of baby bok choy
5 or 6 radishes, trimmed and sliced in half moons (my addition, for color and texture contrast)
1 tablespoon peanut oil (the inspiring recipe called for roasted peanut oil)
6 cloves garlic, chopped
1/2 cup vegetable broth or chicken stock
Salt & pepper to taste
Wash the bok choy well. Remove the white stalks with a V cut, then chop. (For the Chinese cabbage, this takes a bit of time but you can start the skillet mid-way through.) Heat the oil in a large skillet til shimmery on MEDIUM. Add the chopped stalks and radishes, cook til just beginning to soften. Add the garlic and let cook for 2-3 minutes.
While stalks cook, roll four or five leaves into a 'cigar'. (No need to roll for baby bok choy, just chop the greens.) Holding the cigar together with your fingers, cut the cigar in half length-wise, then cut every inch or so cross-wise. (Or if you're a knife whiz, just roughly chop.) Add the leaves and broth, stir to wet greens, then cover and let cook, stirring once or twice, for about 10 minutes or til leaves are as soft as you like. Season to taste and serve.
NUTRITION ESTIMATE
Per Serving: 55 Cal (37% from Fat, 9% from Protein, 54% from Carb); 1 g Protein; 2 g Tot Fat; 0 g Sat Fat; 1 g Mono Fat; 8 g Carb; 1 g Fiber; NetCarb7; 1 g Sugar; 39 mg Calcium; 1 mg Iron; 247 mg Sodium; 0 mg Cholesterol; Weight Watchers 1 point
(im also a healthy blog fanatic, this is a good one.
http://kitchen-parade-veggieventure.blogspot.com/)
Francie
m-6pm yesterday (got out of some work) and I talked great candidates. Every fall, the accounting firms go through their annual recruiting and it’s a big production. I did have some spring rolls and tasted the chocolate fondue in moderation. It is a great feeling being able to eat those types of food and just have one or two and not want to eat until I am stuffed. And I have to say, marshmallows and chocolate fondue – lovely!!!!! But, ladies, I don’t try it at home. 
