So i haven't been really good in the last couple of days. **Read my latest blog entry for details on that** BUT I went shopping with a friend today who is uber skinny. You know that uncomfortable out of your element feeling you get when you go with skinny friends clothing shopping. Yea thats how I felt all day.
Anyway, my day turned around when I found two bras that fit! They fit...well kinda tight but none the less I was able to find a bra!!! Now I can throw out my disgusting and tattered old bras.
Yeah, I would really like to keep moving down. I have been back and forth. Between school and work, everything is crazy. Work is really killing me. I have been feeling like I need a good cry for a couple days now.
OMG I know that feeling. Sometimes you just want a good cry. I tend to have them in during a sad movie or emotional movie. Of course...when no one is around, haha!!!
So glad you're doing well ladies! I actually managed to maintain being on plan for all but 1 day of the last week. That's a total improvement for me!
The last few days have been really rough, emotionally, for me. I found out yesterday (on top of TOM) that a guy I've had feelings for for about 2 years now has since moved out of the state and quite far away. It's been a really rough time for me, very sad and really questioning some things about myself right now. On the plus side (kind of) I have been too upset to really eat much! I landed at about 1300 cals yesterday and today, and that was after quite a bit of coaxing to eat. I'm just sad, is all. But I am so thankful that I have a handle on it to the point now that something really devastating like this won't even derail me from my goal.
Anyway, that's life I guess, right? The most bittersweet of all the teas ;-)
butterfly- I'm sorry to hear that. I understand how you feel in a way. My best guy friend in highschool, David, has liked me for years and I never really caught on. We were from two totally different worlds, our friends didn't really get along but him and I fit like 2 peas in a pod. He made me laugh my *** off and I made him feel comfortable. He was never able to commit to any girl, and I hooked him up with several of my best girlfriends. Well wouldn't you know it that when I finally got around to understanding my feelings for him he had already signed up for the Navy and had found the new "love of his life." He is still with this girl and he's committed and everything. She moved with him to base (out of state) and I never got to share my true feelings with him. I still regret it to this day and he is one of the FIRST people I want to officially see after I lose all of my weight. My roomie and I have been talking about lost loves and friendships all weekend and this week. We just can't get over the stupid things we did when we were younger. I know it sounds mean and I am completely against this in any other situation but when I hit goal, I want to parade myself in front of David and make him fall in love with me all over again so he will leave his current girlfriend!! AHHH! I can't believe I just said that but I really think he was the one that got away. I haven't seen him in 3 years. Or if not steal him away, just tell him how I felt so I can have peace of mind instead of wondering what he thought about him this whole time. I broke down out of weakness and send him a message on Myspace...which I'm sure he never checks, lol.
I finally hit 260 this morning and it felt amazing. I actually had to weigh myself about 4 or 5 times to make sure it was right! I could have sworn it was my groggy eyes playing tricks on me. I kept on plan today although made the mistake of having popcorn for a snack. Oh man did I pay for that later ! Aweful.
It still is a little slow in here so I hope everyone has a chance to check back in soon. I'm a needy b!tch and without my 80's ladies I go crazy!!
So I wrote out a pretty lengthy post the other day, only to have my browser crash as I was finishing it. (Ugh!)
First of all, CONGRATS to SHELLY AND SARAH!!! OMG, wow...WOW WOW WOW! I am sooo happy for you. You ladies are doing FANTASTIC! Seriously, I am ridiculously excited (and envious)!
Swtbttrfly- you seem really sweet and I'm so glad you're a part of our little group! Great job for being able to stay on plan for a week--that IS a huge accomplishment! Sorry about the yucky feelings. I had those big time my first week of school, because it was my first week at school being single in almost two years...just really, really weird. Also saw my ex on campus (he's already graduated) which was NOT fun. I'm glad you're trying to focus on the positive, though. Hang in there!
Breanna- Yeah, my ex is definitely one of my evil motivations. lol! I'm doing it for me, but I hope someday I'll see him again a LOT thinner than when I last did. I haven't seen him since before we broke up, so it'll be interesting regardless next time I do see him. Good luck! <3
Shelly, I think we should totally do a Halloween Challenge. I ordered a scale on Sunday and I should be getting it today, but I don't think I'll weigh myself until Thursday morning (for better accuracy). I'm a little nervous since it's been about two and a half weeks, but it'll be a relief to finally know where I am. I'm going to assume I'm somewhere around 290 (hopefully below), because last time I weighed myself I was 291. We've got about 6 weeks til Halloween, and I would like to lose 10 pounds by then.
Also, can't remember if I've already mentioned this, but my goal for the end of the year is to be 267 or under, which I think is realistic considering it's only about 25 pounds away. I really just want to be out of the 280s and 90s. I'll actually feel better when I'm in the 270s, cause my face looks a lot slimmer and I can just barely start fitting into a size 20 (I've been a 22/24 for waaay too long now!). Granted, it does feel GREAT to be able to fit into all of my 22s comfortably again. It was pretty depressing when I couldn't even get them on four months ago!
I also am ashamed to admit that I've binged twice since I've been here at school. I don't know if it was stress, laziness, and/or depression, but I feel bad about it and am determined to not do it anymore. I think I need to research more recipes/food ideas. I remember when I was on South Beach in 8th grade, I had tomato soup, cheese, and pickles for lunch almost every day. lol. But I managed to lose 30 pounds on it, so I might as well try something similar!
And those vows I made in my most recent emo post I'll try to uphold. I think that's what will work best in the long run. I know you hopped off the egg train, Shelly, but I'm about to hop on it! Wooo....
Hope everyone's having a good week. Keeping my fingers crossed for Thursday!!!
OK...so the scale was delivered earlier than expected, and I weighed myself before I ate anything.
294.8. Wow. I really didn't see it coming! Even with my two binge episodes. I mean I expected to be a pound or two up MAYBE but not that much. I'm not moving that ticker, within the next two weeks I WILL BE BACK THERE!! Sooooo done with these 290s. 280s, here I come!
Thanks guys, I really appreciate being welcomed into the group. You ladies are so much fun to talk to, and I can't even tell you how much I appreciate the support. You have made the journey far more bearable.
Thanks for the condolances about the boy. I just feel terrible about it, especially considering I once had a shot at getting with him. I always believed I'd get that second chance with him, and it's a lot less likely now. I'm not ready to let go yet, even though maybe I just should. Maybe I should just move on, but I don't want to. And the truth is, I would leave this place for him too. I almost feel like there is nothing left for me here since he's gone, and I realize that his memory was one of the last things I was clinging to here. I am glad at the very least that I am FB friends with him now, because at least I am a tiny bit involved with his life (that's how I found out, I friended him) and before I had zero communication. So at least there is that, though it still kills me he is gone. My brother lived about 2 or 3 hours from where he lives now, so maybe in the future I can just see him again once or twice? I don't know :-(
Anyway, the sadness diet worked, because I'm down about 6lbs to 270.2 today! And I've got my appetite back partially, but not fully. I know with absolute certainty that I will not be overeating any time soon, I can barely stand to get a small amount down. Broken hearts just suck, don't they?
Congrats on 260, Shelly, I'm looking forward to getting there! Nice job, now keep it up! You know you can do this :-) And 260 has got to feel good!
Sarah- I totally feel you. The last few days consisted of me in bed, and on/off episodes of intense crying. Sucked, but I do feel (a little bit) better, and so will you. Keep movin' and shakin' and you'll feel better and stronger. Hahaha, so hopefully I will too.
Taliee- I totally feel you too!! I once saw the scale jump up about 15 lbs after 3 days of non-counting. Granted, most was water weight, but it was a wake-up call, majorly. You can get back down, easy :-)
Ahhh ladies, what an emotional ride these last few days have been! So intense and crazy. Hopefully the seas will calm down for a bit and we can all find some peace. :-) Have a lovely day or evening, wherever you are.
Swtbttrfly- You SHOULD move on! Seriously, as much as it hurts at first, I'm learning that it's the best thing you can do for yourself. Sometimes you just have to let go. And it has been very hard for me, but the more I involve myself in things that benefit me and surround myself with people who make me happy and REALLY love me, the easier it gets.
I was madly in love with a guy from work for about two years, and while it was unrequited he still told me he thought I was perfect, beautiful, his favorite person to talk to, etc...but wouldn't commit to anything because HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND! I know that isn't your situation, but eventually I realized it wasn't worth it--I was wasting my time and energy loving someone who didn't love me. Once I cut off all communication with him, moved to school (cause he was from home) and started doing other things, I fell out of love with him.
I can't really say what's best for you, because only you know that, but I hope whatever you do is right and makes you truly happy. You'll figure it out. And we'll be here for you!! <3
So, I have some fantastic news! Turns out yesterday was totally a fluke...the scale read 291.4 this morning. Whew! Thank GOODNESS! I feel a lot better about it. Last night I also decided I needed to plan my meals better, or at least have an idea of what I'm going to eat in advance. All I've got so far is what kind of meat (chicken, fish, etc) I'll have for dinner every day of the week. I'm going to try planning everything next week and see how that goes.
I AM BACK AND AM NOW 6 MONTHS PREGNANT!!! Sorry it has been forever since I have been on here!! OH! THE BABY IS GOING TO BE ANOTHER BOY! lol! I am just wondering who is still on the thread from "the good ole days" and I'm excited to meet all the newbies!! Even though I am 6 months pregnant, I am still holding strong at 280, which means I have gained no weight during this pregnancy. My Dr said that is great, but now the baby is going to start gaining his weight and getting ready to come into the world, so I will probably gain ten pounds, but when he is born I should actually weigh less then when I became pregnant with him. Oh, for everyone who is new, I gained 90lbs over two previous pregnancies (2007 and in 2008) and am currently pregnant with a 3rd. If anyone has questions, please ask!
I have decided I am going to start using trim260 after the baby is born in January. Anyone ever heard of it or tried it?
Let me know how everyone is doing!! Now that I have my internet back, I will be back on everyday, like normal. Can't wait to hear from everybody!!
Glenlorie--WELCOME BACK!! Everyone has disappeared... I'm sure the ladies post eventually, haha. And congrats on your baby boy!!!! That's wonderful. I'm glad everything is working out, too!
Um so I also have some good news...I was 288 this morning!! YAY!!! OK I need to really get my butt in gear next week, because I've missed a few classes from having a BAD sleep schedule. lol.
Yay!!! So despite a crappy (emotional) week, I've been good and on-plan. I am, in retrospect, looking at last week as a good kick in the butt for me. I am still wondering if I had not gone through last week if I would still be struggling in the 280s or the 270s even.
And I say that because this morning I weighed 269!! Wooo hoooo, haven't seen anything below a 273 in a couple years! I whooshed through the 270s pretty damn quick, and while I know it won't always be like that, it is really helping me to believe in myself and in the effectiveness of my plan. It gives me even more incentive to stay committed when I see the numbers on the scale going down consistently. It feels really good, and I am really beginning to enjoy the power I feel by not letting food run my life!
Lorie- Congrats to you!! Never tried the trim260 though, am not a fan of the pills. Blessings to you and your expanding family!
Shelly- I totally feel you, I just avoid the scale usually when its TOM. No shame in taking some time away from the scale. Maybe you need to see some other measuring devices for a few days. hahaha
Tailee- Nice work! On the sleep topic, yeah, it can really derail you! I never realized how easily, but it can. You can totally do it, get back on that horse and show him who's boss!
On a side note, thanks to everyone that had words of wisdom and stories to share relating to my boy-situation. It's weird, but I don't feel like I can talk to anyone around me about it, not even my roommates really know what was going on with me. I'm not sure if it's that I'm embarrassed by how stupid I think it sounds or if I just don't think anyone will understand. Maybe the anonymity of the internet just feels for comfortable. Either way, you are the ones that I actually ended up telling, and thanks very much for making me feel better about it. I really do appreciate it :-)
Peace, love, and happiness to all of you ladies, and I hope everyone is having a fab day wherever they are!
! Aweful. 
Great job for being able to stay on plan for a week--that IS a huge accomplishment! Sorry about the yucky feelings. I had those big time my first week of school, because it was my first week at school being single in almost two years...just really, really weird. Also saw my ex on campus (he's already graduated) which was NOT fun. I'm glad you're trying to focus on the positive, though. Hang in there!
I'm sure the ladies post eventually, haha. And congrats on your baby boy!!!! That's wonderful. I'm glad everything is working out, too!