I've realized that I've been on this weight loss journey for two years now, and while I've gained some great habits, I also have a weight loss confession:

Oftentimes, I dread eating because I think that If I don't eat, I'll burn more fat. I know its wrong, and I eat because I'm supposed to.

No judgement, do you have any weight loss confessions?

I TOTALLY understand how you feel. I do the same thing. And then you feel worse about yourself for wanting to go back to unhealthy habits (even though these habits are the opposite from what we USED to do).

I feel the same way.

Today I knew I was taking one of the kids I mentor out to supper, and we would probably get pizza because that's her favorite. So I budgeted for pizza. I left about 800 calories for the evening (even though the personal pizza I would have ordered was only 550 calories).

Well, we ended up going to the bowling alley instead and I KNOW I have enough calories left for pretty much anything on the menu, and I made a choice for a chicken sandwich. Yet last minute when I'm making the order I ordered a garden salad with no dressing. SERIOUSLY? It was probably no more than 250 calories because it was just lettuce and tomatoes and Parmesan basically. It was a lot of lettuce, but still when I got home I was like... blaaaah I've only had like 600 calories today... so I forced myself to eat a big handful of nuts when I got home, and an ice cream bar. Still under calories today, but I might go get a snack before I go to bed. I know it's okay to be under every once in awhile but this mentality happens often.

ever I do the same thing - THAT or go over my calories because I have restricted myself too much during the day and I am starving.


My silly weight loss thing is that I shave my legs before I weigh-in. Granted I weigh-in with my trainer after my workout but I make sure I am silky smooth.

I know it is not going to make any difference at all but it is a mental thing.

I honestly worry that I am going to be one of those people who can just not stop themselves from acting like this at the end of the weight loss journey when I try to start maintaining.

My little sis has struggled with anorexia for a good number of years. Its funny for me to say I'm 186 pounds right now and worried about anorexia, but GEEZ. Honestly if I can't get out of this mental state. Even if I feel like I ate a "bad" meal that day and haven't gone over calories... like if I had budgeted pizza and ate pizza, I probably would have made myself go running or something afterwards. Blah.

I dont eat much/at all before weigh in. I think its more of a nerves thing than a omg if I eat the scales wont like me thing. Like I'm allowed 23 points a day on WW and I only had 3.5 yesterday before weigh in...

I try to set healthy goals. Right now I tell everyone I want to be at 135. However, in my mind, my goal is really 125. I know it doesn't seem to healthy, but this is the weight I spent most of my teen years and I just can't seem to break away from that number. Even my driver's license says 125, because I got it at 16. I guess I feel that is my weight loss confession. How do I get out of wanting an unrealistic weight?

Mine is off the subject of food.

I weigh myself every morning, which I hear isn't a good idea. AND I sometimes weigh myself before and after I use the restroom, especially the few days after I have my "free" days.

After I use the restroom, I weigh myself too! I don't know why because during the day, I've eaten and it's moot, but still. I just can't control the weighing monster when I use the toilet.

Another weight loss confession is I have *no* idea what my goal weight should be. My body image is so distorted that I feel like I weigh 300 pounds and that is what I see in the mirror, even though I wear a size 16/18! I want to be a 6 or an 8 and my mother tells me that is never going to happen, which makes me really sad. I want to be that size! I guess what I am trying to say from this complete and total OT ramble is that the weight/size I *want* to be is quite likely impossible and it terrifies me! I honestly settled on 160 because a) due to my body frame and bone density, getting to a weight like 120 is difficult and b)6 is my lucky number, so other options were 600, 60, or 2/3/460. 160 seemed the best lol

Gaaaah here I've posted a ridiculously long post again, super late at night because I just *had* to catch up on The Bachelorette.

yes. I would restrict myself daytime and then at nighttime I would realize that I pretty much eat nothing but little fruit and veggie and then end up eating a big meal >.>

I stare at women of all sizes checking them out especially at the gym. It makes me work out extra hard when there are people in the gym with me.

My gym also faces a giant outdoor pool so I love staring at the bikini ladies when I'm running imagining myself in their position. It's a great motivator

Yes I'm losing weight for health reasons among other things but a big (BIG) factor is vanity. I want to look good when I'm young and I wish I had started in my teens.

I want to run into all the people I know (especially the ex) and see me right now. This is why I've posted a lot of FB pictures of trips I've been taking recently. I like people feeling jealous. That's horrible but it feels great.

My deepest darkest ... there you go.

I'm ridiculous because if I eat ONE little tiny thing that I didn't plan, I feel like I've ruined the day and have gone way off the wagon. Yesterday, for instance, I ate ONE starburst...one...and I felt like I had just blown it. It's like there is this rational part of my mind that knows that a 20 calorie starbust does not a diet ruin, but also this crazy obsessive part that freaks out in fear that I am heading right back down binge lane.

I also did something silly the other day...I was going to weigh and of course, I always take all my clothes off, and I had a sudden, new, GENIUS idea: Take my glasses off, too! I actually thought it would make that much of a difference...? And in a way it did...I couldn't read the numbers. Lol.

I'm a dork.

Oh, my goodness, I do that too! It's so silly of me because even when it's in your body, the waste doesn't count! And sometimes I weigh myself at night to see how much all the food and stuff I have had weighs.

Now I only allow myself to weigh once a day, if that, because it made me too obsessive.

I do the same thing!!! lol

I confess that:
*When I weigh myself it has to be first thing in the morning, before I've eaten anything, after I've used the restroom and with no clothes on!
*I'm worried I'll never be able to have a normal relationship with food again where I can just eat without thinking about the calories in something, which I suppose is good from a maintanance point of view, but as someone who adores cooking and eating it scares me that I might not ever be able to indulge without feeling guilty.
*I want to make people jealous! Of course I want to be healthier and all, but making other people jealous is a pretty big motivator for me!