I didn't think I had any real "confessions" but after reading a few, I kinda realized that there are things that I do that I try not to let others know.
I obsess. I mean, there's no way in the world I can lose an ounce if I do anything less. So i'm always trying not to let that show. I have to constantly tell myself not to suddenly bring up weight loss and eating when talking to people. When someone else brings it up, I have to consciously tone down the amount that I want to say about it.
I have to stop myself from entering into a lecture about healthy food and eating right when I hear someone complaining about their weight and then proceed to say (almost like they're boasting?) "this is my first meal of the day" and it's 4:30pm. Amongst other bad eating habits.
I feel almost like I have to hide when someone in the office tells me they brought food (bagels, pizza, danishes, etc). I'll act interested but then I'll avoid it like the plague. I'm known as the one that always brings her own healthy food and lives on veggies and fruit and am always "so good". So if I actually have a bite of something you can see the joy in that person's eyes that I'll actually break my good food habit for them. Once, someone even hugged me for having a piece of their birthday cake.
I compare myself to others. all the time. Not necessarily trying to say who's better, just analyzing how other people put themselves together. I think it's because I used to think that thin people were perfect and now i realize there's lots of different bodies out there and the thin ones aren't always the most attractive.
I feel sorry for people/friends who are overweight or obese. Please don't take this the wrong way, but it hits the heart to see what difficulties they face. And you know why? Not only because I went through my fair share of terrible times when I was bigger my whole life, but because of reading so many peoples stories here at 3FC! So it's not in a mocking way by any means, but a way where I want to reach out with a magical wand and make things better for them. Ridiculous I know, but that's how it is.
3. I secretly hope my "fat friends" don't lose any weight (not that they're trying).
That is totally me. I have a friend (she's actually an on off friend who is a total ***** to me sometimes, which helps) who has ALWAYS been fatter than me. Always, when I've gained, she has gained more. So I always check her out on facebook to make sure that she hasn't gotten any skinnier, and the main thing I think about is how awesome it will be for her to see me so skinny when I'm done. So bizarre...but I can't deny it!
Current Weight: 178
Goal Weight: 150
Current Goal: 165 by April 15
here we go...
-At the gym I try to get on the treadmill next to someone who is running and NEVER next to a heavy guy... I guess I associate heavy and guy with stink?
-I weigh in the morning... every morning
-My sister told me in my sr year of high school that she sucked in her tummy all the time. She taught me how and now I can't NOT do it.
-I love water!
-Even though I love fruits and healthy food... I still think it would be better if I could still lose and eat the bad choices. =/
-I had self doubts before I started losing weight, but I thought I was a pretty awesome person. Now? I don't like a lot of things about myself, it seems the smaller I get the more nitpicky I get.
-I got so terrified of losing my boobs when I got to goal, that when I hit 153 I actually gained weight so they would fill out again. Now 10lbs heavier I regret that choice! Padded bras here I come!
Mini Goals - 179 achieved: 169 achieved: 163 achieved: 159 achieved:
145-150 achieved(GOAL! I get to spend my gift cards on new clothes!)
Alright... guess I'll hop in here, though I kinda feel guilty about some of these...
- I am always comparing myself to thin women. What's better about them? Or better about me?
- I think really, really thin girls are gross... and have never been shy about sharing that.
- My boyfriend thinks I'm pretty/cute/beautiful/sexy the way I am... and I know he loves me, but I have a hard time being ok with myself most of the time. I wish I felt more pretty/cute/etc.
- I have so many 'problem areas'... that I wonder if I'll ever feel comfortable in my own skin.
- My ex-fiance (of a couple years ago) cheated on me with a very small girl. Just recently he came back into my life proclaiming that he still loves me, only to find out that I'm happily settled down with my new man. I'd still love to knock my ex out though, with a healthy/happy/sexy "new" me. Sort of a "look what you left behind, and what you're missing out on, and what you'll never have again" kind of revenge.
- I have a heavy friend just like me, but for years she was much thinner. Now, we're about the same weight - but I carry it much better!
My boobs shrink whenever I lose weight. What really sucks, is they didn't get any bigger through my pregnancy! Whats that about?
My main confession is that I find losing weight addicting. I did SB before I got preggo in 2008 and lost 25 lbs in about 3 months. I was ready continue full force when I got pregnant.
I've been doing SB again and am down 24 lbs. I was planning on stopping for 2 months once i got down 30 lbs and then start back up for an additional 20 but I have decided that I would rather just keep going. Seeing the number fall on the scale or watching my weight chart going in a downward direction is like crack to me. I LOVE it!
One more: I hate my skin. Its red and blotchy and freckly and pale. Even when I'm tan, i'm still a little red. All the time. Even when I'm skinny, I think I will never truly like the way I look in a tank top because I think my skin is ugly.
Lost 46 pounds from 3/1/2010 to 3/1/2011. Attempting to lose 10-15 more starting 1/2/2013.
I have lost 28 pounds so far and now weigh 130, this is good I know, but to be honest i still feel soooooo fat. My ultimate goat is 120 pounds, I know this is kind of low for my height but nothing more will do in my mind. Really though im terrified even this will not be enough, why can't i like what i see when i look in the mirror?.
Mmmk. Here I go.
I really judge really overweight people. I find myself thinking things about them like: why cant they see they are so big and do anything about it?
I hate excersizing in front of people. Hate it.
When people ask me if I'm losing weight I pretend im not.
I hate eating my healthy food in front of people. At school I will go out to my car and eat, then come back inside to socialize.
I'm absolutely TERRIFIED of Sunday dinners at my house. It throws off my whole eating schedule and the whole time I am basically panicking.
I am constantly drinking water. Hoping I'll pee out more weight or something.
I HATE it when my mom sees me, because she always says "your looking skinner!" and for some reason it really pisses me off.
I feel the same way sometimes about eating. When I total the days calories and see 900 I know I should eat a little more but I won't because I'm scared I might binge and over eat. I try to figure out what to eat the day before usually so my calories are already totaled to the right amount so I don't have to worry about under eating and then binging.
My weird thing about weighing in is that when I weigh in its early in the morning before work on Mondays and I won't have anything to drink until after I weigh in.
- part of me wants to lose the weight to shut my parents' mouths once and for all, especially my dad, who identifies himself as the 'healthy' one in the family even though he has bad eating habits and basically yo-yo diets.
- I'm happy to be smaller than the 'queen bee' of my high school group of friends
- I have my own 'contest' in my head with one of the girls on this forum! I respect her and her progress and wanting to keep up with her keeps me going. I'll never tell which one though!
- since I was a little girl I've idolized Lara croft from the tomb raider games, i want to go on an outdoor adventure someday and climb and jump to some cool location just like her.
- I want to be the sexiest of this generation of my fiance's family. I compete with all the in-laws and in-law in-laws (aka: BIL's wives)
eheh, old thread but these made me laugh, seeing as i do a lot of them.
- sometimes, when i'm dieting really seriously, i get to a point where i'm playing this game of "how few calories can it eat today?"... course it never lasts that long, but i do tend to get obsessive about it.
- i also weigh myself in the morning and won't eat/drink anything before i have
- i watch the biggest loser so i can look at the contestants and feel better about myself. of course, when they get to the end i start going "well i'm not too far from that..." lol. anyhoo, watching BL also always motivates me to work out, so i guess it's win-win... they should have one in the summer too
- i'm secretly really proud that i carry my weight much better than other people who are around my weight - or sometimes even lighter but still chubs.
- when i was a lot bigger, i used to really hate on skinny girls who dressed horribly. i'd be thinking like "how DARE you shame that body with your rags??? if i looked like you, i'd look sooooooo much better" lol.
- I straight up do not believe I'll ever lose the weight. Like I don't deserve to feel good about myself.
- At 5'8 166lbs I can barely squeeze into a size 12. I feel like I'm freaking HUGE for my weight. Pretty sure I'm made of entirely of pudding. I jiggle. Everywhere.
- I see heavier women doing exercises I can't do and think "its harder for me" even though it probably isn't. They just want it more than I do. Push harder.
September 2015 (re)restart!
No one gives it to you, you have to take it.
all time high: 200
2014 starting weight: 167 (down to 145)
2015 starting weight:160 ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh
1. I am of the early morning no food, after pee, naked weighers. I also weigh myself four times just to be sure. I am excited if I manage to poop before hand too.
2. I have been overweight since college and have yo yo'ed but this time with my fiancÚ is some of the best I have ever done, which scares me because once he is at goal weight I have a lot to go.
3. I have lost about 20 lbs and already have saggy boobs what are they going to look like when I lose another 60?
Mini Goal- -25lbs to get Tory Burch Shoes
Goal 1: Under 200- Done the first week! Goal 2: 182- 25 gone- I get the Urban decay naked pallet. 11/11/13 Goal 3:157- 50lbs lost- Tory Burch Sandals Goal 4: 130 GOAL! And $1,000 new wardrobe!!