I got mine out about 5 years ago, and I will admit, despite the discomfort etc. I loved seeing that weight come off, and the automatic dieting that comes from not being able to eat most foods (I had the same experience when I got my tonsils out 7 years ago...).

That being said, it is pretty uncomfortable.

I confess that I am extremely jealous of my friends who are all normal-sized and I wonder how it is to live without the pressure of having to lose weight heavy on your shoulders (no pun intended). Like, how great it is to go shopping without wondering "oh what ugly parts me will show in this dress" so you don't buy it, or eating without thinking "how many more months till I am no longer fat and disgusting".

A lot of people tell me I am interesting and talented but no one I ever meet in person (without meeting online first) ever thinks that because they just can't look beyond my looks, and I don't blame them. Being fat is never respected. Having a weakness showing when people first meet you so they INSTANTLY make an impression of you. Being fat is never like having acne, or being ugly, or having crappy hair. It's something YOU chose to do yourself so that's why I absolutely despise it when people judge me based on it. Because I did this to myself.

I also hate that no guys ever flirt with me in person. It's like when they see me they totally disregard me as a female that's dateable and girlfriend material. It never happened to me, ever. I once got sexually harassed by a creep but I was never flirted with, which makes it even worse.

I also hate that I am a size 20 UK which is known to be ONLY available in plus size stores. I keep telling myself that I am an 18 UK but in reality I am a 20. I can't wait to fit in my old 18/16 UK clothes again.

I confess that I am tired of always wondering about calories and what I put into my mouth. Will there ever be a time where I won't obsess about it and just eat like a "normal" human being would?

Last night I was laying in bed thinking how impossible 160 is. I have lost almost 50 lbs, and it still seems so far away.

I confess I sometimes just want to throw in the towel. Getting to 160 has been such an accomplishment and 150 would be the bees knees...but it just seems to be too hard.

I confess that I STILL, weekly, over do it with cereal. Like, 3 small bowls a day. And if I don't have milk, I'll pour some into a bowl and eat it with my fingers. BUT, I did just realize that it's not the cereal I'm craving, it's the sugar (not that it's a high sugar cereal, but you know what I mean). Maybe now that I recognize the specific craving, I can control it better.

I confess that I still sometimes look at girls who are thinner than I am and think "you just have good genes". Not only do I believe genetics does not have a lot to do with our weight, but I wish my mindset was more positive and happy for them!

I confess that I'm currently trying to distract myself so I don't destroy the brownies that are in the kitchen. (they're for my hubby's work tomorrow and they smell like heaven).

The things I've heard most often from guys are that I'm cute, adorable... Or they just go straight to smart and funny (which always makes me wonder why they aren't commenting on my physical appearance).

I confess that i really want to be called beautiful and sexy. I thought that by losing weight I would fit that...but now I'm not so sure.

I'm afraid I'm constantly going to get down to the weight I've always been and then let go because that's where I'm comfortable.

I make myself feel like a failure for eating at my already lowered calorie limit for the day.

I hate exercising alone because I think people are judging me, which keeps me from ever going out without my husband.

I'm afraid I'll continue to let myself be scared and self ashamed preventing myself ever reaching my goal.