[RememberHowToSmile]

So I signed up for a dating website and since working out is such a big part of me I wrote about it in my profile. I've chatted with a bunch of people but haven't met anyone yet. I always freak out when they want to met because (1) I am afraid of rejection and (2) I haven't told anyone in my real life that I'm on these sights so I don't know how to explain to my roommates (who is my best friend) how I met these men considering they she is really opposed to internet dating (she married the only person she's dated so doesn't know what it's like to try and meet people).

Anyways back to my question ... I'm chatting with two men, for just over a week now, and they have both want to have gym dates as our first dates. What's your opinions on this? I think it would be a good non-stress first day because it eliminates some of the uncomfortable talking aspects and ackwardness. But then I'm nervous about what my body looks like (excess skin on my thighs and legs) seeing me all sweaty with my hair a mess. Not exactly a great first impression. So what would you say?

[FreeSpirit]

I personally would not want to meet somebody for the first time at a place where I frequent. Maybe I'm paranoid, but if they know I go there on a regular basis then it would be easy for them to follow me somewhere when I'm done working out, you know?

[duckyyellowfeet]

I wouldn't, if I were in the situation. I'm not opposed to dates that involve physical activity...but the gym? Please, I just want to zone out, watch TV and pay attention to my heart rate. I can't imagine trying to make it through the last 15 minutes of my cardio session AND attempt to be charming at the same time.

[redliss7]

Ha, see I would. I love stuff like that though. I've met 2/3 of my last boyfriends at the gym or in the weightroom where all the sports teams have lifts. I like to go on gym dates also. I think if its something you both love to do, why not? i mean, you don't have to competitive race each other but you could do fun stuff like raquetball, the rock wall, basektball, stuff like that. I've taken one boyfriend to spin class a few times. If you like it and you're good at it, why wouldn't you want to do that? It'll let you show off. I always like to show my guys the rowing machine but then again, I'm a rower. As long as you don't think too much, you'll be fine. Also, skip heavy makeup. good luck!

[shortandfluffy]

I am kinda with FreeSpirit. One reason is because if he turns out to be one of those stalker types he will know where to find you. That would bother me.

Just be safe!

[effie12]

Hmm, I'm kind of torn on this one. On one hand, I know a lot of people who've met boyfriends at the gym (usually in the weight room as opposed to while doing cardio) and those relationships seemed to be good for them.

On the other hand, I see fitness and weight loss as a very personal thing (at least for me), and I'm not sure if I'd want someone I didn't know to enter into that world. Workout time is me time, I sweat and listen to my music and zone out. I don't want to have to concentrate on how my hair looks, if I'm red faced, or try and have an awkward conversation while panting on the elliptical. Honestly, I think that gym dates are maybe more appropriate for more established relationships? Besides, I'd be worried he might be a major fitness freak who would look down on me if I ate something 'off' or didn't want to work out one day.

[mkendrick]

Hmm, besides the fact that I look (and smell) my absolute worst after about 20 minutes at the gym, I don't know if it's really the right atmosphere to foster any kind of potential romance.

If you both share interest in fitness in common (which is awesome!) then maybe there's some other physical activity that you could do together other than just-another-day-at-the-gym kinda thing. A hike? Rock climbing wall? Maybe even a walk/jog in a park?

Anyways, that would give you a better story on how you met. If anybody asks, you can just say "oh...we met at the park" and be totally honest, haha.

[saef]

Too distracting for a first date.

Trying to multitask like that means you won't do thing very well. It will be hard to work out to your fullest potential when you're distracted by someone else's proximity & conversation. And it will be hard to really focus on the guy as he deserves, and for you to "feel out" certain things about him & whether he may appeal to you in person.

Maybe make the first date about having a coffee, or maybe a meal, where you are one-on-one & talking.

Or go for a walk. Even make it a kind of hike, if you want, where you have to do a bit of leaping & scrambling.

I have all the confidence in the world in your ability to walk & talk at the same time. But as for getting into the optimum heart rate zone while simultaneously figuring out whether you really like a stranger enough to see him again -- I think that's a lot to ask of yourself.

[tiffany0809]

I personally wouldn't do it. I went on a few online dates and the best way for me to approach it was to plan a quick date, like maybe an hour for a drink or coffee. That way it leaves the opportunity to have a meal or something afterwards if it's going well, but if it's not it's an easy way for a quick escape, especially if it's an afternoon date and you're like, oh I have plans with friends later. I always like to think about the safety issue too. If he knows where you go, he could show up for whatever reason. Probably not a great idea.