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Old 06-02-2009, 11:53 AM   #1
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Default Compliment? Insult? Conflicting Feelings.

I was speaking to my boyfriend's brother about my boyfriend's very close friend who is a girl. They grew up together and so have been friends for years and years. Apparently she has always had a "thing" for my boyfriend but they have never been more than friends. She's married now with 2 kids, I don't feel the least bit threatened so I wasn't bothered by this conversation. She and I are also pretty close.

But it was a comment that his brother made that sort of offended me......and made me feel good at the same time. He said "Yeah I'm glad that my brother is with you and not her because she's kind of a head case," and then he added after a short pause, "and you're not fat."

Now this girl is only a little bigger than me but she's not huge and she's really very pretty (I think so anyway) and I only see a very small difference in our size but apparently his brother see's quite a difference. I was slightly offended because that was sort of a mean thing to say about her and I used to be a lot bigger (250 lbs.) so maybe I'm a little over-sensitive about comments like that anyway....but in the back of my mind I couldn't help feeling a little flattered that he didn't think I was fat. Now I'm feeling guilty about feeling good about it. Sheesh!

Sorry for the rambling, it's just something that's been on my mind for a while (we had this conversation a couple of months ago).
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Old 06-02-2009, 01:34 PM   #2
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hmmm... okay here goes...
1) That's great news that you have the family approval!
2) don't be offended that he called someone fat just because you've been bigger at one time. That's just an unnecessary stress. People can be mean and it's obvious that he didn't like her for his brother so he could have easily said anything else like that she smelled bad or was annoying. In all likelihood you wouldn't consider that offensive to you.
3) You were called thin! live it up!
4) It's been 2 months, you're allowed to let it go now.

So ya, take it as a compliment that your boyfriend's brother likes you and that you are better than his last girlfriend and of couse everyone before her too. Because that's always a nice boost to the ego.

I still remember when I first met my fiance's friends one of them said "You better stay thin". Lovely eh? I just took it as 'sweet! I was just called thin!' lol I totally ignored the negativity of the message because why should i concern myself with that.
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Old 06-02-2009, 01:35 PM   #3
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lol--sounds like a typical guy comment--sounds like bro is actually wanting to chat you up..LOL...

"Be who you are, say what you feel. Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter." --Dr. Seuss
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Old 06-02-2009, 06:02 PM   #4
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lol that was a weird way to give a compliment. Maybe he was chatting you up lol!
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes itís the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow."
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Old 06-04-2009, 02:04 AM   #5
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chatting you up...lol...that's not an American phrase is it...i love it...i know random comment
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