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Old 05-27-2009, 06:37 PM   #1
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Default Dealing with the family

Today i grabbed a 1 cubic inch of cheese from the fridge (which i logged in my calorie book) and my mom turns to me and says: "so i guess the diet is over huh" and smirks/rolls eyes...
I felt horrible, as if that little piece of cheese is the reason I'm fat. My mom obviously doesn't believe that I could lose weight. Her years of yoyo dieting drilled "CARBS=BAD" and "CHEESE=BAD" into her head. Is she right?

How do you respond to these types of remarks?
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Old 05-27-2009, 06:42 PM   #2
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Been there done that, my Dad is the worst for snobby comments regarding my weight loss. Example: "You're dieting, you can't eat that!"
I just learned to ignore his uneducated comments, because he doesn't know what he is talking about. Most of the time I tell him to mind his own business... in a pleasant way.
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Old 05-27-2009, 06:44 PM   #3
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I never told anyone I was dieting for reasons such as this. I didn't want the remarks, the looks, the conversations behind my back.

How would I react? I don't know. Possibly I would tell her that the item was on plan for me if I responded at all.

"Be who you are, say what you feel. Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter." --Dr. Seuss
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Old 05-27-2009, 07:14 PM   #4
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Tell her, "yes - the diet is over" I've decided to change my lifestyle and eat healthfully. This cheese is part of my plan."
Then, pop it in your mouth - savor every single calorie of it and SMILE - knowing that you are indeed doing the right thing.

Mothers do not always know best

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? ICor 6:19
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Old 05-27-2009, 07:17 PM   #5
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I wouldn't have said anything (as you did) but I'd let it totally FUEL my desire to prove her wrong. Unless, of course, it was her manipulative way of trying to 'motivate' you. Eh. I'd still work even harder just to show myself that even if SHE couldn't do it, I could.

Most likely she's making that comment because if YOU succeed, then what excuse does she rely on? If you fail, it justifies all the times she's failed. Does that make sense? It's illogical and emotional but may be true. Does she seem competitive with you in other areas? I could be totally wrong but it's at least something to consider.

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Old 05-27-2009, 07:28 PM   #6
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I would roll my eyes right back at her and ditch the "mother guilt". It's truly none of her business and really when it comes down to the heart of things do you really think she should win with her ASSumption?

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Old 05-27-2009, 07:51 PM   #7
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I'd want to say, "Sounds like that gives you pleasure."
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"It is impossible to live pleasurably without living wisely, well, and justly, and it is impossible to live wisely, well, and justly without living pleasurably" Epicurus
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Old 05-27-2009, 08:04 PM   #8
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Well, I don't recommend doing what I would do -- which would be to tell her to shut the f*** up -- because I have no patience when it comes to people saying rude things to me, and I don't have the gene that makes me regret being abrasive to people when I think they deserve it.

I would definitely make sure to let her know it was disrespectful and that you don't want to deal with her snarky bullcrap because it's not motivating or helpful, so she should knock it off.

It's best to nip these sorts of things before they become commonplace and they think it's okay to do it.

Last edited by NishKitten; 05-27-2009 at 08:07 PM.
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Old 05-27-2009, 08:34 PM   #9
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thats so harsh Im another closet dieter, but i'd probably make some joke. Reminds me of in The Devil Wears Prada where that receptionist girl is complimented on looking thin and shes like "Im on a new diet- i dont eat anything and when i feel like im about to faint I eat a tiny cube of cheese"


"If you want to get thin, stick the mars bar up your a** and get a rottweiler to chase you down the street"- Billy Connolly
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Old 05-27-2009, 09:03 PM   #10
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I'm sorry. That wasn't nice at all. I would just tell her that it is allowed on your diet and walk away.
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Old 05-28-2009, 12:46 AM   #11
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Oh boy I know what you mean. Both of my parents do that sort of thing to me. But the worst is my bf. Cause my parents are caring about it whereas when he does it it just seems mean. He'll say something like "are you SURE you want that?" and give me this look. I always end up pissed off when we does that. HOWEVER, when my parents do it I'll either calmly explain that I am well within my calorie goals for the day or I just won't respond.

Either way I know it sucks, but nobody knows what you can and cannot have as well as you. Just trust your own judgment and remember they'll all want your advice once you get to goal!
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Old 05-28-2009, 02:23 AM   #12
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Oh yeah I know exactly where you are coming from. My mum is really bad for things like that - the sad thing is she really thinks she is helping me but she just makes me feel bad about myself. My mum has been a yo-yo dieter since she was in her twenties and I grew up around her obsession which I know accounts for a lot of the eating issues I had in highschool, but these days i'm trying to be sensible and healthy - not just starve myself or cut out every food that contains carbs or whatever. But she told me the other day that i must stop eating bread - like it's any of her business anyway. I don't eat gallons of bread, I mean what's wrong with having a bread roll if my calories permit it. It really, really winds me up! I think we all have that kind of thing to some extent.

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Old 05-28-2009, 01:41 PM   #13
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My response would be to explain I'm on a lifestyle change, not a diet, and that cheese is very healthy in moderation, like all things in life.

My mother gave me a similar comment once when I was drinking a vitamin water and all the sugar in it. I just informed her that It was the first time I'd ever had one, and when you take 3 days to drink it its probably OK.

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Old 05-28-2009, 01:48 PM   #14
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Ask her how her diet's going, and then point out you've already lost 15 lbs, eating a single cheese cube and all.
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Old 05-28-2009, 02:51 PM   #15
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my uncle always does the same thing to me. he's actually done it my whole life, to all of my cousins and i. "are you sure you need that extra brownie?" damn straight I do. i never even told him i was "dieting" because i just cut calories, so i'm still eating the same crap (cookies, cake, ice cream and all) that i always did. he kept making those comments until memorial day when i went to get a THIRD brownie (i totally went over my calorie count for the day shhh) and he made a face at me and i simply said..."yes i'm having a third brownie, and i've lost 30 lbs." and walked away.
in your situation i'd probably say "nope and cheese is on it" then walk away...i use the frustration to fuel me in my next workout
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