I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years and we have started to talk about marriage and getting engaged. But last night I almost wanted to just give up!
Now... I know that he loves me with all his heart, I can't BEGIN to explain to you the many ways he's helped me (especially supported me through this weight loss journey and bought me a gym membership) It's hard for him to open up because his father died when he was 10 and he distances himself emotionally from a lot of situations because it's the only way he knows how to cope. It's taken him quite a lot between the time we first met and now to get him to open up and even now it's still a struggle. I'm someone who wears my heart on my sleeve and he couldn't be more secretive with his emotions.
He's been really busy at work, coming home around 8, 9 sometimes 10 at night. And then when he comes home he's doing MORE work. He designs Nuclear Protection Systems so I can imagine how stressful it is trying to keep people's faces from melting right off... But lately he has been SNAPPING at me. Almost every night when he gets home it's just something new that has him irritated or upset and I finally had it.
I had to explain to him how hurt I was that he was doing this. I understood his situation at work but that doesn't give him a free ticket to take his stress out on me. I was standing there crying and he. Just. Stood. There.
Then he left to go upstairs. I followed him into the bedroom and asked him why he couldn't just show some sympathy and he said that he did love me but he needed to distance himself and he didn't want to argue because he had to relax so he could go to sleep. How could he be so oblivious to my pain? He just shrugged and in the most insincere tone he could muster explained that he was sorry and then continued to surf the internet on his computer.
It took him sometime afterward to come over and hug me and TRULY tell me he was sorry but dammit... What the ****? I know his career is important but I'm important too. Not only that but he is terrible at reading emotion. I could be standing there glaring at him screaming and he would ask if I was going to make dinner.
Anyway... That's my rant. I was so upset I barely ate the dinner I made which was pretty damn tasty too. But I did wake up this morning to see that I dropped a pound (technically down to 179 from 183 when I decided to start loosing weight but I decided to start my ticker at 180 because I usually hovered around their in the mornings when I weigh myself.) And my boyfriend came over again to tell me he was sorry about last night. Whew.
So in summary, men are clueless about what to do when a girl is crying and I lost a pound.