[Kofarq]

Wow. You have really done your homework! You seem like a very intelligent, well written young woman. I see success in your future however you decide to deal with this.

[jahjah1223]

My husband isnt supporting my weight loss either.. i can see it in the way he looks at me .. but i remind myself that i am doing this for ME .

[celigirl88]

Originally Posted by Kofarq

Wow. You have really done your homework! You seem like a very intelligent, well written young woman. I see success in your future however you decide to deal with this.

Thank you! That was a very nice comment . After reading what everybody had to say, I am just going to deal with this my way. I am going to do this for me and only me, and stay as focused as I can. Regardless of what anybody else wants to do, I only have to worry about me and thats it. I will get there with or without his help!

[QTestRDH]

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one going through this. Sometimes men are so dense!! I've gained probably 60lbs since I started dating my boyfriend 4 years ago. I was the thinnest I'd ever been in my life when I met him. And pretty darn cute if I don't say so myself! So I know how it feels to want to look like you used to! He too, is not very supportive. But after looking at some of my behavior I can't blame him. I've said I was gonna diet and really get in shape probably 100 times since we've been together, and it never goes anywhere. Sometimes I think men need to see results before they believe how serious you are about something. Talk means nothing to them. I'm like the little girl who cried diet haha. The most important thing is that they still stand by us through thick and thin. Literally. Men are just wired differently. Stick to what you're doing and do it for you. I'm sure he will show you how proud he is of you as time progresses!

[celigirl88]

Originally Posted by QTestRDH

I've said I was gonna diet and really get in shape probably 100 times since we've been together, and it never goes anywhere. Sometimes I think men need to see results before they believe how serious you are about something. Talk means nothing to them. I'm like the little girl who cried diet haha

I'm the same way as you. I've done this diet things a million times and said I'm "going to be serious this time" but I figured since the winter is coming up and I don't go out much, itd be a great time to really get into shape for the spring time. I know once he sees that he needs to start buying me some smaller clothes, he'll see how I'm in this for the long run and serious about it!

[njoytheride]

I'm in sorta the same situation as you. Like you, I've been on so many diets I can hardly count them all. Like you, my boyfriend constantly tells me that he loves me the way I am. My boyfriend is one of those guys who can eat whatever the heck they want and still be skinny. It's not fair when he knows I'm trying my hardest to eat healthy and he wants to eat a pizza and a whole bag of chips. The good news is, the past month he has been coming around and eating healthy with me. He admits that he does feel healthier and has added oatmeal to one of his favorite foods. Who would've thought? He also says the bonus to healthy eating and regular exercise? Better sex. Seriously. Losing weight = Confidence = Feeling sexy. (sorry if that was TMI hehe)

I would also suggest the 30 Day Shred if you can't get the whole gym issue sorted out. It really kicks your ***. Moreso than running for 30 minutes I say.

[jahjah1223]

Men just like to give us a hard time! But im sure deep down inside they're rooting for us

[celigirl88]

Originally Posted by njoytheride

It's not fair when he knows I'm trying my hardest to eat healthy and he wants to eat a pizza and a whole bag of chips.

He also says the bonus to healthy eating and regular exercise? Better sex. Seriously. Losing weight = Confidence = Feeling sexy. (sorry if that was TMI hehe)

I would also suggest the 30 Day Shred if you can't get the whole gym issue sorted out. It really kicks your ***. Moreso than running for 30 minutes I say.

That's funny because it seems whenever I get "serious" about dieting and losing weight (which is every other month it seems) thats when he picks the days to eat nothing but crap right in front of me and I'm so tempted to just binge but I know I can't.

I would agree though. Back when I had alot of self confidence I always felt "sexy" for him, now, not so much.

Does anybody have any tips for me to kinda let him know his eating habits suck without calling him an overeater and make him feel bad? I don't want to hurt his feelings but I would like to try to get him involved.

I'm really going to look into the 30 day shred. Almost everybody has mentioned it and I am definately gonna buy a copy this weekend after I get paid

[carcar05]

Well, I suppose it depends on the man, but with my husband it really helps when I offer to do the grocery shopping. That way he gets to stay home and play guitar while I go get healthy foods! I still pick up a snack or two for him - men, somehow, can eat more snacky foods without it showing up (plus he runs 5 miles a day now!). If it's things like eating a lot of take out, etc (major problem here just a few months ago!) it couldn't hurt to blame the budget for cutting back. You know, let him know you're concerned about the financial situation and you think you need to cut back in a few areas so that there is more money to be putting into savings, paying bills & debts, etc and that eating out is a major finance drainer.

So I totally used this, and guess what? This sounds sick, but we've been saving about $100 a month now that he's been eating out less! When it comes to money, he goes with it because it really is what's best for our budget. He gets take out once a week, and it's usually pizza or a burger and fries. I don't eat those things, so it's no big deal to me temptation wise and he still feels like he's getting to enjoy himself you know?

I don't know if those suggestions help in your situation. I guess the best advice would be to talk to him openly and honestly about your concerns, but not in a condescending way.

It's important to you to lose weight- you'd like to see him respect himself in the same way (taking care of his health). Men just want to know you love them, you know? So remember to be as loving as you can, because ultimately that's WHY you want him to take care of himself, because you love him. Share with him the reasons why (better sex, haha, that suggestion cracked me up but so true... more energy? stronger? longer life? being a more attractive couple!) haha you have to figure out whats important to him and show him how that aspect of his life will be improved by being healthier. and if kids are in the future you definitely want to be healthier, right?!

Good luck, sounds like you are a strong girl. Keep it up!

[celigirl88]

Carcar- Thanks for all your advice. You really have great ideas and I will certainly be using the budget one, and a Christmas excuse since we have to do Xmas shopping now .

We talked a little last night and he understands where I'm coming from, but he said sometimes he just doesn't think to himself that it may be hurting my feelings or bothering me when I'm trying so hard, so hes gonna try. Maybe I dont give him the credit he deserves. But I'm glad he knows where I stand.

[Its Courtney]

I know people like that...I had an ex that was discouraging and friends that were just the same. Some people I think have a problem with others succeeding and seeing results and being motivated. It seems like your boyfriend isn't exactly motivated, and seeing YOU that way makes him a little jealous. Plus some people see it as a competition...like, "Oh, she's losing weight, and I'm not...I've gotta catch up."

I dunno, it's tough to describe, but if I were you, just keep doing what you're doing. He'll have to get over your lifestyle and get over himself...such a guy! LoL But kudos to you for staying so strong!! Not a lot of people would keep going with a weight dragging them down. It'll all pay off!