3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 20-Somethings

Need prayers bad.... my sister is going back to abusive boyfriend

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 09-15-2008, 10:35 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
Here we go again's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vacaville, CA
Posts: 1,585

S/C/G: 327/270/199

Height: 5'11

Exclamation Need prayers bad.... my sister is going back to abusive boyfriend

Help! I'm not sure what to do. My sister who is 21 and has a 10 month old baby girl left her boyfriend/ baby's daddy. He threw things at her while holding their baby. He then pushed her and she was able to get away. She won't tell me everything that happened, but when she was able to get away from him, he got everything that he had ever gave her and set fire to it. Can you say physco? She left him and got most of her stuff out.

Now, a week later, she's wanting to go back to him. I have been in this same situation minus the child. I know what's she going through but she won't listen. I'm afraid that if she goes back that he will really hurt her and the baby. He has an anger problem and hasn't looked into getting help.

I don't know people's religious beliefs on here, but if you do pray, please pray for her. I'm 2,000 miles away from them and I'm so upset. We're praying that she goes with my brother to Texas for two weeks to get away from the controlling guy. He's got such a control over her and we're trying to let her see that it's a bad situation.

If you have any advice, I'm all ears. Thanks for your prayers!

Heather
__________________
.


. 4 months from now, what you will look like if you quit and what you will look like if you keep going? 4 months is going to happen no matter what, what will be your choice?
Here we go again is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2008, 10:46 PM   #2
*insert inspiration here*
 
caligirl98's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 505

S/C/G: 286/185/130

Default

She's in my prayers. I don't have any advice cause my best friend is/went through the same thing. Her baby's father took the baby, and stole my friends car and when my friend tried to stop him, he tried to run her over and a month a later, they were back together. They are on and off now, (he's still physically abusive) but she won't let him go because she loves him. Love will make you do some stupid things. *hugz*
caligirl98 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2008, 11:09 PM   #3
Wanting 2 b Smokin Hot!
 
CurvaceousCutie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 590

S/C/G: 396/350/199

Height: 5'2''

Default

oh ya def in my prayers. my aunt when she was 21 (i never met her) was killed by abusive x-bf and she had 2 lil boys at the time and now there in there 30s. he suffocated her w/ a pillow. hes thing was if i cant have u no1 will. and he was never charged for the it cuz of the fact that he was a cop. i don't think any1 should have to go thru abusive relationship of any kind its not good. i think u should help her in anyway u can cuz she deserves better. hopefully my situation helped u a lil of what it could lead to but i pray that that wont happen. but if u need to talk about anything contact me.
__________________


╚ ♥ I wake up every day with the realization that this is it, that there's only one shot at this life and I can either enjoy the ride and live it to it's fullest and to my highest potential or I can stay the way I am.
CurvaceousCutie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2008, 11:17 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
luvja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,434

Height: 5'9"

Default

You and your family are in my prayers. I hope God helps her make the right decision.
__________________
luvja is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2008, 10:19 AM   #5
Senior Member
 
Nevaeh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: SW Florida
Posts: 228

Height: 5'3"

Default

I'm so sorry to hear that. I've watched my cousin continuously go back to an abusive man so I really do not have any advice. All we can do is pray.
__________________
Nevaeh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2008, 10:41 AM   #6
Senior Member
 
Here we go again's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vacaville, CA
Posts: 1,585

S/C/G: 327/270/199

Height: 5'11

Default

I've been in this situation before. It's why I moved to California almost 7 months ago. She doesn't want to listen to me and says our situations are totally different, they're not. I just don't want her making the same mistakes I did. I'm so upset, I feel like it's making me sick! Do I just let her make her own descisions and when he beats her so bad then just be there for her?
__________________
.


. 4 months from now, what you will look like if you quit and what you will look like if you keep going? 4 months is going to happen no matter what, what will be your choice?
Here we go again is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2008, 11:04 AM   #7
You need me!
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Your Dreams, Kentuky.
Posts: 137

Height: 5'7"

Default

whatever you do, don't let her go back to him. I would never say let her learn on her own, since she has a child and I've seen what an angry man can do when he already shows signs of abuse.

If you have to, resort to doing something you don't want to do, but have to to keep her safe and her child. SHe has to think of her daughter as well. She'll be safer in the end and thank you.

You and her and her daughter are in my prayers.
__________________
I fell off the wagon, and now I have jump back on and Chain myself to it.
LindsayL0ve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2008, 11:06 AM   #8
Made of Starstuff
 
Lovely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 8,806

Default

Oh how heartbreaking! Your sister is in my thoughts. May she realize that she does not need a person like that in her life. Nor in her new child's life!
__________________
~Made of star stuff~
Lovely is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2008, 11:08 AM   #9
Senior Member
 
Here we go again's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vacaville, CA
Posts: 1,585

S/C/G: 327/270/199

Height: 5'11

Default

I have thought about called Child protective services. I think that will make things worse b/c his parents are in my nieces life too. She's in AR and I'm in CA. I feel like there's nothing I can do. I'm 2000 miles away. I talked to her on Sunday but now she's not returning anyone in the family's calls.
__________________
.


. 4 months from now, what you will look like if you quit and what you will look like if you keep going? 4 months is going to happen no matter what, what will be your choice?
Here we go again is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2008, 11:18 AM   #10
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 4,445

S/C/G: 237/165.8/130

Height: 5'4"

Default

I'm so sorry. I will be thinking about you and your family. I come from an abusive family and I know how hard it can be.

I hope your sister realizes that she doesn't have to live like this, at some point.

.
PhotoChick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2008, 11:50 AM   #11
Senior Member
 
raw23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 920

S/C/G: 204/187/140

Height: 5'8

Default

Yikes.
I'm sorry, I'm not much help. I've never understood why women stay in abusive relationships.
But I will pray for her.
raw23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2008, 12:08 PM   #12
Gain Control/Release LBS
 
JuliaDH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,704

S/C/G: 338/ticker/180

Height: 5'2"

Default

I am praying for all involved.
__________________
May 8 - June 1 2014 Goal
JuliaDH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2008, 12:08 PM   #13
TAG! you're it!
 
ghost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,349

S/C/G: 260/230/180

Height: 5'3"

Default

You have a responsibility to your neice who is helpless and not to your sister who is making bad decisions. If I were in your shoes, and believe me, I have been, I'd call child protective services and file a report. Your sister taking that baby back into that situation constitutes abuse and neglect. She's not only exposing the child to an abusive situation but she's also neglecting the childs saftey.
Maybe your sister is afraid to try and raise the baby on her own. Or maybe she is insecure for whatever reasons, but she's a mom now and she isn't allowed to make decision bases on HER feelings, she has to take her childs safety and welfare into consideration first and foremost.
Sorry, I worked as a childrens advocate at a shelter for victims of domestic violence for 7 years. Thats my take on the situation. If you want to get your sister away from that man, the way to do it is to let her know it is NOT OKAY for her to expose a child to violence, even if that man is her childs father.
__________________
*insert awesome signature here*
ghost is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2008, 12:30 PM   #14
Yarp.
 
UrsusMaritimus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 471

S/C/G: 172/ticker/145

Height: 5'5"

Default

Heather, I'm so sorry. You, your sister, and your niece are in my thoughts.

I agree with Ghost - you can't allow her to take her child back into that situation. Your sister is an adult and can make her own decisions (even bad ones), but your niece has no choice.

Stay strong. You can only do what you can do.
__________________
Jaclyn



The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them. ~George Bernard Shaw
UrsusMaritimus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2008, 12:44 PM   #15
Senior Member
 
Here we go again's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vacaville, CA
Posts: 1,585

S/C/G: 327/270/199

Height: 5'11

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by UrsusMaritimus View Post
Heather, I'm so sorry. You, your sister, and your niece are in my thoughts.

I agree with Ghost - you can't allow her to take her child back into that situation. Your sister is an adult and can make her own decisions (even bad ones), but your niece has no choice.

Stay strong. You can only do what you can do.
Thank you. I totally agree with you and Ghost. The problem is, she recently moved and I don't know her address. my entire family would hate me, which I would be ok with for a short time. I'm not going to do anything until after Thursday. She still has a ticket that my brother bought her to go to Texas for two weeks. If we can get her on that plane with my niece than she may leave him for good.
__________________
.


. 4 months from now, what you will look like if you quit and what you will look like if you keep going? 4 months is going to happen no matter what, what will be your choice?
Here we go again is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:40 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2