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Old 09-12-2008, 01:36 PM   #1
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Default Frustrating!

Ok, so last night I posted about how I recently went back to school (grad school) and have been sticking to my diet and like working out. Well today a group of people asked me to go out to lunch with them. Of course I want to make new friends, so I agreed, but we went to this burrito place. Um, yeah I had a huge chicken burrito w/sour cream. Ugh.

It's like as long as I'm alone or with someone who is also dieting-thus not temptations, I'm fine. But as soon as I go out the door and have like options, I consistently fail to make the right choice! I don't want to just turn down invites to go out to meet bc I have to meet new people, but I don't want to sabatoge my diet. I realize this is something where I need self-control, but how do I get that? And quickly?

And to make matters worse I'm going home for the weekend bc my sister is visitng. And I KNOW she's going to want to go out to eat at all our local favorites. I basically eat how others around me eat when I'm out, so I know it'll end up being unhealthy. Especially as we do family style at like Thai and chinese food restaurants. How do I learn to control my behavior? It's like before I go into the restaurant i have a plan, and then the second I look at the menu or sit down, it goes out the window.

Just frustrated with myself for giving in without a second thought (didn't even TRY to pick a healthy option, just went for whatever my friend was getting).
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Old 09-12-2008, 01:45 PM   #2
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I know what you mean. It's hard enough to take the invite knowing that there will be nothing but temptation. But then, you look at the menu and see favorites and think, "It's just this once."

My problem is that hubby and I LOVE to try new restaurants. For a while, I split my food in half and took the rest home for leftovers. After a while, that stopped. Now that I am back on the bandwagon, I simply stop when full. Now hubby thinks either I don't like it/not having a good time/disappointed with the food. He ends up saying things like, we don't go out that often (we do) so just enjoy your food and eat. Sometimes I want to scream, "I'VE BEEN ENJOYING MY FOOD. THAT'S WHY I LOOK THIS WAY." But I don't, I politely remind him that we are trying to be healthier and he apologizes.

So back to you, maybe warn your lunchmates that you are dieting. Ask if they would like to split and entree. Or, order what you want with a to go box and split it in half before you ever start eating. That way you can feel better about cleaning your plate and you get the bonus of taating it again later!

Last edited by HeatherMcG : 09-12-2008 at 01:47 PM.
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Old 09-12-2008, 02:34 PM   #3
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I don't know about you, but I have never liked telling people I was trying to lose weight or watching what I eat. The response from the non-dieting community was never good. I know it is great to voice this, but I think it is harder for some to really admit it. I know I have refused to eat and just said I am not hungry when I can not find something on the menu I can eat, but know I just have to hold it together for when I leave.

I have found a co-worker who is on a very tight diet due to a liver problem and I found we can split a lot of things. Since she needs to diet to live, she sticks to it better than me, but it helps to find one other person locally you can share food with. In my experiance, it should be a women since they have different dietary needs than a man.

Good Luck
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Old 09-12-2008, 02:56 PM   #4
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Smile we are soul sistahs, rachibach.....

it's called being unsure of yourself with a dose of people pleasing thrown in for good measure, sprinkle with a dash of social anxiety and you've got a diet buster every time!

I have had to wrestle with this for the past three months. From the moment I stepped off the plane I have been inundated with luncheon "dates", picnics, movie going (read jumbo sized popcorn), grilling out(read brats), just plain eating out... you get the picture. I swear you would think that people have nothing better to do than eat and eat and then eat some more! Whew!!

Well, my clothes still fit me, that's the good news, but I will say I would hate to have a physical right now. I am sure that my arteries are more clogged than GA-400 on Friday rush hour! What's a girl to do????

Don't beat yourself up about it. Do your best when you are out. Do even better when you can control things. And remind yourself "this too shall pass".

It will.......
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Old 09-13-2008, 11:52 PM   #5
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Thanks guys it feels good to know that I'm not the only one =). Unfortunately I did what I knew I would and ate all kinds of bad things today. My niece had those Doritos and Cheetos pack and I found myself grazing on them all day. And it's not like I can just throw them out to get it away from myself-she's 3 and doens't get dieting.

I was with a group of guys I didn't know to well and a couple of girls, so I don't think I would ever say "can't have that I'm dieting." I tell the girls-who insist I'm not fat and shouldn't be so strict/dieting. But I take this as a compliment and laugh it off. I'm kinda akward around guys and have that stupid hope that they just don't notice that I'm several sized bigger then the rest (haha, yeah they know). But I just don't want to like draw attention to the fact that I'm fat if that makes any sense?

But maybe next time I'll just cut it in half and wrap it up to go home-that sounds like it could work out.
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Old 09-14-2008, 12:49 AM   #6
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amandarose17 - good point on not telling people. I am a pretty open people, but tomorrow I will be faced with cake and ice cream and instead of announcing, "I can't eat that" ... I am going to go with "no thanks, I'm full"
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Old 09-14-2008, 01:38 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pamatga View Post
it's called being unsure of yourself with a dose of people pleasing thrown in for good measure, sprinkle with a dash of social anxiety and you've got a diet buster every time!
So true.

I as well have the co-workers who ALWAYS want to go out to lunch. Aside from it being bad for weightloss, it crunches my wallet. Whenever we're driving to the restaurant I'm looking on my blackberry to find what the healthy options. They usually give me a hard time when I order soup. I flat out tell em I'm trying to eat healthier and watch my calories. I get hassled about it alot with the "why????"s and "you don't need to watch calories" or "live a little" "it's just one day" *sigh*

It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't want to go out every frickin week.

On the burrito note...Chipotle has options for healthy(ier) choices if you're forced to go there. Borrito bowl or salad, half the rice, with chicken, no beans, salsa, corn ,lettuce, no sour cream (or ask for very very very very little) You'll be lookin at about 650 for calories, which is far superior to the normal burrito of 1100 or so. I find it helps to be knowledgeable of the situation before you get in it
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Old 09-14-2008, 08:39 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rachiebach View Post
I was with a group of guys I didn't know to well and a couple of girls, so I don't think I would ever say "can't have that I'm dieting." I tell the girls-who insist I'm not fat and shouldn't be so strict/dieting. But I take this as a compliment and laugh it off. I'm kinda akward around guys and have that stupid hope that they just don't notice that I'm several sized bigger then the rest (haha, yeah they know). But I just don't want to like draw attention to the fact that I'm fat if that makes any sense?
Look at how much you have lost already. You are not fat at all! Especially for your height, your weight is not even really considered overweight! (I know because I have the same height as you do) So don't think that at all.
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Old 09-15-2008, 11:47 PM   #9
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taragettingthin: thank you for saying that. It's one of those things that people keep telling me I'm not fat, but I just don't believe it. I'm not skinny by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm not nearly as big as I was. I mean serioulsy, I was looking at some old pics of me from my highest wieght...and yeah it just made me sad. So now I'm like "average" I guess. But I would LOVE to be thin. Just to get into a single digit pant size...sigh.

It will happen. Just going hardcore this week. Went to the gym today, plan to go tomorrow. Good times! But hey, it's a good lesson to teach myself: if I binge one weekend, I'll pay for it later. And even though the scale says I've gained, I refuse to change my ticker bc it will be goign back down to that weight shortly!
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Old 09-15-2008, 11:59 PM   #10
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I like the idea of saying, "no thanks, I'm full" instead of being blunt and saying you're on a diet. Because telling people you're on a diet is never a good thing. First, even if you're doing well, telling people about it might jinx it. Next, you know you'll get judged on it. Not right now. Not at the point where you say, "No thanks, I'm on a diet." But next week, when the cake is passed around the office and you've suddenly decided it's okay. (Doesn't matter how many sins they have, they'll still cast stones.)

So in that light, just like "I'm full", let's come up with an arsenal of handy phrases to have at the ready. I'll start with these:

"No thanks, I'm allergic to fried mozzarella sticks."
"Sorry! Salami and cheese subs are against my religion."
"The el grande burrito? You'll all thank me for passing that one up."
"Can't. I'm driving."
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Old 09-16-2008, 12:07 PM   #11
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yeah, i rarely tell people when im trying to lose weight because they always give me 190834792374 reasons why i should just drop it 'just this one time'. if people invite me to lunch or dinner, i always say something like, 'well im not that hungry, i had a big lunch/breakfast, but i'll go anyway and maybe get something small'

that way, if i dont finish, I know its because i purposely dont want to eat too much, but THEY think its because i ate before i got there!
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Old 09-16-2008, 12:17 PM   #12
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I love your excuses, hillsc!
My guy and I are just honest with our families about our dieting. That way when we go home to visit, everyone knows and they dont try to push unhealthy foods on us or go buy our favorite fatty dishes.
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Old 09-16-2008, 12:34 PM   #13
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social events are sooo hard. That's why I have one cheat day a week... but if I already had one for the week and I'm out with someone I'll just ask if they want to share something with me as I lie and say I'm not that hungry. If they aren't keen on it I just order something small. Often times I'll just have a protein shake before I head out to a restaurant to keep my hunger from dictating what I should order.

If you have a cheat day or cheat meal once a week it's easier to make the right choices on the other 6 days of the week.
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Old 09-16-2008, 02:21 PM   #14
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First of all *hugs* for being conscious of what is going on and trying to work with it/change it. That is such an enormously positive step in the right direction.

Second, I totally hear you. I live in a college town and even though I have graduated a bunch of my friends haven't so there are many opportunities to drink and go out. I have worked out a system with myself: If I want to go out and eat more than I usually would that's fine...as long as I balance it with a greater or equal number of calories burned in exercise. I am a very active person (read: I have a VERY active job and work out for at least 1/2 an hour a day) and so if I eat within my normal caloric range range I don't stress too much. However, if I know that I'm going to eat more or eat something "bad" like alcohol how much I allow myself is in direct proportion to how much I work out.

For example: On Saturday I had 3 glasses of wine, 3 pieces of pizza, and 5 wings. It was so much more than I have had in a long time. However, I hiked uphill for 2 hours and downhill for 1 and burned close to 1200 calories. I felt sick after eating that stuff, but at least I didn't do much damage, scale-wise.

I guess what I'm saying is that I find that if I have this sort of exchange program I am less inclined to overeat because it means I will have to spend more time working out. Time I could spend relaxing, talking to friends, or reading.

Best of luck and tons of

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Last edited by Sidheag : 09-16-2008 at 02:22 PM.
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Old 09-16-2008, 03:18 PM   #15
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I so hear you about making a decision while in the car to where ever you are going to eat and then getting there and completely forgetting.

I found one of the best things I did when I started to lose weight was the put reminders in place to keep me on track. So I have my goal weight as the background on my phone screen,I use it all the time, and every time I do I get reminded of what I am aiming for. I wear a bracelet which I made using two different colour beads, one for the number of Kgs I have lose and one for the number to go, I adjust the number of different colour beads as I loose more weight. I am right handed so I wear it on my right wrist, every time I reach for a chip or a cookie I see it and it reminds me not to graze endlessly. I am very good at setting goals and targets and thinking of how I can be healthy, but when I get to situations, like eating out, if I dont have something to remind me not to munch I wont.
Opps that was kind long, sorry, hope it helps.
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