It was depressing this morning to log back onto 3FC after a while and re-set my signature ticker from 159 to 167.
I've been gone for a while, mentally and pysically. Every friday i would weigh myself and put it on a chart. The last three fridays, however, i've ever forgot or been out of town and just wrote that i was maintaining. This morning i was shocked to discover i've gained 8 pounds. I knew I had been gaining, i could feel it in the way my clothes felt.
The last couple months i really let myself go. I crashed my body. I ended up with bronchitis and just feeling sick all the time. I drank almost non stop. I would go 45 hours without sleeping. I ate fast food all the time, somethind i usually do only once a month. I disrespected myself and let others do the same. I was doing poorly in my college classes....i was falling apart.
Looking back at my chart, my weight has fluctuated so much over the last year...and i'm right back where i started. I worked so hard to get my weight from 192 to 167 and now, a year later, i'm still at 167. i did lost weight this year, and it took a lot of effort to do it. But now, i feel like a failure that i just put it back on. This time last year I thought for sure that by now I would have met my goal.
Anywho, this is getting insanely long. But last monday, i started over, and I did really good all week. And i feel better than ever. I've never had so much energy!!! I'm excited!
So here's to a new beginning!