First off...LOVE the new avatar!!! Unfortunately she is a "fatophobic". They are all over, come in many sizes and degrees of "phobic". I am not defending her in any way shape of form...but at least she told you straight out. In this case..."It is HER...not you!!" This is truly her loss!!!
I have struggled with weight all my life...I have had huge weight swings (60 to 90 pounds) Once when I was at my lowest adult weight (126) I was dating a guy, he didn't know of my fat past. Then one day he found fat pics...in less than a week he was gone. He was afraid I would be fat again...I guess he was right. Looking back...I am glad he got out when he did.
You do realize that when you find "the one" she will have meet the approval of all you 3FC sisters!!!
I'm not dooming anyone to total b*tchdom. I did what you guys told me, just asked her straight up what was going on. She said that she thought I was good looking and sweet but she told me she couldn't deal with me being fat and was afraid of what would happen if I "let myself go." It's cool though, I've been rejected for 6 years now, that's not so much of a slump as it is a standard...hahaha, I'd hate break it now.
Good lord the expletives that would have come from my mouth if someone said that to me. It's one (albeit, very shallow) thing to not be attracted to someone because they're overweight but to reject them because they used to be??? One thing I will say is that girl definitely has some balls if she's willing to admit that. Whatever, she's an idiot. At least you found out early instead of having her come to this conclusion a few months into dating her.
And you've just had a some bad luck. You'll meet someone worth while in due time. Seriously...I still can't believe she said that. Most people could make up a better excuse than that...
Ahh I wasn't initially saying that you were dooming her to b*tchdom, but now that I see your reply, I must echo the sentiments of others: In b*tchdom may she be!!
That's just horrible and I'm sorry you were actually around someone whose priorities are way out of line. She will probably end up in a miserable state due to her shallow ways.
...I was going to try and tie this up with some sort of analogy or metaphor, but the creative juices just ain't flowin. Any way, I am glad that you seem to be rising above this. That makes me reeeeeal happy.
Griff - you rock. I've been following this story line for a few days now...it's unbelieveable that someone would not fall in love with you (I must speak for all us girls here at 3FC and hope not to step on toes when I say I think we all wish there were more men out there like you !!!) In any case - clearly this girl is not a very nice person and you are. Bottom line....you are a better person than she will very likely ever be able to become.
I seriously can't believe that there are people out there like her. Ugh.
If I had a dollar for every time someone said something like that to me and low and behold they are now struggling with their weight (or lead otherwise unhealthy lives), I could afford a personal trainer AND a massage therapist at my beck and call.
Honestly, I don't believe her. What a lame answer. I still maintain that she was using you and is also insecure.
I'm not dooming anyone to total b*tchdom. I did what you guys told me, just asked her straight up what was going on. She said that she thought I was good looking and sweet but she told me she couldn't deal with me being fat and was afraid of what would happen if I "let myself go."
First, and most importantly - Yuck! What ever happened to people treating others the way they would want to be treated? I think all of the ladies here agree that you are good looking and sweet - so she is right about SOMEthing - but you are CERTAINLY better off without a female who has that kind of prejudice.
Secondly (and this one's for me) - does there happen to be a secret hangout for nice guys in Jacksonville that I just don't know about yet?? Do you all go underground or something? I think there must be secret meetings - and a handshake, too! But you don't have to share those...I'll settle for map coordinates!
Wow I've also been following this thread and I felt I had to comment now. I totally thought the girl was playing hard to get, and would never have thought that she would tell u that she's afraid of you regaining the weight. What a punk! Griff, u have some damn confidence to be able to not only ask out this girl, but to ask her why she said no. Good for you. and remember its better that u know here true colors now, rather than to have to find out how shallow she is later. damn some ppl just suck. now im in a bad mood
What a dreadful person!!! I agree with the other gals- I condemn her to B*^chdom!!!! You are a great catch, and thank goodness you found out what a dreadful person she is. Promise us that you won't "settle" for any girl. You are every bit as deserving of a healthy relationship as anyone who was born skinny as a rail!
Good luck!
Maybe you are coming across too desperate, too "Mr. nice guy" I say back off, let her came to you. Some girls (myself included) prefer to be the pursuer.
Originally, I wasn't going to comment cause I don't 'get' girls either...or guys...or even myself sometimes! But I have to join in on sending this chick to B*tchdom! What nerve! I have to hand it to her, she has a brass pair, I tell ya. Pathetic! You just put her out of your mind. You're smart, sweet, funny, ambitious, and just freaking cute! Any girl would be lucky to have you. Believe me, karma will come back and bit her in the ***! Everything hits the floor over time, if you know what I mean. And I bet she'll balloon after a couple of years and you'll still be hot. No doubt.
Thanks Kate, random pictures are usually the bestest. Sorry to hear that that happened to you and your friend though, some people are just horrible. MSTeacher, I don't think there's a secret cache of us "nice guys" anywhere, sorry to tell ya that. There's a lot of em out there though, you'll be lucky enough to find one one day. And I agree with what you guys are saying, I never thought of it, but it probably did take a lot for her to say that to my face. Whatever, it's over now, I'm not gonna worry about it too much, thanks for all the advice and kind words though ladies...you'll definitely have to approve of any girl I decide to date!!!
*I* would look at you and just be filled with awe and pride and support so that you continue doing the awesome thing you are doing...
How could she DARE "not handle the fact that you were fat"... wow... I read your original post and that idea never even ENTERED my mind!!!
"Let yourself go"... oh NOOOOO god FORBID!!! Looks like you found a girl where Looks are NUMBER ONE... guess what, kid--- looks fade. B*TCHY and IGNORANT stick around forever! ugh!!!!
I am so offended by her audacity!!! And so charmed by your cavalier and gentlemanly reaction to it. I woulda let her HAVE it... verbally, of course... if I heard that from someone!! "sorry, you look HOT now.. but you used to be fat and ugly... and I won't stick around if you go back to that" Looks-obsessed ignorant wretches!
Last edited by BrandNewJen; 04-09-2008 at 08:49 PM.
She'll need the 3FC stamp of approval!
Good lord the expletives that would have come from my mouth if someone said that to me. It's one (albeit, very shallow) thing to not be attracted to someone because they're overweight but to reject them because they used to be???
One thing I will say is that girl definitely has some balls if she's willing to admit that. Whatever, she's an idiot. At least you found out early instead of having her come to this conclusion a few months into dating her. 
Any way, I am glad that you seem to be rising above this. 
That makes me reeeeeal happy. 
But I have to join in on sending this chick to B*tchdom! What nerve! I have to hand it to her, she has a brass pair, I tell ya. Pathetic! You just put her out of your mind. You're smart, sweet, funny, ambitious, and just freaking cute! Any girl would be lucky to have you. Believe me, karma will come back and bit her in the ***! Everything hits the floor over time, if you know what I mean. And I bet she'll balloon after a couple of years and you'll still be hot. No doubt. 
