[CherryBlossom]

Ahh being fat and in college...

Let me just say I suck at college and I'll probably drop out at the end of this year (my freshmen year!) but that's because of a lot of personal reasons.

Let me tell you...I thought getting made fun of ended in middle school. Well know.

I commute to school and sometimes it takes forever to find a parking spot. And when I do, I have to climb up 3 flights of stairs so I'm not late. By the time I get to class I'm out of breath...a lot of people are actually. But when I am, I always get made fun of. Literally, I hear people cracking jokes about the sweaty fat girl.

I thank God everyday I decided not to live on campus.

And I can definitely relate to being invisible. I see these boys look at these beautiful girls with great bodies, and I know they'd never look at me like that. I see how they're kinda disappointed when I walk into a room. I try to be friendly and make conversation, but get brushed off.

Not to get off topic, but I've always wanted to ask other fat chicks this...have you ever had a feeling a guy was afraid to look you in the eye because he thought that would be showing interest? The preppy boys with shaggy hair always seemed uncomfortable around me like "Oh no, I better not look at her I don't want her to fall in love with me!"

[rockstar87]

Originally Posted by CherryBlossom

Not to get off topic, but I've always wanted to ask other fat chicks this...have you ever had a feeling a guy was afraid to look you in the eye because he thought that would be showing interest? The preppy boys with shaggy hair always seemed uncomfortable around me like "Oh no, I better not look at her I don't want her to fall in love with me!"

Yup. Well, not so much "look me in the eye" b/c I'm sorta a tomboy now, but in high school I was more of a girlie girl. Ironically, I had more guy friends in high school. Anyway, I've had a few situations where guys are either afraid to spend too much "one on one" time with you since, obviously, you're fat so it means you're bound to fall in love with them... Obviously. Didn't you know that because we have a little extra weight our hormones means any member of the opposite sex with a pulse we'll obviously be interested in? And I've had people say things like "oh yeah, I figured you liked me in first year". Why? Why did you "figure" that? Because we were friends? Because we hung out a lot? Yeah...Don't flatter yourself.

To be fair though, sometimes I do wonder if I'm just paranoid and that by acting friendly around a guy I just met makes me seem interested...but that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with being overweight.

[JasonsLea]

Originally Posted by rockstar87

Plus (no judgment please ), I fooled around with my good guy friend from high school at the end of first semester and he was more drunk than me and I know these things happen and whatever, move on with your life. But I always kinda wonder if he would've been like...repulsed had he been sober enough to realize it? I don't make a habit of this kind of stuff, I swear :$. But the insecurities definitely came out in the aftermath of that err...incident.

Girl, we don't judge here! I've had that experience, except neither one of us was drunk.....though I wish I was. Basically, I got played. We stayed friends and all but I still hate myself (even more) to this day.

[JasonsLea]

Originally Posted by CherryBlossom

I commute to school and sometimes it takes forever to find a parking spot. And when I do, I have to climb up 3 flights of stairs so I'm not late. By the time I get to class I'm out of breath...a lot of people are actually. But when I am, I always get made fun of. Literally, I hear people cracking jokes about the sweaty fat girl.

I thank God everyday I decided not to live on campus.

Oh man, I'm afraid that's going to happen to me if I start going to college. I'm just really paranoid.

Originally Posted by CherryBlossom

And I can definitely relate to being invisible. I see these boys look at these beautiful girls with great bodies, and I know they'd never look at me like that. I see how they're kinda disappointed when I walk into a room. I try to be friendly and make conversation, but get brushed off.

Not to get off topic, but I've always wanted to ask other fat chicks this...have you ever had a feeling a guy was afraid to look you in the eye because he thought that would be showing interest? The preppy boys with shaggy hair always seemed uncomfortable around me like "Oh no, I better not look at her I don't want her to fall in love with me!"

Ugh, I get that all the time.

[jitterfish]

I hate that feeling of being the fattest one in the class/bar. I can remember sitting in class studying nutrition and the prof talking about fat and stuff and feeling so completely self conscious.

Now though I'm the teacher so not only do I have the whole fat thing going on, I have everyone's attention, all eyes really are on me! But through losing weight I've come to the realisation finally that when I think everyone is looking at me and thinking I'm so fat - its my brain not everyone else getting negative.

[BrandNewJen]

OMG- Cherry--- you are SOOOOO beautiful!!! I never saw your avatar before- holy COW!!!!! I'm jealous.

As for school--- I LOVED college. And I was a size 20. But I never hooked up with anyone, never partied that much, didn't do drugs- made it to all my classes and graduated with a 3.9GPA. I think if I was skinny and fit and totally into that dating, screwing, partying scene... maybe I wouldn't have been so good at school? So I kinda thank myself for being heavy and not getting into that stuff... it helped me out in teh longrun.

I was LUCKY though--- my freshman year in the dorms I met a GREAT group of people (not fat either, lol) who also were like me: didn't really drink that often, didn't do drugs, didn't party in the clubs... kinda dorky but SOOOO much fun. We would hang out in the dorms- I had a BLAST with them. And I DID have a boyfriend in college--- he ended up being my husband. But I didn't meet him on campus- I have a VERY low opinion of the 20-25 year old male age group based on college. And high school... and life.

I used to have to hike up flights of stairs for class--- I would make sure I would get their early enough so that once I was at the top, I'd sneak into a bathroom stall and stay there 'til my breathing got normal again and I looked semi-presentable. Pathetic, huh?

[griffogrubb]

Okay, I'm just apologizing now, but I'm gonna rant a little bit. Guys like the one's you ladies are describing really piss me off. If they're not gonna take a second look at you because you look different, then screw them. They're gonna miss out on a lot of great people and relationships because they're being judgmental a**holes. If they're gonna act like that, you guys don't need them anyway; you're better off without them. I've seen both sides of the spectrum when it comes to people, and when people make fun of fat people in front of me I tell em off. I don't condone it and they have no idea what it's like to be that way, how much it hurts to hear those kinds of words. As for guys thinking you're in love with them, screw em, tell them to get over themselves. Any guy would be lucky to have any girl on this site and if they're too stupid to realize it-let them chase the conceited, cold-hearted b****es.

[BrandNewJen]

I love you Griffo.

[SoulBliss]

Griffo, you kick @$$ in so many ways.

[lola06]

griffogrubb, I want you to teach a class, seriously! I would love to see you speaking to a few youth camps and programs, just telling your story and the perspective you have now as a result of your experience. Your perspective is so on point, and it really means a lot to hear the opinion of a man in the situation that most women find themselves in. But given the power dynamic in our society, your words pack a different kind of punch.

I'm not in college anymore, but I loved my college days, even at a size 22. I was always active (I even taught a dance class), had a great group of friends, and I never allowed my scale to dictate what I wanted to do in life. I live in New York City and some of that college scene stuff does filter into post college life., just to warn you all...lol

If I could make any suggestions to the ladies I would say:
1. Go on a serious media diet. My first two years of college I was really re-defining who I was, and I didn't watch tv or read magazines unless they were political in nature or National Geographic or something. It made a major impact on how I felt about myself.
2. A lot of people mentioned the way all of the guys check out the "skinny tan girls", but I would encourage you to figure out why is the guy such a prize? Why does the guy get to determine what's beautiful and what's not? No man can determine such things without the complicit behavior of the women who reinforce such values. It's almost like it doesn't matter who the guy is, he has all of the power so he gets to choose. Let it go.
3. Figure out what those "skinny tan girls" represent for you? I mean what does it mean to get attention? Why do you need it and what does it do for you? What do you need that you're not getting.

I didn't mean to go on like this, but it's hard to watch and read your stories, I know it's hard. It's not easy wanting and feeling like you're not enough and letting someone else determine your value and worth.

Good Luck

[Lovely]

Originally Posted by CherryBlossom

Not to get off topic, but I've always wanted to ask other fat chicks this...have you ever had a feeling a guy was afraid to look you in the eye because he thought that would be showing interest? The preppy boys with shaggy hair always seemed uncomfortable around me like "Oh no, I better not look at her I don't want her to fall in love with me!"

I thought I was being crazy thinking that myself! Oh I'm not alone!!! They either think that or "Oh no... she's fat. I think that's contagious. To be safe I won't even acknowledge her existence." First of all.. they're never really that cute, plus they end up being conceited. Gross. I always wanted to say "Don't worry, sweetheart. I don't think you're attractive, either. Plus you bore me."

And yet again, Griffo comes along to kick some arse!

[rockstar87]

Originally Posted by griffogrubb

Okay, I'm just apologizing now, but I'm gonna rant a little bit. Guys like the one's you ladies are describing really piss me off. If they're not gonna take a second look at you because you look different, then screw them. They're gonna miss out on a lot of great people and relationships because they're being judgmental a**holes. If they're gonna act like that, you guys don't need them anyway; you're better off without them. I've seen both sides of the spectrum when it comes to people, and when people make fun of fat people in front of me I tell em off. I don't condone it and they have no idea what it's like to be that way, how much it hurts to hear those kinds of words. As for guys thinking you're in love with them, screw em, tell them to get over themselves. Any guy would be lucky to have any girl on this site and if they're too stupid to realize it-let them chase the conceited, cold-hearted b****es.

Aww. You're my hero. Haha.

[Smagash]

So, firstly hi to every one i am new, and now that out of the way lets see if i can add to the conversation.

if some one is not going to make you feel comfortable around them, in the case of people always looking for a way out of one on one time, then in terms of boyfriend/girlfriend, these are not the people you really want to see.

The worst thing i think, about being fat in college is people generally expect less of you, and not even consciously, but with out meaning to or knowing they did it, people lower there expectation of you as a person because you are fat, and that has been the hardest obstacle to overcome in college.

and @ cherry, what BrandNewJen said, your face could stop a crowd.

and in terms of college, i wouldn't trade my time in the dorms for anything, and i can honestly saw i would be in much worse shape mentally and much more depressed and lonely if i was commuting. I have made most of my friends in the dorms, and the few people i know who commute have friends only through there job on campus and want to move onto campus.

[Taylor86]

I totally understand....

And why why must they make those desks so small!!!!

[JasonsLea]

Griffo ~ I'm totally crushing on you right now!

Taylor ~ I've been asking that since middle school!