I know this is off topic, but I really need some advice, and my friends aren't being very helpful...
I joined an online dating site about 2 1/2 weeks ago... I was only going to do it for 1 month, because it costs too much. I haven't had much luck at all, which is okay, because I really wasn't expecting to, I just though "maybe" I'd find a good guy who didn't mind the fact that I'm fat. I've been communicating with a few guys, but recently they all "closed" our communications... - There's this one guy, will call him "Joe" for now, I was "matched" with in the begining. He started communication with me (he's been the only guy who actually approached me, all the other guys I had to make the first move), and we've conversed for a while. There's one problem. He has CP, and is in a wheelchair. I must be a horrible person, because I don't care that he's in a wheelchair, but I would be slightly embarrassed... I don't know where these feelings are coming from. I work in the medical profession so I deal with people in wheelchairs all the time, and thats never made me think any differently about them... But for some reason, pictureing myself dating someone in a wheelchair is bothering me... WHY? I would really like to know.
Yesterday I "closed" my communitcation with Joe, because I convinced myself that the distance between us is too far... Which really isn't much of an excuse... I've felt so horrible ever since... Today I got a message from him saying that he thought we had great potential and would like me to reconsider. This is really pulling at my heart...
He's not anywhere close to the kind of guy I pictured myself with. But on the other hand... I'm 21, never had a boyfriend, and am at a point in my life where I would love to find that "special someone".
My friends aren't real excepting of this... They think that I shouldn't "Settle for anything less then my dream man" and I "should wait until I go to school, and see who I meet there".
To add to the complications, I'm having strong feelings for a guy-friend of mine. However he's a couple years younger, so there's that not-so-much age difference but maturity difference... And he's my best friends cousin, and I don't want to take a chance on risking my friendship with her just for a boyfriend... AND last month, my friend confronted me about "flirting" with him(even though I didn't think I was, and didn't mean to), and had a hissy-fit because I was "choosing him over her" (even though I wasn't), so that right there proved I would lose her friendship if I dated him... Thats when I decided to join the online dating thing... And my friends have been CONSTANTLY harrassing me about ever since, telling me its "stupid" and "crazy"...
My one bit of advice here is to try not to think of a date as "finding a boyfriend." It's just one date, just one evening. Have you even met Joe yet? If not, my advice would be to meet up some time. Really, it's not a big deal -- he's not going to show up with an engagement ring or something. Go have fun!!
As for your friends, it seems like you know what you want to do, and you're not letting their attitudes affect you. Obviously anyone here is going to tell you to listen your yourself and do what YOU want, not them.
Ya, I agree with ShrinkingLizzy, you may be stressing out unnecessarily about whether you and this person have serious long term potential etc because of how you imagine him being in a wheelchair. But you haven't really gotten to know him or seen him in person yet, maybe it wouldn't be as big a deal as you're thinking that it will! My last boyfriend had a prosthetic leg, and there were definitely positive things about it in addition to a few negatives. You never know, maybe you'll find that his experience has given him a perspective that you could be attracted to / admire / relate to.
Of course, if you decide to meet, be safe and do it in a public place and make sure you've got your transportation covered etc =)
I have to agree with the above lovely ladies. You haven't even met the guy yet! Give him an honest chance. It's just a meeting/date. Try it out & have fun.
That "don't settle for anything less than your dream man" nonsense is what gets people into trouble. No one is perfect. And the men in my dreams usually end up running after me with tentacle arms & chainsaws, so I think they're overrated.
If you felt that it would become aukward for you then why try it with him. Remember you actually dont have any obligation to anyone, wheelchair or not.
Is it possible you may have liked him because he was the only one that made the 1st move.
Are you worried about going on a 1st date and continuing to see him out of pity/or as you want to meet someone, even if there is no chemistry?
If you feel like you actaully like the bloke, and the distance isnt too much of a problem, them meet up. Your only young, like myself, so looking for 'the one' shouldnt be on the agenda, but meeting people to work out the type of person you will be better suited to to end up with.
Ive done the online dating thing a fair bit, just be really careful and dont take what the male species says to heart.
Also try plentyoffish, its a free dating site that works really well!
What about this guy-friend of yours? If you have a thing for him, you should probably figure that out first. It's hard to date if you're not over someone else. The feelings may not just disappear...
It's just a date. You might end up having so much fun, you don't even notice the wheelchair. Or it could be completely awkward, but luckily, after a cup of coffee, you get to say "It was nice to meet you," and then leave!
OT - But I really need some advice... (dating)
Give him an honest chance. It's just a meeting/date. Try it out & have fun. 
