I can definitely understand and relate. We all know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the confidence and self esteem are important. But doesn't it just suck when a girl that isn't even that amazing, gets all the attention? Men can be so obvious and oblivious at the same time--which is why I ALWAYS say, never look to anyone, especially a man, for your SELF esteem. But back to the point, I can't stand being in a room and then "that girl" comes in and they all have to kick themselves not to droll... I wouldn't mind being that girl, just once.
Thanks you guys! I know that it is all about confidence and beauty within, etc. but at the end of the day, it is what it is, you know? Some people are externally beautiful and some are not and it sucks to be "not". The suggestions on this thread have been great and I am working on a better "me" starting today.
You know, I never have been "that" girl, although I would like to be. However, I knew an "it" girl, and she was homely, yet all the guys wanted her. On the other hand, I had another friend who was stunning, yet she had very poor self confidence and didn't recieve much attention from guys. I'm firmly convinced that what the previous posters have said is true. It's all about confidence and who you see yourself as. If you "know" you are special, others will see that and be drawn to it.
Now, to practice what I ! *sigh*
Confidence is definitely part of it. As others have said, if a person who "isn't that special-looking to start with" can make heads turn, it definitely can't be due to her physical appearance only, right--since she doesn't look that special. It won't work on everyone (you can ever please everyone in the world, and that's not only in a physical way), but it's part of the deal. Besides, I know plenty of guys in my life who won't blink at a "beautiful model" in a magazine, but will drool on more apparently plain-looking girls: they're not perfect and airbrushed and all, but they're lively and confident instead. That's sure more attractive.
I was an overweight child, and lost the weight at 16. I was completely unprepared for the reaction I elicited. All of a sudden, men were opening doors for me (for some reason, common courtesy doesn't extend to the fat girls), and I literally had traffic stop just so I could cross the road. It's a really nice feeling while you have it, and it hurts intensely when you gain some of that old weight back and you instantly become invisible. As I've gotten older I've learned that it's so empty to get your validation from other people's reactions towards you. I've also learned that I wield a lot more power than I think, cause if I come across as confident, people seem not to notice that I've still got a bit of weight to lose. I promise it makes a difference!
Look at people like Beyonce, and Jennifer Lopez. Now these are not skinny girls! But guys absolutely love them! I think it's cause they know how to work with what they've got. If Beyonce didn't have the butt she has she'd look ridiculous singing about "shakin my jelly"! I love some jelly And I think we have an unrealistic idea of what those "beautiful people" really look like. Take a good look at some of those envied women when they're without make up, photoshop and a wonderbra. I promise they look a lot more average. It's all optical illusion!
At 180 pounds I had no confidence in myself and so was over looked
At 112 pounds I was waif painfully thin but could fit my non-existent backside into size 2 pants....guys were slightly more interested because I was slightly more confident.
At the 145 pounds I currently am I have grown into myself and who I am and I know that I'm a strong, athletic person whose never going to be that stick again and I revel in my hips and bum and killer runner legs! And even when I am out with my boyfriend I still get hit on.
I agree with the girls who have said confidence is the key...that and being comfortable in your own skin. If you can't look at yourself and find you attractive...why should anyone else?
I noticed when I lost weight that I had the experience of women giving me dirty looks and men opening doors. I've managed to gain my weight back, but Im still getting the dirty looks/opened doors. Part of me is starting to believe it's a confidence AND beauty thing.
I look the same. The only thing that changed about my face was smaller cheeks. But, recently...I decided Im sexy. It took all of 25 years to hit the point of thinking Im sexy, but I finally hit it. Maybe its, I think I look good so other people think I look good too?
I think you can be "The Hot Girl" at any size. A cute outfit and some confidence makes everyone look better. No matter what size they are.
*sigh* I, too, empathize with those of you who've longed to be "the hot girl." Something I've realized very recently is that I have serious insecurity issues. I've never had confidence at any size, and I've been everything from 125 pounds up to around 205. Looking back, I realize that I have looked pretty damn good in the past. People have always told me that I have a pretty face, but that doesn't make me feel any better when I feel like I look crappy in all of my clothes. At 173 now, I only get attention from gross old redneck men and people who don't even speak English.... A couple of weeks ago I was out at Wild Wing's and saw a guy I had a huge crush on last summer, who actually showed interest in me back then (when I weighed 150)... Now he doesn't even give me a second look. It really sucks to realize too late that you should have had more confidence in yourself. I just don't currently feel like I have anything to be confident in. I don't even want to see people now that I haven't seen since last summer.... I tell myself now that if I were just back to the size I was last summer, I'd be more confident and feel so much better about myself, but I know that I'm wrong. I don't know what to do to develop confidence. All I've ever seen is what's wrong with me, which I guess was either the cause of or the result of having suffered from an eating disorder for three years. I have no clue.
I have learned that my self-confidence comes from exercising right and eating healthy....AND it is true, you do get more attention when your self-confidence is higher. It's just getting that confidence up...that's the hard part.
i dont no mabe its just me but even big i feel hott i just want to lose weight because i want to dress with a little less if u get my drift but really i am hot i turn heads being this bug uts just all about how u carry urself todasy men like women with meat on there bones
i realized the other day that i had a couple of guys calling me that i finally had to program their numbers so that i could avoid talking to them when i didnt want to. then i realized, thats what normal girls have to do. when i presented this idea to my mother she said 'not normal girls, allie... PRETTY girls have to deal with that.'
it was a bizarre and happy epiphany.
im not being conceited because im certainly not a stick figure (and i never will be), sorry if its coming off that way.
i completely relate but mind over matter "if you think you are the hot girl you will be the hot girl" we all do it but comparing yourself does nothing but make us feel bad about ourselves - focus on how well you are doing or how cute you look in a particular outfit and the hotness will just come....
However, I knew an "it" girl, and she was homely, yet all the guys wanted her. On the other hand, I had another friend who was stunning, yet she had very poor self confidence and didn't recieve much attention from guys.
I'm firmly convinced that what the previous posters have said is true. It's all about confidence and who you see yourself as. If you "know" you are special, others will see that and be drawn to it. 
! *sigh*
