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Weight and your Significant Other

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Old 05-05-2007, 03:25 PM   #1
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Default Weight and your Significant Other

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight?

Is he "normal" or also overweight?

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up?

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life?

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands?

Do you ever feel self-conscious?

(I know these are really personal questions, so I understand if someone doesn't want to respond to some/any of them).

Thank you for your honesty and openness.

Hope everyone is having a good day,

nineteen
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Old 05-05-2007, 04:35 PM   #2
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Hey there Ninteen,
I hope you're well. I'll answer some of your questions.

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight?
Hmmm I know my husband wants me to be healthy but he wants me to be happy, and he knows I will be a lot happier after I've shed a few pounds.

Is he "normal" or also overweight?
He is only slightly overweight... he would probably just have to jog for a month(maximum) eat how he is now and he'd be back at normal weight.

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up?
Yes, we talk about my weight but only when I bring it up and want to share something or want a shoulder to cry on. He did a sports degree and he's so supportive and caring. Even he sometimes has a sit down with me and complains that he's gotten lazy or that he is going to start cutting down on certain foods and what not.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life?
LIGHTS OFF please! (lol enough said I think)

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands?
No he never judges... I know what he's like... he likes a lady who's curvy and I know he loves me all the same. If I was severly underweight I know he would be just as worried and caring in trying to get me to put on weight.

Do you ever feel self-conscious?
All the time. Only when I have my clothes off, but one thing I noticed that I do is when I'm sitting down always have something on my lap to cover my stomach... thats a place I am very very self conscious about even in front of my husband.
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Old 05-05-2007, 04:45 PM   #3
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Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight?
I think he secretly wants me to be smaller, but has never said you need to lose weight'

Is he "normal" or also overweight?
he is normal, always working out, he's a marine and has to stay fit

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up?
we talk about my weight every day because i bring it up. since i've started losing weight i mention whether i've lost a lb or not and he either says yeh or don't worry about it

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life?
he wants it more, because i am prancing around in a lot less, but since i lost the weight, i am not too much in the mood.

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands?
he totally understands, he has been through all the ups and downs

Do you ever feel self-conscious?
i do when we go out with other couples, especially when the wives are much smaller, but then again, who doesn't
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Old 05-05-2007, 04:54 PM   #4
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Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight?
I think it is a balance. He wants me to feel good about myself, to wear skirts, dresses and let him take pictures. That means I have to feel good about myself and my body. I know it has been tough for him, since he also loves eating out, eating unhealthy foods, and drinking, all things that I like doing on occaision, but have been trying to cut out.

Is he "normal" or also overweight?
He has some stomach pudge, but all my healthy eating is beginning to show around his midsection as well. Now all my exercise is beginning to rub off too. He is afraid we will go hiking and I'll leave him in the dust.

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up?
It is definitely something I bring up (maybe a little too much). When I started dieting we had to sit down to think of meals that were healthy for me and fit his extremely picky tastes. I have also promised that when I get down to X number of pounds, we will go buy the cute dress he saw at J Crew, that I will wear shorter skirts, more bikinis etc. It gives him a bit of a personal stake in supporting me.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life?
More self confidence is always good in bed There are also a few "riskay" rated things I have promised him when I lose the weight.

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands?
I was heavy when we met and heavy when we started dating. He says I'm hot no matter what. :P

Do you ever feel self-conscious?
Of course. It is my own doing, though, and not his.
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Old 05-05-2007, 05:01 PM   #5
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seranab & 50lbs2go~

Thank you both so much for your responses.

It's nice to hear that you both have loving men in your lives. There are a lot of shallow men in this world, but there are also a lot of really good guys out there, too.
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Old 05-05-2007, 05:03 PM   #6
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hi romeos girly

oh and another question for all of you....

how long have you been together?
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Old 05-05-2007, 06:07 PM   #7
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my answers are about my ex boyfriend
Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight? he absolutely did not like it. he didnt say it outright but he definitly tried to sabotoge and was not supportive

Is he "normal" or also overweight? he was overweight, not terribly but definitly chubby

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up? i would talk about it, and he would dismiss it

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life? he was a chubby chaser, thats all im gonna say about that

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands? he got mad/jealous when i started to lose weight, i think he didnt like that i would be getting more attention, maybe thought it was threatening

Do you ever feel self-conscious? always
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Old 05-05-2007, 06:10 PM   #8
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Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight? He doesnt care eathier way, he is proud of me for exersing and everything though!

Is he "normal" or also overweight? He is normal...but if he doesnt lay off the greasy food and soda I am worried that he is going to get bigger...but he walks around 12 hours a night at work, so he does get plenty of walking in lol

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up? I always talk to him about it..im always like "oh I can't wait for this big stomach to go away" lol and I just tell him that im really excited about loosing and everything

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life? It really hasent yet

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands? He understands

Do you ever feel self-conscious? yeah pretty much!
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Old 05-05-2007, 06:29 PM   #9
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Hi,
this really made me think about my relationship...
1. Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight? Yes. He tries to be supportive, but I find it offensive when I didn't ask for his help.
2. Is he "normal" or also overweight? Normal. He has been the same size since we met 11 years ago. He will be the same size when he leaves this earth.
3. Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it an "non-issue" and never brought up? It gets brought up, I'm pretty sensitive about the topic, so I don't like to talk about it, but its out there. Sometimes he asks me "do you really think you should have that (icecream, cake, wine...)?"
4. How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life? To be brutally honest we haven't had relations in about a year. I think I'm gross...I sweat more, I'm all stretchy, I couldn't stand him to touch me right now.
5. Do you feel he judges you for your weight or do you think he understands? I get the distinct impression that he thinks I'm lazy, and I think he's embarrased when we go out together.
6. Do you ever feel self-concious? Oh, that's my middle name. But its funny how I can feel fine around my girlfriends and just like crap around any man these days.
7. We have been married for 9.5 years. I was 120 lbs when we said I do. 160 after D1, and 180 after D2...the rest is history.

wow.

karwie
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Old 05-05-2007, 06:39 PM   #10
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Quote:
hi romeos girly

oh and another question for all of you....

how long have you been together?
Hi Nineteen!

We have been dating for almost two years. We have known each other, though, for nine. (Wow I can't believe either of those numbers. Time sure flies!)
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Old 05-05-2007, 06:43 PM   #11
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Watchhershrink, that seems like a really tough relationship. He seems like a jerk. Are you still with the guy?
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Old 05-05-2007, 06:52 PM   #12
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no we arent together, and his behavior regarding this specific issue contributed to my leaving. he's one of those who is always right no matter what (making me always wrong/stupid) so i booted him after a fair warning and request that he change his attitude.
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Old 05-05-2007, 10:26 PM   #13
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Good questions! My answers:

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight? He was actually against it; he's always supported me doing what I want with my life, but he was definitely worried that I'd get carried away and become obsessed with numbers (there have been experiences with family members in the past that have shaped this worry). Now that I'm halfway to my goal, his mind is at ease, because he sees that I'm approaching this in a healthy manner.

Is he "normal" or also overweight? He has 15% body fat. He thinks he's "fat", but he's just a little soft in all the right areas! *purrrrrrrr*

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up? We founded this relationship on the principle of open communication, so we discuss the weight thing a lot. It keeps me honest, leads to lots of support, and it keeps him "in the loop" so that he doesn't have to worry about me.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life? No change, thankfully; everything is still red hot. The fact that I can fit into some of my sexier "special wear" again is a definite bonus, though!

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands? I can't recall a time when he's ever judged ANYONE for their weight (except himself). I never feel judged.

Do you ever feel self-conscious? Not around my boyfriend; he makes me feel like a goddess! (I'm very self-conscious in other situations, though. Like around the model-thin HR/PR ladies at work...)

how long have you been together? A year and a few months, with many many many more to come.
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Old 05-05-2007, 10:26 PM   #14
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Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight? He wants us both to lose weight. He wants me to because he knows I will feel better about myself.

Is he "normal" or also overweight? He is also overweight, but not as overweight as I am. Plus, I've always found that its different for guys. I think society makes women feel less for being overweight whereas the guys are not so much focused on.

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up? We are always talking about our weights together. We talk about what we eat everyday and we were exercising together. We need to get back into doing that.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life? It did when I was heavier. Now we are back into a groove.

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands? He understands completely. He always says that I'm the most beautiful woman in the world no matter what.

Do you ever feel self-conscious? Yeah, at times. Not so much in the bedroom anymore, but sometimes I'll think about it. Mostly when I'm out in public or when I see pictures of myself.
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Old 05-05-2007, 10:30 PM   #15
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We've been together for eight years this September. We will celebrate our
3rd wedding anniversary also in September.
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