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Old 03-21-2007, 12:43 PM   #1
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Unhappy I think I've reached the end of my rope...

Any of you ever get the feeling that you just plain don't know what else to do?

Due to some issues stemming from depression (I've had multiple diagnosis over the years, all through college), everything seems to be falling apart around me. I don't want to place blame on anything or blame "depression" for any of my actions...but I also know it all goes back to that eventually.

Now that I've started to lose weight, I've become obsessed with it. (Partly from self-esteem issues and from seeing my success over the past few weeks). But I barely eat (from past posts, I just have NO appetite), I'm exercising regularly (5 times a week - which, when youre not eating, is a lot of work), I'm constantly exhausted, etc. It's starting to effect my work when I'm just too tired/sad/just dont care/etc to come to work. All of that, along with other self-destructive behaviors and thoughts, is sending me into a tail spin.

I've already been through the whole medication thing...it just never worked for me (I've tried everything). I have a doctors appointment today (if they'll give me time away from work), but I've already been through this routine before - the doctors always tell me the same thing.

Anyone else out there been here before? Been on a downward cycle that seems to never go away no matter how much you try to "fix" it? I have a few friends and family that know what's going on and are, of course, concerned...what they dont know is how scared I am for myself.

Any thoughts?

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. - English Proverb

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Old 03-21-2007, 12:55 PM   #2
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You have to eat whether you have an "appetite" or not. Otherwise you're starving yourself, and that's not good. It will make your body LESS able to lose weight, not more.

Put yourself on a schedule with planned amounts of food at each meal and then eat it. Unless you are getting proper nutrients, there's just no telling what's happening in your body. More drugs won't help.

You say you've tried everything--well, try this then! It won't hurt you to make yourself eat within a set calorie level.

Hang in there!

"My religion is kindness." --His Holiness the Dalai Lama

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Old 03-21-2007, 12:58 PM   #3
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Ok...I think you should read this book by Dr. Platt. I keep telling people on here about it but I think that he has some great advise. He has a website where you can do a little lifestyle evaluation and you can even order his book. But you need to get 'balanced' and when that happens everything else should fall into place. Weight loss the depression should disappear...but go to this site check it out and let me know what you think.


Help I am a thin chick trapped in a fat body...

(one carrot for every 10 pounds)
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Old 03-21-2007, 01:31 PM   #4
Chuggin' along...
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Location: middle of nowhere, Northwest Florida
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msnewbooty, hang in there! I really can't personally offer much advice on depression, but perhaps some of the people in the "Depression and Weight Issues" section of the forum can.

Perhaps a group plan, where you go to weekly meeting (Weight Watchers etc.) could help you gain a "healthy" perspective on weight loss and exercise? Have you tried any of these? Or a one-on-one nutritionist?

As JayEll said, if you are eating too little your body will go into "starvation mode" and will hold onto every calorie it gets. Actually having no appetite when you're not eating much is a sign that you are in this starvation mode. Without knowing your height or metabolism, most experts say that 1200 calories/day is the absolute minimum intake you should have. Perhaps a food journal could help you see what you're eating and help you make sure to eat enough each day.

You're not alone! Hang in there!
On maintenance since March 1, 2005
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Old 03-21-2007, 01:59 PM   #5
...to everything
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First of all, I agree with everyone else -- you NEED to eat. Food plays a key role in mood. I know, however, that one of the symptoms of depression is EITHER an increase OR a decrease in appetite.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this (again). I know how hard it is. I've dealt with depression for the last 11 years of my life (I'm 25). I was on meds a couple of times, hated how they made me feel, would do better for a while, spiral downward, blah blah blah.

Honestly, the last time I had a really bad episode, it lasted for 5 months. It was HORRIBLE for me and my boyfriend. Since everyone is different, I obviously can't tell you what will work for you, but I can tell you what helps for me.
1. I take a cod liver oil capsule every day. It's supposed to help w/ depression, and I find that it probably does (I haven't done any technical studies or anything, but you know).
2. I also take a multivitamin. B vitamins, as well as D vitamins, have been found to aid in relieving anxiety and depression. This could help especially if you're not eating well.
3. Getting enough sleep. I have found this to be the #1 determining factor in how successful I am at battling my own negative thoughts.
4. Seeing a counsellor. It helps to have an objective person who KNOWS how to deal with depression, and has seen all of this before.
5. Reading a cognitive-behavioral therapy book called (cheesy though it is) "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David Burns. It's really an excellent book, and I can't tell you how much it's helped.
6. Exercise. But you probably know that already
7. Getting enough fresh air. The sun helps incredibly. I guess I must have a tinge of SAD, since I always have a rough time starting in August, until about January or February.

HTH, feel free to pm me if you want to chat.

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Old 03-21-2007, 02:00 PM   #6
...to everything
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Also, if you're having suicidal or self-destructive thoughts (you said you were scared for yourself), PLEASE seek help immediately.

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Old 03-21-2007, 04:39 PM   #7
Am I there yet?
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If meds haven't worked for you in the past (I am right there w/ you as I have OCD and GAD), try seeing a therapist. I have found that Cognitive Behavior Therapy has helped tremendously in my life. And don't get discouraged if you have to shop around for therapists - I tried three before I found one that I really liked and thought was really helping. Hang in there!

20 lbs. to Moab, UT - 4/17/2008
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Old 03-21-2007, 06:41 PM   #8
Going the rest of the way
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Originally Posted by RidiculouslyAddicted View Post
1. I take a cod liver oil capsule every day. It's supposed to help w/ depression, and I find that it probably does (I haven't done any technical studies or anything, but you know).
I had my psychiatrist recommend something similar to me back in the day -- flax seed oil. It helps immensely. I agree with the Vitamin D supplements, too.

In fact, I second everything that RidiculouslyAddicted wrote.

Depression sucks, I know -- had dysthymia for 14 years and Major Depressive Disorder for 2, and I'm constantly battling OCD and anxiety. That said, my life has completely turned around over the past few years...cognitive behavioural therapy was a HUGE help here, more so than the meds I was on. I really hope you find something that works for you.

Take care! *hugs*

Maintaining 148 lb since 2007. Shooting for 135 lb this time.
Photos from my original goal (2007) - updated Sep 2011!
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Old 03-21-2007, 07:39 PM   #9
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You actually might be feeling depressed because you aren't eating and your body and mind don't respond well to that.
I think that the idea of scheduled eating is a good one. Also, Inositol as a supplement (along with flax or cod liver oil) was recommended to me.
I think that you need to be seeing a doctor if you are this concerned. So, get thee hence.
Also, there have been advancements in drug therapies over the past couple of years so you might want to check in. There are a variety of was to manage depression through drug therapy without using traditional antidepressants. Check in with a psychiatrist and ask them their opion. They will be able to help you out more than us really.
Lost: 140ish lbs
Maintainence: 2 years

My "Happy" Weight:

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Old 03-21-2007, 08:21 PM   #10
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I agree that you need to be eating, even if you don't feel like it. Not eating may be affecting you greatly... at the very least it is not doing you any favours.
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Old 03-22-2007, 02:29 AM   #11
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My mom had severe depression issues while growing up and now my dad has some mild issues mostly related to anxiety. Myself, I went through a pretty bad year or so back in 2003. I go through bouts of depression and anxiety on occasion. I guess I don't have any advice to add here, I guess I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone
It's frustrating....hang on!

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Old 03-22-2007, 11:17 AM   #12
Lose that Baby Weight!
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Use your obsession to your advantage. Don't just become obsessed with losing weight or counting calories. Become obsessed with health. Read everything you can get your hands on. This will keep you aware of the good and bad bahaviors one can take on when trying to become healthy. (this might help keep you eating instead of starving) Then when you do get it figured out maybe you can help others who are in your same boat because you know what it feels like!

Sorry to not be able to offer anything more specific.

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Old 03-23-2007, 11:23 PM   #13
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I think that with proper nutrition that the working out should be able to help somewhat but I defnitly reccomend therapy if you can manage it, even just commiting to one session can help for more severe cases if you wont do meds. But I have been there, professional help can be very useful. But in any case... *Hugs*
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