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Can't get over it

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Old 03-15-2007, 05:14 PM   #1
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Default Can't get over it

Ok, I get depressed often, it's usually self esteem problems. Well I just got a real cute tattoo on my lower back and I was in a real good mood, I was feeling good about myself I was even getting hit on and stuff this day, so I was having a self esteem boost which is very rare for me. Then the worst thing possible happens.
I was in the grocery store dressed real cute and feeling good. I left and was putting the groceries in the car when a lady that worked there came out and gave my my egges that I accidently left inside, she said " I'm glad I caught you, you forgot your egges, a customer saw you leave them, I asked her what you looked like and she said you were the girl in the green shirt that looks a little pregnant". It took every bit of strength I had that moment not to break down crying right there. I'm 150 lbs, which isn't skinny but until that moment I didn't realize that one of my most defining features was my fat. I was thinking she couldn't have said the girl in the green shirt and blonde hair, or girl in the green shirt and high heel. I felt like wow, I didn't realize that the first thing people notice about me is that I'm fat.
Now I don't even wanna leave the house and I don't know if I'll ever feel good like I did that day ever again. I guess one good thing did come from it, I am so disgusted with myself that I havn't eaten in 2 days. My heart still feels like it's in my stomach.
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Old 03-15-2007, 05:34 PM   #2
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Please don't let cruel people bring you down and halt your progress! You've lost five pounds. THAT IS PROGRESS. You are beautiful, and you will continue to live in a healthy way and lose weight, and soon you WILL BE 115!!

Some people are just ignorant and make cruel comments without knowing any better. You could be of another race, and you would just be defined on whether you were African-American, Asian, Latino, etc. Unfortunately, people are described by superficial characteristics too often. Please chalk the "pregnant" comment up to ignorance and continue FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF!!
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Old 03-15-2007, 05:35 PM   #3
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You WILL get over it because you are not going to let some visually impaired people define you or how you feel.
I know the feeling of the ugly/fat-head days when you don't want to leave the house. But that feeling will subside, and do you know what the cure usually is for me?? Going out with my family or friends, even if they have to force me out the door.
You are in your head (and house) too much right now. You need to get out mentally and physically and remove yourself from that moment in time and those couple of people. Just think how many MORE people thought you looked amazing.
And you aren't fat. You know that. You may want to lose a few pounds but I can see from your avatar that you are soo pretty. So, don't let some losers take out their negative self-feelings out on you. You don't have to take that crap. You are above that.
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Old 03-15-2007, 05:47 PM   #4
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Dont let it get to ya!!!

You need to eat to lose weight....so eat something!!!!

Keep ur head up!!!
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Old 03-15-2007, 05:48 PM   #5
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That's an awful thing to have to go through.

I say,

Believe in yourself and your accomplishments. Focus some energy on what you love about yourself and what you have to offfer. You are a valuable person - don't let some unhappy person bring you down. If you get your esteem from inside, those comments have no bearing. You know who you are.

Get out for a walk, or do something you enjoy. Spiralling down in the wrong direction will not make you happier than you are now.

I hope your day gets better
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Old 03-15-2007, 05:49 PM   #6
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Thank you so much you guys for the kind works, it really does help. I have an awsome fiance that is trying so hard to make me feel better too, he's telling me " you know how many guys I catch checin you out all the time, why do those two women count, they're prolly jealouse" I don't think I believe all that but I think its sooo sweet that it's imortant to him that I feel good about myself. I have to try my best to pick myself up and dust it all off and try and focus on the new me that I am trying to create. It's just sooo hard because I am real sensative about my weight and man, those words cut me like a knife.
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Old 03-15-2007, 06:01 PM   #7
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People say things completely without thinking. I try not to assume anyone I don't know is even "a little pregnant" unless they're wearing a "baby on board" maternity clothing (and even then know I might be taking a risk).

Some people have "pregnant on the brain" and even the tiniest tummy roundness (that is absolutely normal if you look at classic greek statues - when overweight definitely was not the norm) makes them want to rub a stranger's belly.

Don't let it get to you. Women, even at their ideal weight, are supposed to have curves, and to some people in these days of anorexic, starving models, the smallest curve south of the waist means pregnant.

A man's opinion (even one who loves you) in this matter, is a lot more realistic than a strange woman on the street, because you have no idea what her idea of "fat" or "pregnant" is.
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Old 03-16-2007, 02:36 PM   #8
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ShyShy,

This is not a weight issue. This is a self-esteem issue. People in general, and certainly many of the people on this board, and you in particular need to not put so much stock in what a stranger says about you. It's irrelevant.

****, look on the brightside. I would take it to mean that you look like a normal person (not an overweight person) with a little bit of a belly. It's cute! There are 500 pound woman who would love for people to think they're just "a little pregnant." Maybe she meant you were glowing and radiant? Or maybe she said something worse about you, but not about your weight. Would that be better? Maybe she said you smell "a little stagnant." who knows? Who cares?

And obviously, this woman was a moron. If you've lived on this earth for more than 5 minutes you know not to say to someone that they look pregnant (even a little pregnant) unless you know for a fact that they are. Personally, I never say "You look pregnant" until the point where there is a little arm poking out from between their legs, because I just don't chance it.

Don't let this get you down. Pick yourself up and move on.
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Old 03-16-2007, 06:06 PM   #9
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Though me and my friends call our belly's our baby that we need to get rid of

people are idiots - I got harrassed while in Jordan by some local guy at a tourist attraction - (saying stuff like why are all you americans fat, don't you want to get a boyfriend, stuff like that) he literally made me cry - but you know what - I'm over it - he will never be able to see me for who I am because he can't get over his stupidity - and in reality - I'm not as fat as he made me out to be or feel - and I could have probably taken him down if I wanted to. So just take the worker down! or the customer!

maybe you were glowing so she was like she is so happy she must be pregnant!
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Old 03-17-2007, 10:53 AM   #10
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My dd was 1month old, when i decided to go out with my friends for a bachorette party. Some guy was bugging my friend and i ( she was getting married, i was married, not interested). Anyway.....his friend was trying to get him to leave and said " Dude.....lets go, they are FAT anyway"!!! Ugh....it hurt because finally someone admitted to me that I was fat!! I know it shouldnt matter....but it does.
People are senseless sometimes
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Old 03-18-2007, 03:48 PM   #11
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Ugh, people are such morons. Back when I was the fittest (and craziest, hence my new, healthier weight loss journey ) I had ever been at 127 pounds, in a size 4 pair of jeans, I was poking at my totally flat belly in public once, complaining about how I had had too much beer the night before and I was bloated. A woman came up to me and asked if I was pregnant. When I freaked out, it came out that it had nothing to do with my weight, it was about my personality and how she "sensed it."

?????????????????????????????????

It's just a question I would never ask unless the woman was literally in labor in front of me. So I am so sorry it happened to you, and I hope karma gets those insensitive women.
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Old 03-18-2007, 05:16 PM   #12
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[it had nothing to do with my weight, it was about my personality and how she "sensed it."]

Oh that brings back memories. When I worked at a huge "cubicle-maze" company, the woman in the cube accross from mine was convinced that she had a knack for telling who was pregnant before anyone - even the prospective "mother-to-be." Her talent was not in the baby-prediction game, but in offending people. As soon as anyone in the office moved in with a bf, became engaged, or got married, she would start guessing at whether or when they would become pregnant. She really jumped the gun for one woman, who had only been dating a new guy for only a few weeks. "Kay," thought the woman had moved in with the guy because she saw them drive in to work together on a few occasions (they were only carpooling), and asked the woman if she were pregnant. The woman said, "NO, I am NOT," a little angrily (she was so skinny, a good wind could have knocked her over). Kay wasn't deterred, and said "I wouldn't be too sure about that, I have a talent for sensing these things". The woman shot back, "since I haven't had sex in two years, I'm pretty sure your sensors need checking."

I wish I could say Kay learned her lesson, but thick headed people generally don't. She did stop making baby comments for a few months though. Oh man, thinking of that still makes me laugh so hard!
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Old 05-02-2007, 05:48 AM   #13
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Dear God, I am so sick of people thinking they can comment on your body! Mimik, please don't automatically think you must be fat if a couple of guys who couldn't score with you say so! I've seen it myself - they're full of sweet-talk until you say "no, thank you", and they turn on you just to save face! It's horrible!

And as far as "pregnant" comments, I'm fortunate enough to never have experienced such a comment, but as a fairly tall hourglass I get told quite frequently what a "big" girl I am. I've had a gym trainer tells me how he loves "voluptuous" women, I've had a woman I'd just met tell me how I'm "built like a brick s-house", and my co-workers all think I'm a freakin hulk! I've come to realise that I must look quite big from their perspective cause they're all significantly shorter than me... but have bigger waistlines!

ShyShy19, I'm so sorry you've been hurt. I know it's so painful. But I've learnt the hard way there are a lot of people in the world who'll take any opportunity to cut you down. Have a good think about who made that comment, and decide whether that person is speaking to you from good intentions. For all you know, she's noticed you in the store before, seen you slimming down, and maybe envied that! You never know! Go and eat something
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Old 05-02-2007, 10:20 PM   #14
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I'd like to know why that person felt the need to tell you what was said? What kind of heartless person would repeat that? Some people really need to have an attitude adjustment.
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Old 05-02-2007, 10:30 PM   #15
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I swear to god, I would have punched her right in the face. That's just so rude, it hurts my soul to think about it.

You're beautiful, and don't let any ignorant twit convince you otherwise! Keep up the great work, but do it for YOU, not for jerks like her!
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