Well, here I am again after about three months of absence from 3FC. I had a bit of backslide, since I got my heart broken around November and spent most of December exacting the perfect revenge by eating a lot of brownies and chips and drinking a lot of wine. I gained about fifteen pounds (ugh) but I've been eating better and running for the past few weeks and have managed to take some of that off.
Are any of you currently in the process of dating again? It's really quite strange. I think I have some esteem issues, particularly as my friends keep telling me I have "no idea" how pretty and funny I am, and even though I'm aware of three guys who would gladly take the place of the heartbreaker, I can't help but shake the feeling that I'd like to take the weight off again before dating again. Am I completely mental? Should I just go for it, "wobbly bits" and all? I guess I just need a good kick in the butt.
I know exactly what you mean. I just am having a hard time imaging that guys would want to be with me, even though it's totally in my face. I just keep thinking that they're the kind of guys who might want play but not a relationship with someone like me, which is so dumb. I mean, I think it's tough for me because I look at my body which is better than it was (and never was SO bad to begin with) and then I compare it to Jessica Alba or whomever, and of course I fall short. But honestly, that's not what the guys are looking for, you know? So you should certainly go for it, wobbily bits or not, because if the guy likes you, then he likes and wants to be with YOU. And guys aren't idiots: they can tell what you look like and if they like you, then that's it.
And I do keep thinking, "Oh, i want to be 125lbs, and when i'm there, then guys will like me," but that's obviously bull because there are guys who like me now, and since there are guys who like you, you should jump at it! Have fun and get back out there! That was my new years resolution: if a guy asks me out, I'm going to go out...no more waiting, time to start living!
I'm married, and while I'm obviously not in the dating thing anymore I still relate. I was about 140-145 pounds when we met, and far from it now at 206ish. If a guy likes you for who you are without really caring what you look like in the weight department, go for it! It shouldn't be all about looks. I mean, not to sound shallow but some of it is looks because you have to feel physically attracted, but the guy should like you for what's inside your brain and heart, not your tummy But if it would help your self esteem, hold off a little and don't worry so much about weight, just your fitness level and how you feel. If you feel better physically, you'll feel better mentally, and that will help the self esteem and weightloss. And if anyone approaches you to try to get a date, just say something like "I'd love to go out with you sometime, but I just got out of a relationship and I'm trying to take a little me time." If they want to wait around, you know it may be worth it because they're willing to wait for you to be ready.
I feel exactly the same way...I keep trying to tell myself that there are few guys who would even notice if I lost 10 pounds, let alone be more attracted to me!! Go for it!!
Hang in there. When my ex and I broke up, I lost so much weight, but I had a hard time being happy even though guys were lining up at the door to date me. The real problem was my own happiness and what I thought of my own self worth. Even though I was thin, attractive and a fun person, I was still lonely and sad inside. And, I was scared of being rejected again!
When my husband and I met, I was 135 lbs and when we were married 3 years later, I was 200. I look at pictures from when we began dating and it makes me so sad, haha. But my point is, any guy worth getting to know, dating and eventally marrying will love you no matter what size you are. My husband still finds me incredibly sexy and attractive, "wobbly bits" and all! It's all about taking care of yourself and presenting yourself in a confident and secure manner. Let them get to know YOU, the wonderful YOU, and not the number on the scale.
Back in the game...
I gained about fifteen pounds (ugh) but I've been eating better and running for the past few weeks and have managed to take some of that off.
But if it would help your self esteem, hold off a little and don't worry so much about weight, just your fitness level and how you feel. If you feel better physically, you'll feel better mentally, and that will help the self esteem and weightloss. And if anyone approaches you to try to get a date, just say something like "I'd love to go out with you sometime, but I just got out of a relationship and I'm trying to take a little me time." If they want to wait around, you know it may be worth it because they're willing to wait for you to be ready.
When my ex and I broke up, I lost so much weight, but I had a hard time being happy even though guys were lining up at the door to date me. The real problem was my own happiness and what I thought of my own self worth. Even though I was thin, attractive and a fun person, I was still lonely and sad inside. And, I was scared of being rejected again!
I look at pictures from when we began dating and it makes me so sad, haha. But my point is, any guy worth getting to know, dating and eventally marrying will love you no matter what size you are. My husband still finds me incredibly sexy and attractive, "wobbly bits" and all! It's all about taking care of yourself and presenting yourself in a confident and secure manner. Let them get to know YOU, the wonderful YOU, and not the number on the scale. 
