[jasmine620]

I think oneof my big reasons for being 255 at 5'9" is because of no self control. I try to nbe motivated by looking at myself in the mirror and other ways but when i see food or sweets i cant stop myself. how do i have more self control? i have a major problem with this.

[lovegoddess1977]

I just got fed up and said...NO!!! That's the only thing that has worked for me. I cannot describe it other than..I get angry and REFUSE to give in. Sometimes I give in and I will eat one thing and then walk away. But that happens whenever I absolutely cannot walk away. It's a struggle but I am worth it and so are yoU!

[Heather]

Like lovegoddess, I finally had to say NO too. I never had self-control before, and I do struggle from time to time -- I think everyone does. But I finally made weight loss a real priority... made a commitment to it, and had to find a way to realistically do it.

You aren't alone.

[baffled111]

I don't know what to tell you about getting more self-control (other than just making the decision and committing to it), but as far as motivation goes, looking at yourself in the mirror and indulging in self-loathing has got to be one of the worst, most counter-productive motivational tactics. Looking at yourself in the mirror and hating what you see is much more likely to lead to a binge than anything else. I suggest that you'd be better off speaking to yourself positively. You deserve to feel good about yourself, to be fit and healthy and attractive. Come up with positive mental images for yourself: walking up stairs without huffing and puffing, fitting into smaller clothes, eating moderately and feeling good about it--whatever. Punishing yourself for being overweight is not the way to convince yourself that you can take positive steps to make yourself and your life healthier and happier.

Just my 2 cents.

[JayEll]

If the mirror makes you feel awful about yourself, don't do it. If you can use the mirror as a motivator to do better, then that's different.

Either way, remember that when you say "NO" to those sweet things, it is NOT forever. You are saying "No" while you are learning a better way to eat, and losing weight. The day will come when you can have something sweet, within limits--and that's just how life is! Eventually, nothing will be out of bounds, but you will no longer be compelled to go wild with it. See?

So just remove yourself from the scene as much as you can. Don't give in. Put it off. Wait it out. Keep your hands at your sides! If you don't pick it up, you can't put it in your mouth! (Well, not without looking pretty awkward... )

You'll get the hang of it. Keep trying!

Jay

[Heather]

I say that I'm not saying NO to the brownie, I'm saying YES to a healthier me!

[rockinrobin]

I too spent many, many years wondering how I would ever get the weight off. I thought that it was impossible because I simply had no self control. But I was wrong. I dug down really, really deep, made that DECISION and the COMMITMENT and "just said NO more, it must stop".

I know it's hard, but it is something that can be learned. And it really, really does get easier as you go along. The first 2 weeks of "just saying NO" were quite difficult, but then like I said it does get easier. And it's so incredibly worth it. And like the wise Heather says, I'm not saying NO to the food, but YES to a healthier and happier ME. Especially in the beginning I thought to myself, that every single time I said NO to _________ (fill in the blank), I was one step closer to ending my misery. I was one step closer to no longer being morbidly obese, and then obese and then overweight. I actually got EXCITED that an end to a long, awful and unnecessesary chapter in my life would be over. I was EXCITED that I would finally become that fit, active, energetic, productive, outgoing, HEALTHY person I so badly wanted to be.

But yes, set yourself up for success. Rid your house of the junk. ADD in healthy, low cal TASTY, delicious foods. Map out a food scheduele and stick to it like glue. Success and eating healthy doesn't happen by chance - it MUST be planned for. Good luck and take heart that learning self control IS possible.

[jordan]

So much of self control is just forming new habits. Instead of eating fast food for lunch you eat a sandwich, or whatever, and pretty soon that is natural and you don't have to exercise much self control. The hardest part is forming the new habits, and obviously the temptations remain after that and you will have struggles, but really once you get into a routine self control is much easier.