[Breathless in NJ]

My last post was in July. I had been posting on the Old Hens board but it seems to have disappeared? I have been having a rough go of it lately. Dear friends recently lost their 26 year old son in October to suicide and it has affected me more than I realize. A mutual friend of ours committed suicide about 4 years ago and we helped each other get through that and now this. My weight loss has taken a back seat to emotional eating and I feel like I can't get it back on track after I was doing so well. I am not selfish by any means and if I could take their pain away I would do it in a minute, only now, I'm feeling like such a failure at this weight thing, I feel guilty that I am not entitled to such feelings while they are in so much pain. I don't know what I am looking for here either, just maybe someone can offer some sound advice which I could always count on when I came here. Thank you all and God Bless.

Karen

[OK Lizzy]

Hi Karen -- I hadn't been posting on the "Old Hens" board (altho I definitely qualify!), but your message sort of grabbed me, and I just wanted to say "I'm thinking of you today". I've had a few really crummy things occur in my life over the last few months -- and like you, my emotional eating has started back up with a frenzy. Every morning, I tell myself that today will be better -- and then by the evening, I'm stopping somewhere to buy my junk for the evening feast. Meanwhile, the "crummy things" just get worse and worse. Maybe we can be there for each other?

[Heather]

Karen -- If you're looking for the group that was in 300+ we are still there! We just changed the name. You'll find the current weekly thread here

We hope we can welcome you back!

[Breathless in NJ]

Thanks Heather! I am seeing familiar names there and feel a little better already.

Ok Lizzy: Thank you for your thoughts and comforting words of encouragement. I, too start out the day with a positive statment and by the time "whenever" rolls around, it's off to the races with crap food. I went to the store today and only purchased "good" food, but I still have holiday junk laying around here for gifts...haha...hopefully they make it that long! I get so disgusted with myself and feel so weak for not being able to resist temptation. How pathetic I am! I hate the way I look, the way I feel, the way my clothes fit (or not fit)BLAH BLAH BLAH! Why doesn't it just sink into my head? I'm an intelligent person, why can't I stop this destructive behavior???? I guess if I had the answer to that question, I'd be a gazillion-aire. Any way, thanks for taking the tme to respond to my plea and I'll be here for you when I see you. You will probably find me on the 300+ and gettin' fit after 40 boards. Take care,

Karen

[Heather]

I'm an intelligent person, why can't I stop this destructive behavior????

I used to wonder that ALL the time.

I think in part, it's that motivation just is not enough. You have to be willing and able to make a commitment. You might not have to have a plan fully in place or 100% believe it would work (I didn't have either), but you do have to believe you CAN do it. That was my problem for years and years.

I don't know about you, but I found other ways to build my self-worth and told myself it was okay if I kind of sucked in the physical realm. I saw it as a foregone conclusion that I would be an obese person the rest of my life.

In the end, I'm really glad I didn't listen to me! That part of me anyway. My life is a lot more complicated, but also more complete and complex... hmmm, I'm on a "compl" kick...