[LuckyLadyBug]

What are we really hungry for?
The Non-Diet Approach, April 24, 2002

Lose weight without dieting? HOW?!?!

By getting to the root of why you overeat in the first place! "Why Weight," written by Geneen Roth, is a non-diet book that contains exercises designed to help compulsive eaters learn how to stop using food as a substitute for handling difficult emotions or situations. You'll also learn how to enjoy eating and still lose weight naturally. This program offers reassuring guidelines on:

-- kicking the scale-watching habit forever
-- learning to say no
-- discovering other pleasures besides food
-- learning the difference between physical and emotional hunger
-- listening to and trusting your body's hunger and fullness signals

Each week at least one exercise will be posted and you are encouraged to share your answers, thoughts, etc..

Please share any insight, ideas, articles or other information that you may have.

Join us in Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating!

[LuckyLadyBug]

Exercise 59: If I had it to do over:

If you were 85 right now and you were looking back on the life you had lived, what would you want to do differenlty?

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Of the items you have listed, which ones can you begin doing this month?

[LuckyLadyBug]

1 I wouldn't let myself get fat.
2 I wouldn't let myself get fat.
3 I wouldn't let myself get fat.
4 I wouldn't let myself get fat.
5 I wouldn't let myself get fat.
6 I wouldn't let myself get fat.
7 I wouldn't let myself get fat.
8 I wouldn't let myself get fat.

Of the items you have listed, which ones can you begin doing this month?So what is my payoff that I don't take this extra weight off. I hate it but continue to be here...

[Amarantha2]

LLB! Thanks for posting the new exercise. I am smiling at your answer but I'm tempted to co-op it for my use also.

Caveat: I am, as you know, a youthful, lovely and amazingly active crone, but I am not the beautiful age of 85. I'm considerably less than 85, but I have a friend who is 85 and when I talk to her I sometimes think I'm "older" than she is. She's had one awesome life and seems to regret none of it, so I do kind of aspire to that state of mind when I grow up!

Be that as it may, I could fill pages with things I regret up to this point and heaven only knows how bad it'll get in the coming decades. But limiting it to eight, I'd say:

If I were 85 and had it to do over, I'd likely:

1) Not ever gain 100 extra pounds. One can lose it, but the health consequences are not worth it.

2) Live by a secret a lady in politics once told me when I complimented her on her ability to "keep her head when all about her are losing theirs ... (Kipling);" she said she had a prayer she kept saying to herself: "Should I speak now?"

3) Never have any pets; I become dependent on them instead of the other way around.

4) Become a dietician instead of a reporter; it's healthier all the way around and the pay is better.

5) Learn early to love vegetables and hate sweets.

6) Get a ph.D before I got too jaded to care.

7) Write a cookbook instead of a bad novel.

8) Learn to play the harp.


Well, that's the short list. There's more but I'll stick to the exercise. As for the second part, I guess I could start doing all of them this month, but I doubt if I will, since I haven't yet.

I didn't stick to weight-related items in my list, but if you think about it everything is weight-related. If I dedicated a fraction of the time to, say, the last three items that I do to managing weight, I'd likely not have a poundage problem at all.

[Arabella]

Exercise 59: If I had it to do over

If you were 85 right now and you were looking back on the life you had lived, what would you want to do differenlty?

1 Not get fat. Sigh.
2 Go to university while I was young.
3 Be consistently, actively creative
4 Spend more time with the people I love the most
5 Become a psychotherapist
6 Not drink as much as I did when I was younger
7 Try to stay open to experience rather than withdrawing
8 Maintain a spiritual life
9 Try to stay aware of my needs and see that they are met, rather than sublimating them

Of the items you have listed, which ones can you begin doing this month?

I really like this one. As I filled in my answers, I felt little jolts of hope, because I can do a lot of these things NOW. And it occurred to me as I reached the last ones that if I was doing the ones I could do that pesky old #1 would probably take care of itself.

The hard part is trying to start. Every day I tell myself I don't have time for anything but the things I HAVE to do. And it simply is not true. I waste huge swathes of time without even enjoying it! I'm trying to do better, and have been a bit. Trying to pull myself out of a minor depression that seems partially hormonal (coinciding with an increase in hot flashes). But I feel so much better when I TRY to do these things. It feels almost like all I have to do is make the decision. I am going to really try today and report back.

Lucky, thanks for posting this. I hope that you're feeling better.

Crone, like you, I think that if we filled our lives we wouldn't be so focused on filling our bellies. Maybe we can baby step our way into doing some of these things?

Have a great day, you wonderful women!

love!

babette

[LuckyLadyBug]

Crone: Thanks for your post I love, absolutly LOVE the "Should I speak now" prayer. I have always been someone who can "not" talk, sometimes more than is good for me, but I also KNOW many people need to learn this prayer.

Babette: "The hard part is trying to start. Every day I tell myself I don't have time for anything but the things I HAVE to do. And it simply is not true. I waste huge swathes of time without even enjoying it! I'm trying to do better, and have been a bit. Trying to pull myself out of a minor depression that seems partially hormonal (coinciding with an increase in hot flashes). But I feel so much better when I TRY to do these things. It feels almost like all I have to do is make the decision. I am going to really try today and report back.

Crone, like you, I think that if we filled our lives we wouldn't be so focused on filling our bellies. Maybe we can baby step our way into doing some of these things? "

I TOTALLY agree with you on this. I "think" I really want to lose this weight but don't really do anything about it, so, do I really? Maybe it's because I do believe that it isn't what I eat (is but isn't) but what is going on in my head somewhere!

I have a good life but apparently am not following my bliss!!!! Wonder what it is?

[echristo]

Well, seeing as though 85 is a lond stretch from now, I'll have to think real closely about this one.

1. I would absolutely love myself. Every inch of my body, hair, face and mind.
2. I would never doubt myself.
3. I would have applied my self in High School instead of waiting till college to use my mind. (It is never too late to start learning, I keep telling my mom. I think it would help her esteem.)
4. I would never have compared myself to anyone else and admired them b/c they were thinner than me.
5. I would have gotten involved with sports in high school instead of pot. (I'm being honest)
6. I would not have made fun or teased anyone. We do these things without really thinking. Still to this day I look at others and either have something good or bad to say about them. I am trying to be less critical. If I focus less on them and more on me I think I'd be able to accomplish #1& #4.
7. I would have made more friends. Limiting myself to my 2 close friends limited my knowledge of a lot. I should have experience everyone. We are all different and for that we are beautiful.
8. I would take back every hateful or mean word that I've said to people I love. They never held them against me and probably have forgotten about them, but I remember.

[KatyDes]

Exercise 59: If I had it to do over

If you were 85 right now and you were looking back on the life you had lived, what would you want to do differenlty?

1 Love Myself.
2 Think I'm as beautiful as everyone else does.
3 Not let a few pounds rule my life & almost every waking thought
4 Go into a profession that helps others, every day.
5 Be thankful for each and every day.
6 Enjoy the journey of life.
7 Have creative hobbies.
8 Read more (not books on fat & nutrition!)
9 Spend more time making my son happy.

Of the items you have listed, which ones can you begin doing this month?

I don't know, this is so tough. I'm trying to work on myself to relieve myself of my obsession. I figure as that goes away, I will have to find other things to do with my time. I guess that's when I will start persuing the other things....this has just depressed me. I feel like I've wasted so much time worrying that I'm a size 12 and want to be a size 8 that I've missed out on a lot of my life that I can never get back. What a stupid, stupid thing.

What a lovely thread this is. Thanks, everybody!

I'm 38 now and perfectly healthy, capable, and strong and not bad to look at really! And sometimes I get so disgusted with myself for grousing over that extra 10 pounds. Big Deal, Lucille! I've got to get a grip and enjoy every succulent day!

If I had to do it over again, I would not completely collapse myself into this weight loss journey 100%. I'd maintain my other interests as well, in particular my spiritual life which I'm seeing has fallen by the wayside somewhat. My dream is to consistently combine the two.

If I had it to do over again, I'd never have let my weight get out of hand in the first place. I would've developed a love of exercise early on!

I'd never have let the concept of self-hate or bad body image become a reality in my life.

I'd know beyond doubt the power of kindness.

I'm a big fan of change and believe that we can always start over.

Peace and blessings!!!

[LuckyLadyBug]

GREAT answers....