ergh!!! a friend of mine - we always just meet for lunch - and we've always shared a weight loss desire in common, well she was kinda snotty to me today!
we were talking on the phone and i said i'd lost some (i didn't say THIRTY FIVE POUNDS) and she said in this super snotty voice "oh so you're really going to do it this time, eh?"
is it mean that she told me she's put on 10 lbs., and when i see her i can i dropped 35 be-yatch! hhahahah kidding
Ohh, I know this all too well. I've lost several "friends" because of weight loss.
I have one friend who lost 60 pounds when I was at my highest weight. I supported her and cheered her on the whole time. A few years later, the roles were reversed - and all she could say to me is something about "buying in to fascist beauty standards" and telling me I should have enough self-esteem to love my body as it is.
It's sad, but just like an alcoholic can't hang out with a drinking buddy who still drinks, it's not always feasible to maintain friendships with those who discourage our success.
You've lost 35 pounds!! Be proud, nobody can take that away from you.
Some people have a really hard time overcoming jealousy to be supportive. I don't know if I would throw it in her face out loud, but you better believe that's what I am gonna be thinking!! I would also let her order lunch first, and then after she orders a cheeseburger I would make some VERY obviously healthy choices and make a big point of leaving some of the food on my plate just to rub it in!! Ha ha.. Ok so maybe that's mean, but she started it, right?
Isn't that wierd how that works!! It sucks because it is nice to share the excitement with someone who knows how hard it is! Your obviously the better person here and personally I know I don't have time for negative energy (I generate enough for myself). Maybe she was having a bad day because she feels alittle upset with herself. I would just fly under the radar and see what happens in a few weeks (months).
Good luck and WOW 35 pounds. Way to go. Your doing it! So you know you can keep it up
So she's jealous, so what? She should be. You're doing a fantastic job! Of course, she could have handled it in a bit of a more mature fashion... But oh well. Be proud of your accomplishments...it's no small feat!...and don't be afraid to rub it in her face. Just a little. Tiny bit.
Oh yes! BTDT! I have several friends like that. If they are snotty with me, I just rub it in a little more lol. Maybe not obviously but Ill wear something nice to show off how much Ive lost, etc.
I wouldn't rub it in her face, actually. It's tempting to go tit-for-tat on something, but you already "won", I don't think anything good would come of it to rub it in her face.
Haha, I was thinking about this recently. I don't tell people I've made a life change or I go to the gym daily b/c of this very reason. One person in particular who I thought would be supportive, but I should have known better, because they're competitive with EVERYTHING by nature. One of those copy cat people, but I always found it amusing.
At first, when I started, if a group of us would go out for dinner, they'd cover my menu so I couldn't see the healthy foods and turn to the burgers, fried food, anything thing that was bad for me. I would go on and order my salads, veggies, fruits, and get THIS, they'd order something healthy too.
I asked why and they said they felt bad because I was making positive choices and it reflected on their lack of discipline. Intially they tried to "keep up" by working out with me, but recently found a bs way to tell me they quit. Oh well, I was always positive and cheering them on when they decided they wanted to make the "life change" along with me, but that was never reciprocated.
I guess the part that peeves me is that when SHE lost a ton of weight after a child (she's since put it all back + 30 lbs) I absolutely RAVED about how fabulous she looked, TOLD her how jealous I was she was that committed!!
you know what's weird, now that I've really thought about our relationship, it is all about HER... she just tells me what goes on in her life and I bring up stuff, but she never asks me.... hmmmm... a lightbulb has gone on!
Trazey, I had a lot of those revelations about people and their true nature, too. Sometimes weight loss changes dynamics in relationships that weren't an issue before - your husband/bf might get envious because he realizes you are getting more attention, a particular thin friend may not ask you to go out anymore because you no longer make her look tiny, a sibling suddenly racing to lose weight because you have, etc. It's funny how this affects so many areas of our lives.
It has really been an adjustment for me here since loosing a lot of weight. The dynamics of lots of things/relationships have now changed. It is up to us to "pick the battles" so to speak and to decide which friendships are worth keeping. I know for me, my life now is sooo much better and worth more than some catty women.
Eating Buddies!
