Ok. SO I am going back to school today. I always hate this. I am so sick to my stomache. Im afriad, as usual, about what people are going to think about me. I am tired of sitting in the back of the class so I can see everyone. I hate people sitting behind me because they could be laughing at me and I wont know it. I am tired of not being able to raise my hand to answer a question because I am afraid that people will think that my answer is stupid. I am tired of being afraid. I just want to be thin so I dont have to be afraid anymore. Wish me luck. I need it..... :!:
Daphne: Don't be afraid! Take hold of this opportunity today to make it a GREAT DAY!! Don't let FEAR hold you back! You have the power to do great things!!!
One of the biggest changes I've seen in myself since I've gotten older is that I just really don't care that much what other people think or say! Do these people really matter? Who cares what they think or say....they are just students like you...no better or worse than you! Hold your head up and be proud of yourself! I've found that people usually respect self confidence, no matter what size you are.
Dear Daphne.
The other students no doubt have their own concerns-no one is 100% secure. I once read someone said that you would't be concerned about what others though about you, if you realized how little time they do spend thinking about you.
You fear may or may not be tied to your weight. Maybe a woman's self esteem workshop would give you some needed boost. I know many a thin
women who don't speak up.
You are going to be fine-just be yourself.
Sending gpood thoughts your way.
Sheridan
Daphne - I have to agree with Rhonda here, WHO CARES what they think? Be confident, hold your head high - you have just as much right to be here as anyone else. It took me a long time to get that through my head, but now that I have I am a much happier person.
Yeah, I'll echo what's been said. You go in there, hold your head up high. Being overweight is not a crime. It's nothing to be ashamed of. EVERYONE has there "things" that bug them about themselves. We're just not always aware of what other peoples "things" may be.
The first day of school is always nervewracking - for everyone. Skinny folks, regular folks and overweight ones.
You're a good person. You have a lot to offer this world. Your weight is not dependent on that. And you belong there just as much as anyone else. And isn't the anticipation of an event, always worse then the actual event itself? I hate that. But I find that usually to be the case.
Ditto to what Rhonda said, when I was 18 and would go to the gym I would never want to go to exercersize class. I was afraid of what people thought (and I was relatively in good shape) at 28 and 104 pounds overweight for some reason I could careless what those people think. I have just gotton to the point were this is my goal. I am sure I look sillier now then back then so head up. Thats awesome that you are investing in yourself so don't let anyone have control over that.
You're there to learn, so take responsibility for your education and ask all the questions you need to ask, answer all the questions you want to answer. The smartest people I know ask a lot of questions, even "stupid" questions, and offer answers (even the "wrong" ones) in class.
I'm envious and wish I was starting school this fall. Hang in there, and like someone else said MAKE it a great day, and get back to us to let us know how it went!
I used to spend every first day of the school year in the bathroom with what my grandma used to call the loosey goosies. Overweight or not, it's a big day and there are nerves for everybody. Even the skinny folks.
So get in there and fake it. I did it for years and people really do respect confidence, real or not.
Location: Down in the dumps..but working my way out!
Posts: 907
Daphne
I've battled with this weight problem most of my life. One of the things I regret as I get older is that I let my size hold me back from really enjoying life. Don't get me wrong, I was always working on losing weight, but it was always for the wrong reason..I wanted people to like me. I never let people get close to me because I was afraid of being hurt. When I began to stop caring so much about other people's opinions I found that I had a lot of people around me who looked past my weight and wanted to know the person inside.
I admire you for going back to school and facing your fear head on. Please don't let your weight keep you from living your life to the fullest!
Daphne, I haved found that when I'm afraid of what other people will think, it's almost entirely my own bloated, 2-year-old ego (and boy, is my Inner Brat alive and well and expressing herself!) telling me I'm the center of the universe, and everybody is paying attention to ME. When in reality, they could't possibly care less, because they're too busy being the center of the universe, worrying about what I think of THEM. So we're all a bunch of little egos running around saying "ME! ME! ME!" so busy looking at ourselves that we forget to look out at the world. When I'm the happiest and least self conscious is when I make a DECISION not to think about myself for a single second TODAY, and turn my focus to the world and people around me, determined to contribute as much as I can to the happiness of the world instead of to what he world can give to me. Yeah, I know I'm coming to this emotional-maturity stuff a little later thanmost folks, but I'm moving in the right direction!
So just don't focus on yourself. Instead of "just do it," "Just don't do it!" It really works. Thanks for the reminder, kiddo -- I really needed it today.
I hear ya! School really can be a very scary place. It's much easier said than done to just "not care". Confidence is hard to come by. But remember, EVERYONE makes mistakes and has a "dumb answer" every now and then....even the skinny pretty perfect girls. It's always best to try. My first day day of college in my Psych 101 class, with about 200 people in a lecture hall, the prof asked a question....and no one raised their hand. I knew the answer. He waited. I'm not sure what demon possessed me, but I actually raised my hand. In a sea of people, I raised my hand...I was shaking and scared to death. Not only that I might have the answer completely messed up, but that every ear and eye was on me. But somehow, I managed to make coherent sentences, and gave a pretty intelligent answer. It felt good afterward, like despite my weight and all the issues that go with it, I am still capable of participating and doing things right. But that didn't change the fact that I was terrified. Every now and then it is good to push our boundaries. Sometimes we end up impressing ourselves, above all.
Thank you so much for all you support. I agree with everything you guys said and I know all of it is true. BUt it still is really alot easier said than done. BUt I did it. I was talking to myself all the way to school. Telling myself that no one is going to be looking at me and who cares if they are. I have just as much right to be there as anyone else.
So I get there and I was nervous but it was ok. I even made myself sit in the front of the class and I even asked a question. It is little but it is a start.
So thank again. I love everyone here. I am so glad that I found this website.
Scared and Afraid
Hang in there, and like someone else said MAKE it a great day, and get back to us to let us know how it went!
Daphne
