I have a DATE!!! - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

staciec878 · 08-14-2007, 04:55 PM

Well I was going to go on a date this weekend but Im having doubts. I dont know exactly what Im feeling like Im just scared. Scared of rejection. Im not sure if I should go. I have absoulety no confidence. I wasnt always like this just when my weight started to bother me. I was stuck at 208 for years and I didnt care that much. I had all the confidence in the world. I would walk in a place and I would have made sure I was the one shinning. Now thats gone. AS much as I really want to go out with a decent guy, which this one is. Im just scared and nervous. What do I do??????????

settie · 08-14-2007, 05:07 PM

What are you doing on your date? If you're going to a restaurant or something you don't need to think of it as a date - just meeting someone for dinner. You could take your own car if you're more comfortable - that way, if you want it to end sooner it's a lot easier. Take things slowly so if it isn't working you won't feel as tied into him. Try it - you might find him, and your time with him, very enjoyable.

afb0407 · 08-14-2007, 05:10 PM

honey you better be gettin ready for that date!!! Its not healthy to sit at the house on the weekend!!!!! lol jk...but seriously.....go!!! I of all people know that confidence is a VERY long constant struggle...but you have to overcome that! If he's a decent guy wanting to go with you....that should boost your confidence some.....and with a little tlc to yourself you'll be feeling great...or should be....because we are alllll BEAUTIFUL!!!

maryblu · 08-14-2007, 07:24 PM

I just heard Dr. Phil on the radio doing an ad for match.com (and for himself; he is somehow a part of it) What he said was so true. He said you may feel scared, anxious, whatever, and that's OK. What is not OK is using it for an excuse to sit on the sidelines.

Go for it; jump in and enjoy.

What is the worst that could happen? What is the worst that could happen? Imagine it, and then see yourself living through it........and go on.

Let us know how it goes!

techwife · 08-14-2007, 08:30 PM

Just remember, the date isn't just for him to check you out, but for YOU to check HIM out. Just relax and see him as a potential friend...if more develops, great, if not, you have a new friend. Don't put too much pressure on yourself for 'something to happen' because of one date. In the future, if you're really nervous, go on a group date with mutual friends. This way, there's not as much pressure to 'perform'...you can talk to the person next to you or whatever and not have only him to talk about and you can see how he is with other people, etc.

But, have fun and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Who knows...maybe it'll turn out he likes you and you're only so-so on him...

Good luck!!

GatorgalstuckinGA · 08-14-2007, 08:56 PM

what more do you have going on???? its just a date...not a life long commitment yet. Go out and enjoy it...who knows...you may not like him and then you spent all this time worring. Or you may like him and he likes you. The right person is going to like you weather you weight 200 or 100 lbs. Just go, relax, enjoy. If it doesn't work out...so what, you tried. Its better than sitting at home alone

GatorgalstuckinGA · 08-14-2007, 08:58 PM

btw...just noticed your height and weight (about the same as mine). My DH met me around my current weight. And love me for who i am...not what i am. And if you look at my avitar...i got a cutie. But what's even more important...he loves me for ME. weight and all...and the right person will feel the same. So go out....feel confident in yourself and enjoy

EZMONEY · 08-14-2007, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by staciec878

........... AS much as I really want to go out with a decent guy, which this one is. Im just scared and nervous. What do I do??????????

Being scared and nervous is common for first dates. Take a deep breath ~ take the advice you have been given from these smart ladies and HAVE A GREAT TIME!! That nervous stuff usually ends...the worst of it...by the time you order dinner!

annk · 08-16-2007, 01:06 AM

You'll be great! I went on a date a couple weekends ago and felt exactly the same way you did. While I don't think I'll see the guy again (just didn't feel a spark) I made sure I looked great, was myself, smiled a lot and had fun. You ARE worthy, he IS lucky to be going out with you and you DO deserve love just like the rest of us!!!

Have fun!

Ann

staciec878 · 08-16-2007, 02:02 AM

Thsnk you all for these comments. Im going!!!!!! I got some confidence today when I saw one of my guy friends today who I havent seen in a while. And he hit on me!!!! So that right therehuge confidence booster!!!!

maryblu · 09-11-2007, 10:36 PM

Stacie,

Inquiring minds WANT TO KNOW. How did it go??

staciec878 · 09-11-2007, 10:40 PM

Well we kinda met up when I was in the middle of celebrating my birthday weekend. So I wouldnt exactly call it a date. I probaly should have waited to see him again because again I was celebrating my birthday and was completly wasted. And I havent talked to him since but Im fine with that. Just becuase someone found me attractive doesnt mean I have to settle. And besides he was kinda boring, he couldnt even start a conversation with me. So really how far would that have went??

kaplods · 09-12-2007, 12:36 AM

I'm not saying you should or shouldn't give a guy a second chance, but my husband and I met through a personal ad I placed, so we talked on the phone and in email before we met. He was so funny and interesting on the phone and in email, and SOOOO completely boring in person. He hardly said a word, and I felt like an idiot jabbering on. I know I probably wouldn't have given him a second chance, if I didn't know that the funny person on the phone and in emails was in there somewhere. It took him a few dates before he came out of his shell.

I always suggest to my single sister to give a guy three dates before deciding whether he's not for her (that is if he's just underthrilling, not if he's a jerk or obviously not for her).

K8-EEE · 09-12-2007, 02:23 AM

Hey, you went! That's the important thing....! They can't all be gems, but you can't find any gems at all unless you take chances and get out there. Good for you!