Okay, I'm having one of those bad moments, the ones where you sit there and go "is this worth it? Is this all I'm ever going to see out of this? Why am I still doing this?"
So I thought, to cheer myself up, I could go find some old pics of me, and compare them to more recent shots to see the difference.
Scary thing is, despite about 15 lbs lost, I seriously can't see the difference. I'm hoping - desperately - that it's just my perception of myself playing havoc with me again. But I need some independent verification if I'm going to believe that, and I don't have anyone IRL that I want seeing the older shots. Or, ****, the recent shots either. I hate how I look in pics.
Do you guys see any difference here? The left pic is from sometime in October, 2006, at a family gathering (the face in the background is my dad, in case anyone cared). The one on the right is one I took about a month ago to show a friend online (okay, potential date. And isn't it telling that she stood me up?) what I look like. And I really don't see much difference between the two.
Thanks for putting up with my insecurities, you guys. You collectively rock.
are you kidding?? you actually look like you lost over 20 pounds. You have a lot more definition in your waist and face. But i think many of us can understand where you're coming from. you see yourself everyday and you gradually get thinner but your eyes get to accustomed to the continuously new you.
You Look Great! keep it up!!
Thank you guys. As far as sizing, I'm about three sizes at once, apparently. In tops, the 14/16 at Lane Bryant fits me very comfortably, but there's a little bit too much room around the waist in any top that's not stretchy-type material. But at normal stores, I'm an XL usually. Jeans? I'm mostly wearing a slightly elderly pair of size 16's, but I HAVE to have a belt or they'll slide down to the absolute bottom of my hips and hang there like my panties really NEED to play peekaboo with the world. I have a couple pairs of 14s that are wearable; I can zip and button them without too much issue, but they're snug enough to give me a bit of muffin-top and so I have to be really careful what shirts I wear those jeans with.
I guess the jeans are fitting better than they were at that point. I didn't used to need the belt, I just remembered that. I bought the belt in December, when I finally got sick of hitching my pants up one Saturday while I was out sailing and stopped at Kmart on my way home (which then led to the unfortunate purchase of a whole buch of Yule decor that I don't really need, but I have my own apartment for the first time this year, so I was really excited about that). And I'm trying to remember, but I think it used to buckle on hole #4 if I sucked it in, #3 if I wanted to be comfortable. It now buckles on #5, which is the tightest it gets, without the slightest hesitation. In fact, when I yank on the belt to buckle it in the morning, if I'm in a hurry I'll yank it an inch or so past where the last holes are and have to release it back.
Hunh. Perspective. I'm so glad I decided to bug you guys with this.
Okay, you know what? I am thinking the jeans in pic 1 are not the 16s I've been wearing for the past few months. They're way darker, and these jeans are pretty faded. Those might actually be an old pair of size 18s I was given by my mom's neighbor after she lost a bunch of weight.
Wow, that makes me feel better. I swear I'd started to feel like I was going to be stuck as a size 16 forever...
For what it's worth, I think you look FANTASTIC -- I see a huge difference between the photos (esp. in the face and waist, like others have said), and I think that girl who stood you up definitely missed out! (Seriously -- very, very pretty -- and you should be incredibly proud of how far you've come.)
I'm SO relieved. I'm serious, I was getting into a major funk over this, and it's the kind of mood that can trigger a trip to 7-11 for some seriously off-plan junk food. Yay! I have PERSPECTIVE!
Thank you guys so much. I'm starting a 3-week self-challenge tomorrow morning, so the encouragement (not to mention the perspective, because did I mention that? I have PERSPECTIVE now!) is really helpful.
But it's true that the perception we have of ourselves can be truly flawed at times. I still have a hard time finding the differences now compared to when I was 10 kgs heavier (that's something like 22 lbs I think?), while I KNOW there are differences! Maybe it's because we're so used to our old bodies, and need more than just a few weeks (months... years? ) of adjustment in order to be able to realize!
Is this progress?
on your weightloss...
) of adjustment in order to be able to realize!
