Karen ~ my 4 year old daughter is completely potty trained during the daytime but I've gone back to putting Goodnights on her. They're much better than Pull-ups. Like you, I was so tired of washing sheets every single day. When we decided to put our house up for sale, I decided that I could not be changing her sheets every single day so I went out and bought a package of Goodnights. She doesn't like wearing them but she has to until she stops wetting the bed. She's my youngest and I refuse to stress out about it. Just isn't worth it. Someone once told me not to worry about potty training as the day will come when my child will be walking down the aisle and at that point, they'll be potty trained. If they're not, then it's their spouses problem;-).
Jnn: my son will be 9 in April and he's going thru the same thing pretty much as your son. He could care less about grooming. Actually, it seems like he's very proud of being stinky... It's frustrating as I still bathe him just to make sure that his body (and teeth) are getting cleaned. His 6 year old little sister has been doing this all by herself for over a year now and does a better job than some adults that I know. All of my friends tell me that this is a phase and right as you adjust, another phase kicks in... Good luck!