Sometimes I just get so sick and tired of people complaining about their weight. They call themselves fat, while sitting their eating a cheeseburger. They say that they've tried, EVERYTHING to lose weight. They've done what the doctor said and it still didn't work and blah blah... it just gets frustrating because there IS a way that will work. Plain and simple, consume less than you use. (I know some people have medical problems and whatnot, but those aren't the people I'm referring to.)
It just sucks when people bring you down with their negativity. It's been getting on my nerves so much lately... listening to people whine about how they can't lose weight and they've tried everything. How they did everything their doctor said but they can't help going to mcdonalds every day for lunch because they don't have another option. How they want to lose weight but they REFUSE to give up their 1400 calorie mocha-latte-whatever-with extra whipped cream.
Urgh. Sorry. I guess this was just a rant to get my feelings out. I know I'm not being sympathetic, but I'M SICK OF HEARING OF IT! Rawr.
I sometimes have a hard time being patient or sympathetic with others, which isn't a surprise since I also have a hard time being patient with myself.
Losing weight isn't easy. I've been trying to take it off, and keep it off, and failing miserably at both, most of my life (I was put on my first diet when I was five).
I used to get extremely annoyed with people complaining or whining about their weight problems in front of me, if they had less to lose than I (which was almost everyone). If the person had less than 50 lbs to lose, it would actually make me extremely angry - what a jerk to complain about weight loss to me. It felt like someone whining about a cold to a person with terminal cancer.
Maybe time has mellowed me, or I've just come to accept that we all have our struggles and blind spots in our life, each as big to us as they are, and change for anyone is much easier said than accomplished.
lovelypurple, you bring up something that I've noticed people, and actually, I mean women, doing a lot. Talking about how fat they are while eating the "wrong" foods. It's like a social game--that's what it feels like to me. "Look how naughty we're being, tee hee!" And everyone is supposed to join in and say "Tsk tsk, yeah, it's terrible, have another serving."
If someone eating a Big Mac told me they "can't" lose weight, I would want to right-out say to them, "Do you know that burger has 900 calories?" Well, it would ruin their lunch, and maybe our friendship. So, I might say something less confronting, like, "It's all in the choices we make." With a smile.
Or I might not say anything. I'm the one trying to lose weight, not that person--obviously!
But I do know what you mean about feeling annoyed!
Before I changed my lifestyle, I was full of excuses on why I couldn't lose weight. Slow metabolism, no time to exercise, couldn't afford the special food, fatigue, shortness of breath, medications, ravenous appetite. You name it, I had an excuse for it. So, I can understand people when they complain and make excuses. After all, I did the same thing.
After making my lifestyle changes and learning to my surprise that my metabolism is normal, that a short walk doesn't take all day, that fatigue is actually lessened by exercise, that you won't die if you feel a little hungry at times, that a pill doesn't cause a 50 lb. weight gain, that salad and fruit and veggies and lean meat is no more expensive than KFC, McDonalds and Taco Bell and that the reason I was short of breath was that I was so darn fat, it strained my body to move: I gave up the excuses.
I feel that for a person to make the necessary lifestyle changes, they have to stop the denial and excuses. It doesn't bother me at all if someone asks How I lost weight or What might help them. . . I have had people say "I have tried every diet plan known to man it just didn't work". Unless there is something medically wrong, I don't know how this could be the case. Like myself, I figure these people will seriously lose weight when they stop the excuses and just do something about it.
I have a friend from high school like that. she is always going to the doctor ,she is soooooooooooo sure there is something wrong with her, well thee is she eats fast food ANY time of day. She eats what she wants when she wants and makes the wrong food choices. she blames meds but I have told her (her doc has too) that if she looses weight and eats better ahe will be off the meds but unless SHE wants to change there is nothing that culd be done. I feel for the doctor that she will not listen to all these appointments he has to listen to her wine when if she would take his advice her problems would be gone .
That is soooo my husband. He asked me yesterday to get him a bunch of Healthy Choice meals. I asked why and he said "I lost a bunch of weight on them before." Yea, you could lose a bunch of weight if you would eat ALOT smaller portions and eat better stuff, but that 3rd or 4th little debbie snack cake you just ate probably isn't helping!! His answer was "Just because you lost weight eating regular food (good foods, smaller portions) doesn't mean everyone else can lose it that way" ....Umm if you tried it would!!
What about those who get the stomach stapling surgery but are still obese because they literally eat what they want when they want it, with reckless abandon. Some people still have to have their pizza with pepperoni and salad has to be covered with high fat dressing, cheese and lunch meat (chef's salad etc). Hey, if you have a big appetite, at least try to substitute for lower cal options when possible (e.g. veggies on the pizza rather than pepperoni).
LOL, I literally just fired off an email to my mom, who constantly complains about her weight, to me. Apparently, always being the fat person in the family, I of all people should be more understanding. In the email I included pictures, the last time they came through here we went to Shoney's BBQ night, I had a plate, regular portions, 1 trip to the buffet, mainly fresh fruits and veggies, same for my kids. My mom made 3 trips. 3!! I was taking pictures of the kids with their grandparents and unintentionally, some of the pics included people's plates, and all of hers showed her with something new in front of her. I know they live in an RV,<she does LOCUM work, so they travel ALOT>, and I know with limited storage and facilities it's a bit harder to eat well, but when you eat out 7 times a week, they need to be the best choices you can make. They really do. I tried explaining that just because I'm the fat person in the family doesn't make me any more sympathetic, because if I can break my bad habits, I feel she can too. She was always uber skinny, my entire life, so as much as I want to say, "I knew all that bs trash talk you use to give me would come back and bite you in the butt", I didn't. I just pointed out the difference in our plates and how she may not think she eats that much, but seriously, the proof is in the pictures. I love her, but if I get one more email bemoaning her weight gain or her newest fad idea on how you can spot reduce or drop 25 pounds in 7 days if you sleep all day, I may lose it.
Yeah, isn't that the pits!... But maybe she wants your help? Maybe you're the one that she would naturally look to, since you have lost weight.
Probably everything you say falls on deaf ears, but if she's still contacting you, think of it as she is still trying, even if it does seem like whining.
If you are going to whine and complain, you'd better be able to back up your complaining with more (or is it less) evidence of healthy eating and movement.
canadian mom, I can so identify with your friend. I can't tell you how many times I told my Dr. "there must be something wrong with me, I just can't lose weight". DUH. He wasn't sympathetic and never once gave into my request for diet pills. I wanted a quick fix. I didn't want to have to learn new coping behaviors and lay off the JUNK.
Angihas, your mom sounds like my sister. At any given time there is 5-6 bottles of diet pills in her kitchen that she ordered off TV. She had the ear stapling. She did nothing but cabbage soup. She is constantly telling me all the overnight , Miracle ways to lose weight. And she is getting bigger and bigger. I have tried to be helpful, but you can't lose weight for someone else. She wants it done pronto and never gives anything a chance for more than a few days. I actually quit trying to help at all when she started saying that I went "overboard " and am "anorexic".
I try not to let it bother me - after all they can't make ME eat it. If I'm feeling particularly smug I just revel in my own superiority and count their calories in my head
I totally agree with Jay though and the "tee hee, aren't we naughty". Food seems to be the one socially acceptable addiction. You wouldn't dream of pushing another drink on an alcoholic or say "go on, just one won't hurt" re cigarettes to someone who just quit. It's ridiculous.
Angihas2: My grandparents live in their RV, too. I'm really proud of them, though. They're both 60 and after my grandpa went to the hospital for heart issues, they've all lost a ton of weight. Even while living in their RV.
Everyone: This kind of stuff I would never say to the peoples faces... which is why I think it comes off kind of harsh, here. It just gets really frustrating and I know I was probably like that too, but I know you girls understand.
I've been having this problem recently with people in my family - they want to lose weight, and moan about the fact that they seem to be unable to do so, and claim that they have no idea why. But then I turn around and see my mother bring a chocolate cake to the table that literally weighs 10 lbs, and ask who wants some. My mother's excuse is that it's just too hard to resist the food she loves, but when I make the suggestion of simply not having it in the house, it gets ignored, or more excuses are offered.
"It was on sale."
"Oh, it was just an impulse purchase."
"But everyone needs a little chocolate sometimes."
In the end, it's much easier to make excuses than it is to make actual changes, and people tend to fall into that trap. My brother started weight watchers, and was on it for about a week, before giving up and blaming his lack of time for it. The real reason is that he doesn't want to give up the daily fast food meals he has with his girlfriend.
I know that I can't make anyone eat healthy foods, they have to make the right choices on their own; but it's difficult to know the health problems my family is facing and listen to them complain about being fat when they're obviously making the wrong choices.
Sometimes I get frustrated by other people.
and count their calories in my head 
