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Old 02-20-2001, 12:46 AM   #17
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Boy - I guess we all have spring fever early - not much posting from my quarter anyway. In truth I am making a real effort not to be as web-connected, and yes I did the reading deprivation exercise and found it illuminating. I truly wish there were 50 hours in a day, enough time for all pursuits, but we really have to put thought into what we do and when. But I love to be connected and think of you all every day.

Especially when I am walking. Yes, we finally got first snow, and now glorious sunny weather with beautiful, Travel-Brochure snow on the mountains and trees. I have been taking walks as I can, doing things a little more simply and immediately. It is like I FORGET, again and again, that it doesn't have to be Olympian in scope, gee even a 10-minute walk has many benefits, and the mental benefits of a real (as opposed to treadmill) walk is just out of this world. So that, a little ballet, the aerobics class when it works out (DH had his car in the shop last week so I was really the shuttle service, so didn't make it).

Catherine - my last ballet class was really disheartening, don't get too impressed. The first class had me in tears. The second class there was only me and another beginner so I believe she sort of slowed down to our level - it was challenging but I felt I did okay and was hopeful. The third class she was out of town and the director, a young man from Austria, taught the class. I thought he was much easier to understand (ironic if you could hear his accent). Last week the regular teacher was back and the more experienced dancers were in place. My problem is when she asks for a sequence I am unsure of the actual order of steps, she is demanding hands here toes there suck it in, etc., etc., and I have to watch someone and can't keep up with the steps. I need to know the steps before I can concentrate and refinements. In truth I need the class to be a shade more "beginner" than it is, but I don't think there is enough interest (not enough brave non-ballet adults game to try) so I will have to struggle along. Tonight I will see how it goes. If it is awful again, my plan is to just ask about doing the barre only to get some skills, and then fall try again with the other sequences. Raychel does that make sense?

One of the side effects of my hyperbusy life is I am not cooking as much. And as a consequence, DH has no, absolutely NO self-meter that calls for vegetables, fruit, anything good. Last saturday in the afternoon he had chips, then he had a steak at noon the next day, and then I think it was a pocket calzone that is like 80% fat. I find that kind of eating alarming! Fine to have each and any in moderation, but. So, I agree we women have to be the leaders, and it is sometimes a crushing responsibility. I know men who care about nutrition, but I didn't get one as a partner. He gets doughnuts for the kids "just this once" several times a month. I would prefer that my children didn't know what a doughnut is. Or if they thought the bakeries only made them twice a year, on special occasions.

It is another glorious day today, and I hope to do some walking. I have one of my basket parties this afternoon. I am wondering to myself how long I will do the baskets. It is really fun, and I am in fact doing pretty well with it - I do good sales and have one recruit who has signed up and is herself doing well. But once I have all the baskets and stuff for my house that I want I will have to sit and ponder - again there is that time thing. It doesn't take up that much time, but then again I don't have much to spare.

I have had some work stress, a conflict with a client that has taken a lot of my attention and given me lots to rant about in my journal. (Yes I am keeping a daily personal journal now.) It is great to have a place to take all that hurt-feelings/injustice energy and write about it in a private manner. I have also been exploring that one of my big themes is a 'popularity' issue. I like/need to be liked and am happiest if I am, frankly, popular. Between my natural limitations in ballet (I am enjoying the class but I just don't have what it takes, so it is humbling) and dealing with some criticism in work - I have realized that getting the old skin toughened up and facing my own popularity "thing" for what it is is very helpful at this time in my life as I ponder how to make some transformations. Ultimately, however, my job represents "golden handcuffs" at the moment - gotta stay with it for now, financially. Trying to trust God that it is all bits of kindling for my own artist fire - and to believe it.

I didn't mean to delve into "more than you wanted to know" territory there.

Well, I had best get my basket papers in order, make some phone calls, bask in the tub and think about life. Enjoy your health and do something good for you every single day!