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Old 02-01-2007, 05:21 PM   #6
tikanique
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,102

S/C/G: 202/144/Lean/Fit

Height: 5'2

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I remember one day a few years back, I was working hard to lose weight but was in the first 4 days of it so the cravings were worse. I walked by a co-workers office that always kept chocolate on his desk in a huge jar. I wanted some so bad that I began to physically shake. I'll never forget that.

I also remember times as recently as last month sitting at my desk, physically ill and nauseous from eating so much junk out of the vending machine. I hated myself for eating to the point of illness. However, the minute I got past filling ill, I was right back down the hall. I got so mad one day when the junk that I wanted got stuck in the machine, I stopped working, went down to my bank, got enough change and emptied out the entire row of that goodie. I lied to myself that I was going to eat only one a day. However, by 5PM all 10 packs of the crap were in my body.

When I'm on a binge cycle I detest myself so much I just let everything go. Then it's like a light pops on, I can focus and not make dumb choices and everything is fine for about 6 months and then something happens and I lose the control and the scale goes up and my feeling of self-worth goes right back down.

Tiki
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1/2012 - 202 lbs. 6/2012 - 155 lbs. 12/2012 - 140 lbs. Current weight 144. Goal - LEAN MACHINE!
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