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Old 01-23-2007, 04:28 PM   #8
Su-Bee
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Waterloo, Ontario
Posts: 597

S/C/G: 157/133.4/130

Height: 5'5"

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I was never worried about my weight. Throughout university and grad school, I was probably between 145 & 160 most of the time, and I liked how I looked. I thought I was attractive, sexy, etc. I knew I wasn't skinny, but it didn't bother me in the slightest. I didn't wear cover-ups over my bathing suits. I wore tops that showed my tummy. I worked out a lot, so I was more muscle than flab, and in photos from those days, I still don't think I looked half-bad.

Then I moved in with a guy who would grab my love handles, and say things that made me not feel so attractive.

The first day I got on the scale at this point, I was at 148. Over about a year and a half, I dropped down to a low of 122. It didn't come off all at once. I'd lose 4 or 5 pounds, then maintain for a while, then lose another 4 or 5. Some people thought I had lost too much weight, but I thought they were just jealous. But sometimes I got hungry. Once I ate half a cheesecake in my sleep.

The boyfriend dumped me, and I moved out on my own. Within about eight months, I'd gotten up to the 132-136 range. I liked it there. I looked good, I was comfortable, I wasn't hungry.

I stayed there until I met my husband. I went up to about 150 when we first started dating (comfort?), dropped back to 135 for our wedding, and then within a year was at 157, which is where I'm trying to come back down from now.

I have 120 as my goal, but that's to keep me from getting complacent and thinking I am close so I can stop trying - really I'd be happy back at that 132-136 range. But it's hard this time. I don't remember it being hard before. Every day is a struggle. I can't seem to move the scale below 145 to save my life. Maybe I'm older and my metabolism has changed, maybe I don't care enough any more, even though I think I do. I've tried calorie-counting, which I've never done before - all I've learned is that calories in v. calories out isn't the nice mathematical formula it seems to be. I've bought a scale, for the first time in my life - and discovered how easy it is to obsess with that number, without seeing it go anywhere.

That's about it for me!
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