Can "Praise" HURT??? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Trazey34 · 01-16-2007, 09:27 AM

Maybe it's just me, but when I get too many pats on the back for the "GREAT job I'm doing" heheh it's like 10 pounds! hahha, I start thinking "GEE, i AM fabulous...I deserve that cinnamon bun"

Of course I didn't HAVE the bun, instead I tried on pants that barely can get past my KNEES to put things into perspective.

I wondered if anyone else had dealt with this strange phenomenon... almost like too much credit or praise can HURT???

Nancydream · 01-16-2007, 09:41 AM

Hi Trazey -

You know, for me, it's that same sabotage trap in different clothing. You're totally right about the reward thing -- it's the "stinkin' thinkin'" (to quote an OA saying) that trips me up.

My biggest challenge is to counteract my tendency to stop forward progress toward my goal. It always happens. Usually when I've reached some point I haven't been at in a while. I can only think part of me is afraid of the successful outcome, or the unfamiliar territory of success. Or being fat is what I know, and I don't know what being thin is like any more. The issues lurking below the fat are exposed!

Keep up the fabulous work! I hope I can also recognize these things as they come up and stop before the cinnamon bun like you!

Mrs Quadcrew · 01-16-2007, 10:11 AM

Quote:

I can also recognize these things as they come up and stop before the cinnamon bun like you!

Me too, and that is why I come here everyday - reach for the keyboard instead of the cinnamon bun!!

JennyWenny · 01-16-2007, 10:12 AM

I don't handle praise well. Maybe it stems from never getting much of it (outside of parents), that I don't know how to handle it. Since starting this journey, I have told very few people because I don't want the praise. I know it sounds odd. But part of me thinks that if I tell, then they expect more and what if I don't give them more? (Making since?!?) I want to make sure I can keep going before I let others know.

Casey4 · 01-16-2007, 10:27 AM

I can definitely relate to what you are saying. And Jenny, you too! It is hard to examine for me and I think it has to do with my self worth. Like maybe I am not 1) not good enough to get there and 2) don't deserve it. Goodness, I have found myself writing stuff on this site that I have never and would never tell a single soul. Thanks for the free therapy!

I am hoping that as I change my inner voice and change my habits these thoughts will be replaced with powerful and positive ones!

BarrieMomof2 · 01-16-2007, 10:56 AM

My husband is so great, but when he keeps telling me he loves me just the way I am, then I get it in my head that I don't need to change and work on me. Of course that makes me want to eat all the junk I am used to eating!
Right now I keep a picture of me on my fridge at my highest weight, which still looks alot like me now...lol, but that gives me motivation to keep working on this journey! I see that picture and of course its one I really don't like, and it gives me the strength to keep going!

I never did get a whole lot of praise growing up, not that my parents didn't try, but I had older siblings that were quite the handful and they were too busy dealing with them the majority of the time.
I just don't do well with praise. I have never felt like I deserve it. But I'm working on that one.....one day at a time!

GirlyGirlSebas · 01-16-2007, 11:16 AM

Yes, I do think praise can hurt. When I get too much praise, I start to think "Yeah, I am doing great. Nothing can stop me now! I'm on a roll" Then, when things get tough....ie temptation or stress...and I realize that its still very very difficult...I'm not on that emotional high and I can get a bit down and think about quitting. That's why I'm so grateful that my hubby is doing this with me and that I found 3FC. The support and encouragement help me keep things in perspective.

Sheila53 · 01-16-2007, 11:56 AM

For me right now, the praise does make me think, hey, I'm looking good at this weight because everyone is telling me I do so why should I go on losing? When I was heavier, I enjoyed hearing it, and it motivated me to lose more, but right now it's kind of a hindrance.

shelby897 · 01-16-2007, 01:55 PM

I've been hiding behind my weight so long, praise has the opposite effect that it should on me. I start to wonder -- if they are praising me for weight loss, what did they think of me before I lost the weight. It also takes me off guard and makes me feel like superman, and I always fall off the wagon -- I guess I get cocky and think I must be doing amazing if someone notices and then I forgot how hard I have to work at this.