We are a group of non-traditional lifestyle individuals. We are partnered, single, widowed, Pagan, Atheist, Agnostic, Christian, Muslim, gay, bi-sexual, bi-colored and straight. We bask in our diversity and unite in the same goal of losing weight. If you are relatively open-minded and accepting of ALL walks of life, please join us.
You know, I was reading over everyone's posts and realizing it's January, chicks...everyone's struggling to get OP and stay there for a little while. I think winter is rough, and all those holidays are rough, and now we're trying hard to jump back onto that wagon. (My apologies if I overlooked anyone who's already riding it!)
I have been trying to look at my program from a more spiritual angle, especially in light of my renewed attempt to lead a more religious life. I have a suspicion that I won't be successful until I really deep down feel a conviction not to overeat and to stay OP. It's hard to explain. At any rate, I have been examining my current state of affairs and it began to occur to me that perhaps there's an element of depression in there. I keep b**ching that I want my new life to start and I'm sick of this life, but I think I'm not just anxious and frustrated, but a little sad too. I think between being sad and being frustrated on multiple counts, I'm not limiting my food intake b/c it's the only comfort I have. Since I met the Guy, even though we're not in regular contact anymore my own loneliness has really been emphasized to me. (In about a week it will be a year since DH and I separated, can you believe it?) And it's winter, which is my crappiest time of year; I hate the cold, so I really can't stand to go out for a walk -- or to go out for any reason. I always feel like I'm holding myself tight waiting for it all to pass. Fortunately, the weather's been warmer than normal the past few days; I even slept with a window open last night. So those are all my challenges to address. I have to find a way to keep my fire stoked until I'm really out of here.
Amy, in your last thread you asked about DD and Spain. Yesterday DD decided she wants to drop an honors class that apparently she's on the verge of failing. I told her that after discussing it with her guidance counselor, and then with a couple admissions officers at schools she applied to (didn't hear from Spain yet b/c of the time difference), it's probably not a good idea to change her schedule from what was originally presented to them. When I talked to DD about it, she was adamant nevertheless, and then it came out that she was doing poorly in the class. I told her that if it's a withdraw/pass that's one thing, but if it's a withdraw/fail, she might lose her admitted status to Spain. She is still insistent, though, that she wants to drop it. The guidance counselor wants my permission, even though DD is 18, and I have to talk to her today about it (midterms are next week). I debated putting my foot down and not giving permission, but I think I am going to go with letting her decide, in keeping with my parental philosophy that at a certain point letting them make their own decisions and face the consequences of their actions is the best choice. I have explained everything to her, so she knows the possible outcomes. And I have told her -- repeatedly over time -- that I plan to be living in a studio apartment come the fall, and it won't be an option for her to live with me there if she screws up her own chances of going to college. Tough love? Life is tough, and bad decisions make it tougher. The sooner you learn that, the better. If she can't get her stuff together enough to pass classes now, and thinks simply withdrawing is an option, maybe she doesn't belong in college right now. She can always work and go to school part-time, and would probably do better as she matures. Look at how many of us work and go to school, myself included -- it's hard, but it's possible. If she pulls this crap in college, she'll be wasting money, which is really unacceptable.
I've had difficulty not stuffing myself these past few days, when my energy is very low and I'm sleepy I want to snack. Carbs too.
Had a banana, applesauce and 2 toasts this morning, and feel nicely stuffed. After the kids go to school I'm going to have a hot bath. Today I'll fold clothes, put some away perhaps, and putter. This weekend John is working a lot so aside from playing Euchre tomorrow night we're having a rather calm weekend.
On Feb 2nd there is something going on at the Royal Botanical Gardens called Seedy Saturday, where you go and exchange and purchase seeds from people. It's a way of keeping certain strains of heritage plants from disappearing. I've convinced hubby to go, I think it'll be nice to dream about the coming spring a bit. I have a lot of landscaping to do in my side garden this year.
Gray and dreary here! Guess that means no run, can't afford to get sick! Which adds up to a morning or whole day of playing catch up on my reading, which adds up to a day of having to worry about food! Grrrrr~
Sometimes my inner child is cranky and won't do what clearly needs to be done. So I try to keep in touch with my inner parent as well. (No wonder I'm large -- it's crowded in there!)
The deal is this: When I wake in the morning, even if I don't WANT to go walking, I have to get dressed and try it for five minutes. If I feel like crawling back into bed after five minutes -- I DO! No guilt, no lectures. It means that I probably need the rest, or at least the chance to be out from under the yoke of my responsibilities for that morning.
But you know what? Nineteen times out of 20, I keep walking.
I walked my first full marathon three weeks ago, weighing 242 pounds. That's 26.2 miles!! And I did it all thanks to those five minutes I made myself do throughout training.
Now my inner child and inner grownup are collaborating on our next big goal for June: Lose 25 pounds (6 pounds gone so far this month!), walk the Rock & Roll Marathon in San Diego .... and then we're all doing a parachute jump for our 42nd birthday!
Welcome Venus, and that's a pretty cool philosophy. I have a whole lot of things I need to force my inner child to do these days...
How do you walk marathons? Do they let you register and you just walk instead of run, or is there a walking section?
I am enjoying a very nice white bean and kale soup from Whole Foods for lunch. I have decided to stop buying foods whose ingredients I can't pronounce. It feels good, even though I'm paying a little more.
Time to go back to work .
Venus, join our group! I want to hear about your progress now!
Thank you for the welcome, Ruthie! It's great to be able to ''hang out'' with such inspiring folks!
I joined WW two years ago, at 311 pounds. After I'd lost 50 pounds and felt comfortable with my new activity level, a friend and I decided to step things up a bit and walk a marathon. We joined Team in Training, a part of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society that trains endurance athletes who fundraise to fight blood-related cancers. (I'm a breast-cancer and leukemia survivor.)
A lot of marathons allow walkers, though many of the larger ones expect all participants to be done with the full 26.2 miles in 7 hours or less. Team in Training works with runners, walkers, cyclists, and triathletes to train for several different events -- so you can choose an event that's matched to your abilities. The walkers and runners start at the same time and do the same course ... we walkers just finish later (MUCH later!).
I've lost a total of 75 pounds since joining WW. Despite all the high-level working out, I lost only 25 pounds in the past year -- probably because training at that intensity builds muscle, which weighs more ... (and it's been tough to accept that! I keep thinking, "DANG! I work out enough -- I should be a stringbean by now!").
Team in Training asked if I'd be a mentor for other walkers this year, and I'm going to do that this fall. Spring is for weight loss, and for getting one more marathon under my belt before I coach others. Who knows? If I meet my mini weight-loss goal, I might be running by fall ......
Every day's still hard, though. As I know y'all know!! I HATE struggling with the eating issues. When does that end?!??!?!
Tomarrow I'm going to reaquaint myself with a sewing machine! I'm going to make 2 door snakes and some skirting to go around the bottom of my L shaped table in my craft room to be secured with velcro to the table (so you can't see all the crap I have shoved under the table!). I'm looking forward to re-learning to sew! Eventually I need to remove the door from my bedroom into the master bath. It's in a really funky place and I want to replace it with a real lush curtain of some sort. Gotta brush up on my sewing skills before I do that!
Amyjo - a nurse! How wonderful!!! My Aunt's a nurse... I'd love to be around the new mommies too - and to see a C-section! I watch the TV programs that show babies being born all the time - I don't want one (not gonna be a mom in this life I think), I just love watching them come into the world with that "this AGAIN???" look on their faces.
Ruthie - Yes, winter can be the pits. I just moved from CA where winter is, well, a joke, to central Oregon where from the week after Thanksgiving to the week before last we had NO SUN. NONE. I was crying, depressed and thought I was gonna hurt someone... add into that the life changes you've gone through and it's no doubt you feel a little "off". The year I divorced and moved to Oregon I was gonna change my life and be everything that I knew I was. Instead I spent the first year+ wallowing in a "why isn't life grand" phase. Heck, it's been 3 years and I'm still trying to finish becoming the person I know I am deep inside. So goes being in your 30's though I guess...
Anyway, yes, winter can be bad - too bad it's also one of my favorite times of year. I love rain, snow and blustery weather... it just makes me suicidal...
Lamorgan - Seedy Saturday sounds wonderful! I have 5 acres I need to do something with once we are out of our frost. I've never had a yard, so going from a houseplant to 5 acres is going to be scary! May my thumb be green and the deer go elsewhere to snack...
VenusEnvy - Welcome!!! I agree with your "just 5 minutes". I do that when I walk out the garbage. I have a 280 foot long driveway and it never fails that once I get to the end of it I've talked myself into walking the mile and back that is to the furthest next street and home. As for the parachute... you go right ahead... I've got a perpetual fear of hights (as in my kitchen step stool makes my head spin). You have fun though!!
Well, have a great weekend everyone! I'm outta here until Monday!
Terri
Last edited by Punkinseed; 01-25-2002 at 04:27 PM.
Venus, welcome to our group! You are an inspiration already...marathons no less!
Ruthie, I'm really struggling too. Find myself eating comfort food just because I want to, not because I'm hungry. I haven't done horribly this week, just not as well as I want to. I am beyond tired of being this size, but just can't seem to get it all together at the same time to have some effect. I seem to either get the exercise OR the diet on track, but the other lapses. I am back to journalling tomorrow. Even if I 'm not OP, at least I have to face myself in writing.
I've hurt my back, and I don't know how or exactly what it is. I got out bed Tuesday morning and couldn't straighten up, then had a horrible sharp pain that seems to radiate out from my lower back up under my ribcage. Now I have a constant dull ache more on the right side, but both sides hurt just below my waist in my lower back. I'm taking my Naprosyn that I have for my hands, but after being at work all day, it's really sore.
Lamorgan, wish I had a garden, I miss having one.
Punkin, glad to hear you're taking up sewing again. I was a seamstress by trade at one time, and have been sewing since I was only 8 years old. If you have any questions, feel free to ask and I'll see if I can explain it so it makes sense without actually being able to show you.
Well, I walked by the mirror tonight and thought, hey I don't look that bad. So I stopped and went back to look again, and I really don't look that awful. I'm overweight, but I'm aight. I am really working on just feeling good about myself and focusing on other things than gotta be thin, gotta be thin, gotta be thin. You know what? When I was thin I was living a life of chaos and a lot of unhappiness. Terri, you're right, we make a life change and we expect perfection. The **** with perfection -- I want to be the best I can be in the areas that are important to me. I know once I accept myself I will stop overeating. I feel like I'm really, really on the verge of a breakthrough in how I think about the weight I've gained. (Staying away from my sister has been very important in that effort, BTW. She's thin and chaotic and unhappy....)
I have been wrestling all day (and yesterday, to tell the truth, and for a couple weeks, to be really honest) with my feelings about the Guy. I feel so strongly about him and i want to talk to him, but at the same time I can't accept the messed up things about his situation, so my brain wants me to stay away until he straightens it out (if he does). I didn't realize how lonely I was until I started talking to him, and now I'm like, damn, sometimes I hate being alone.
All right, I've posted too much today and I'm blabbering. Sorry.
Wildfire, take care of yourself. Hope you're feeling better. Venus, I want to do Team in Training (have a close relative with a rare form of lymphoma). Where do I sign up?
Ruthie, I have those moments, too, when I think "hey, I look pretty good today"....why can't they last? Before I know what's happened I'm back at the bottom hating myself for not losing this weight yet. I know I am much harder on myself than other people see me....if I was really as horrible as I think I am, strange men wouldn't flirt with me, and the guys at work wouldn't compliment me like they do. Not to mention my husband thinks I am beautiful and tells me so a few times a day. I just can't believe it when I'm not happy with me. I completely hate the media and the fashion industry for twisting our minds they way have. Regarding the Guy, you know you're doing what's best if he has some things in his life that are messed up. You don't want to take on someone else's problems just when you're on your way to getting your own life going in the direction you've been waiting for. It wouldn't hurt to have dinner with him now and then, and keep in touch. You know, there are benefits to being single that I miss...not having to clean up behind anyone, coming and going when and how you please without having to consider someone else and their schedule, cooking what/when you want to...but I know it doesn't make up for the companionship and just having someone there to lean on.
Okay, today is brand new day, fresh start and all that stuff....I am going to do my best to stay OP, journal, and drink my water....despite that yummy chocolate cake that hubby brought home last night. I have to get it together!
Ruthie, when I hear you talk about your daughter I realize what an awesome responsibility it must be to be a parent. [Which is probably why I opted out for this lifetime! ]
Welcome, Venus! I know what you mean; I work out more than anyone I know, I should be a rail by now. I'm learning [again!!!] that I'm not the kind of person that can never go back to my old lifestyle, that I have to stay on top of it all the time. Sometimes, and this is my inner cry-baby, I get so envious of people who can just eat whatever they want without giving it a thought and I have to be constantly vigilant. Oh well....And my karma has put me in the position of cooking as my profession and it's almost comical sometime!
Lamorgan, I'd forgotten that you garden. You can be our green-thumbed garden goddess, inspiring us to get out there and plant something green and EDIBLE!!!
Wildfire, I hope your back's better soon.
Last night, I went for a HUGE grocery shop at the wholefoods place last night and by jingo, I'm all set! I've got so much healthy food in the house that there's no way I could go wrong. [knock wood.]
Had a bad episode at work the other day where I went mad for sweets--felt like an addict so I'm severely restricting my sugar intake now. Oooh, it was ugly.......
Just as an FYI, I checked out that Team in Training's web site -- and I am so impressed! My cousin died of leukemia and I have a close family member with a rare form of lymphoma, so the idea of doing something that will raise funds for those cancers AND be good for my health is just awesome! I registered to have someone contact me about joining. Thanks, Venus!
Just when I was hating the fashion industry, I needed to go shopping. So off I hobbled to the mall...forget the stores in the actual mall that only sell sizes I can barely remember...I went to the department stores on either end. I ended up spending $173.00 on three bras with matching panties and a pair of black panties to go with a bra I already have. Is that ludicrous or what? First it took me two hours to actually find the bras in a 38DD cup....scarcer than hen's teeth, I'm tellin ya! Then the bras are a good $10 more than the exact same ones in a D cup. I'm only a size 14-16, which really isn't that huge....why is it so damn hard to find clothes? And why do I have to pay more because it's one size larger? It's not like there's THAT much more fabric involved, for pete's sake! Can you tell I'm just a little irked?
Victoria's Secret sells my size, but by the time I pay the duty to get it into Canada I don't save much. That's something I'd like to do someday....have a lingerie store for women that stocks sizes for normal people!
And now my back and my ankle (don't think I mentioned I twisted my ankle this week too) are both killing me. Thanks for the well wishes, I think my back will work itself out eventually. I don't think it's anything like a herniated disc or pulled muscle. Just did something in my sleep.
'K, I'm gonna take some more drugs and wallow in some light popcorn while I watch a movie with hubby....and have my water on the rocks.
Eydie-has the sugar monster tamed it's ugly head???? I such splurge the sugar from my diet as well. Maybe next week I will. Sounds like a date!
Ruthie-how are you???? I am sure you look wonderful 95% of the time that you walk by the mirror!!!! I will give you 4% for bad hair days and 1% for monthly acne!!!!
Punkinseed-how is the sewing coming along? I have a sewing machine. It is a reconditioned one. But I can never get the lower tention correct for more than 10 minutes and I get frustrated and quit. One of these days I will try again. I have a pair of pants to be hemmed that I got yesterday from Costco. Mom thought they looked way comfy. They just brarely fit. No large meals. They look wonderful on though. No baggy fabric in sight. I think once I get myself modivated again, they will feel wonderful on.
Lamorgan-seedy Saturday sounds like fun. Since I have no dogs now, I think I may plant a garden. I had better seriously start planning as we have to do things way early here to avoid harvest in August. Nothing survives August in LV.
Amy-how are the early rounds going??? Are you getting used to it? I have noticed the same cars on the freeway as I go to work the last week. I have never had to drive far, or at the same time. It is wierd to have a schedule.
I start the The Great Indoors on Wednesday. Tomorrow is my last day at the college. I will miss my flexible schedule and working near the greenhouse. But I won't miss my boss's moodiness, being her vent board, the dull monotonous work, or the wondering what I will be doing all day.
Mom took me to Costco yesterday. I got lots of freezer meats, and some pantry snack items for the children. I will do another large shopping when I get paid so the supply doesn't get too low and we have to head off to fast food. Griffin must gain weight before next checkup. He is at 10% for weight. Not acceptable since he is growing taller yet not getting any heavier. It took me a while to find snack foods that he can eat without choking, with no dairy and little amounts of refined sugar that he will eat. I wish i had that problem!!!
I have been spending gobs of time with bf. We are getting along marvelously. Better than ever probably. Saturday nights are game nights. We played Yahtzee and who wants to be a millionare mini version last night. Monopoloy was last Sat. I picked up two games at the thrift store last weekend for 1$ each. We will try them next.
Well, off to do my annual Sunday laundry! Crazy!!!!! ~flower
Alternative Group (January 25, 2002)
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Happy Friday!
I such splurge the sugar from my diet as well. Maybe next week I will. Sounds like a date! 
They just brarely fit. No large meals. They look wonderful on though. No baggy fabric in sight. I think once I get myself modivated again, they will feel wonderful on. 
