[tweetyandme]

For many years i have suffered from depression and type-2 bi-polar(not manic) disorder. I go to the doctor, and i have taken almost every medication there is, but still i have my problems. One moment i am on top of the world and the next i am SO depressed and crying for no reason, that my family thinks i'm going to attempt suicide again. My biggest problem is that i never remember trying to hurt myself, i only wake up in the hospital, or sick as a dog and needing to go to the hospital with only bits a pieces of what i did to harm myself still in my memory. It's like my mind is out to get me without me knowing it and i am frightened! Doctors have never had a case like mine before and all they can do is suggest a happy lifestyle. I am afraid that me moving out of state December 26th will effect my mood or mental state. Any major change in my life always seems to upset me. I have taken all the courses on copeing with problems and i have seena counciler once a week for the past 3 years to talk out my problem, but still i am the same no matter how desperatly i try to change myself. Does anyone know anyone with symptoms like mine, or know some-what what i am talking about? A non-doctors insight to my problem would be nice for a change.

[rockinrobin]

I'm sorry this is something I am most definitely not familiar with. The only thing I can think of is if one doctor is not helping you or not familiar with your symptoms go to another doctor and if need be another doctor until you do find a doctor that can help you. There is someone out there who can help you, you just haven't found him/her yet. With a big move coming up this is a very stressful time for anyone and if you in particular know that you have problems adjusting maybe one of the first places you should head when you arrive to your new location is to find a doctor. You don't have to live this way, there is someone out there who can help you. And please don't stop searching until you find that person. Good luck to you.

[tweetyandme]

I will look another doctor up once i move. As for finding another doctor then the one i had been seeing for a second opinion, i have seen dozens of doctors, in many different practices. Nobody has a NAME for what i have but they do see some similar traits in me that are in other patients that have some hard-to-pronounce syndromes, but none of my symtoms are present to be diagnosed with any CERTAIN thing. Does that make sense? I kind of confussed myself on that a little Haha.

[willmakeit]

Hi Tweetyandme, I can totally understand your frustration and fright and although its hard to comment anything definitively not knowing the full story, I do think ur problem is something atypical. I work with psychiatrically ill patients in a highly reputed instituion and have seen a lot of people with depression and bipolar. Some were very different than most and even the typical patients need more than 3 years.

Every patient is different and some may need just few months whereas most need years and years of medical help after they start feeling better.
Psychotherapy and medications certainly help if taken with full motivation and the need to improve whatever it takes.

Attempting suicide and not even remembering it later could be MORE than bipolar and surely dangerous for yourself. A 24 hour helpline number is usually provided for people with suicidal tendencies and they promise to call the number if they feel suicidal. admitting to a hospital for 2-3 days also helps. so a helpline number is what u MUST keep for sometime while your moving to a new state. You must keep taking ur medicines for a longer period and avoid being alone/stressed out (go out/go to the gym/meet friends/go to grocery store/watch movie if you feel stressed) you could also try Yoga, meditation on a regular basis to keep your mind in balance with the envirnment.

Lastly, find out a better Mood disorders clinic in ur area.

[Tiffie]

BlessedBe, I definitely can relate! I don't have what you have. However, when I am very stressed out, I will blank out so that I will sit up and be unable to recall anything of what I've been doing. My doc thinks it's because my suicide attempt caused some brain damage, which in conjunction with my post-traumatic stress disorder, screws up my mind when I'm stressing out.

Please know, we're here for you! Take the above advice seriously. Whether it's a suicide hotline or a friend, DO NOT be alone when you're suicidal, especially knowing what can happen. We care for you, sweety, and we don't want anything to happen.

((((((((((((((BlessedBe)))))))))))))

[tweetyandme]

Thanks for your posting and advice. I know i should see a doctor after i move today, but i can't do that. You see, i don't drive, and where i am moving is 30 miles from ANY civilization. I won't have a ride, because my mother has a job where she can't take off work, or she will be fired, and she leaves home at 4:30AM, and doesn't get home until 7:00PM. She can't lose her job, or she will lose her home. I have to deal with my own problems on my own. My mother cares very much about me, so lack of care isn't an issue. I will be home alone all day by myself and i can't even go out and make friends, which is why i am on 3FC. It's not the same, but i can still receive support when needed on here, which i thank all of you for.

[willmakeit]

Remember, You can take a cab if needed... (whenever u feel desparate. ur life is worth more than 50 bucks...)
Or just call the nearest hospital and ususally hospitals can arrange for a transportation for their patients. In our university, we bring patients from more than 50-70 miles far. See if they have a social worker. And once you are a registered patient with that hospital, its totally their responsibility to make these arrangements.

[tweetyandme]

Originally Posted by willmakeit

Remember, You can take a cab if needed... (whenever u feel desparate. ur life is worth more than 50 bucks...)
Or just call the nearest hospital and ususally hospitals can arrange for a transportation for their patients. In our university, we bring patients from more than 50-70 miles far. See if they have a social worker. And once you are a registered patient with that hospital, its totally their responsibility to make these arrangements.

I will definatly have to check around and see if place around here does that. Thank you for the great advice!

[almostheaven]

My daughter was diagnosed as bi-polar. They put her on med after med with no success. She was in and out of hospitals and attempting suicide. She couldn't be around people much and so they put her into coping classes. Looking back, this affected her early on, as she failed 3rd grade. She could always do the work...just not in school, around all the other kids.

After many doctors, one finally told her she'd been misdiagnosed. She was actually borderline schizophrenic. He said it's often misdiagnosed as bi-polar. He put her on a different medication and there have been no more suicide attempts. She does much better.

[tweetyandme]

Originally Posted by almostheaven

My daughter was diagnosed as bi-polar. They put her on med after med with no success. She was in and out of hospitals and attempting suicide. She couldn't be around people much and so they put her into coping classes. Looking back, this affected her early on, as she failed 3rd grade. She could always do the work...just not in school, around all the other kids.

Wow. I am so sorry to hear about that happening to your daughter. I had the exact same problems. I was in and out of hospitals also, and i had problems so bad that i didn't go to 8th grade and up. When i was supposed to be in 10th grade, i got my G.E.D. I still have pronlems being around large groups of people, but i'm getting better everyday

[lizziness]

I am about 10 years older than you, and when I was in high school and suffering from what I suppose was depression and possible ptss I was just put on all kinds of different medications til the found one that "worked" Ha! It nearly ruined my life, not to mention stopped it. I was out of school for weeks at a time, when they had me on Effexor I could barely move a muscle or focus on anything I just laid around and only got up to go to the bathroom. Zoloft made me start cutting myself and I became suicidal. Prozac is what they finally settled on, but it just made me empty and finally I just stopped taking medication all together and went to see a counselor. I had a point somewhere in this, really...

and that is, check your meds! You may be on the wrong ones. Me and a lot of people my age and older had to go through the medication game. I hope it's a lot better... I do see that there are a lot more warnings on these medications regarding teenagers. Effexor states that it causes teenagers to have suicidal tendencies. Isn't that wonderful?

Anyway, all the advice given before is great. Perhaps there are online counseling programs you can get into since you are kind of isolated. Just be careful and try to take care of yourself, I know it's really difficult at times, but in the end you CAN beat this.

[tweetyandme]

Yeah i was on Effexor at one of the worst points in my life. It messed me up so bad that i was disoriented and i started sleep walking. The bad part for me was that i walked outside of my apartment and down the sidewalk! That's not the worst part, the worst part was when i was sleep walking, i was grabbed by 2 guys and very terrible things happened to me. I could not even scream, that's how bad i was messed up. The even worse thing was that i crawled back to my apartment and fell aleep in the open doorway. The next morning my father found me, and i was in a just a nightgown(my panties were missing) and he called me a whore, and a drug user! It took me a few minutes to remember what had happened the night before, but he didn't believe me, until i somehow convinced him to take me to the hospital where a few tests proved that i was NOT a liar and definatly NOT a whore. My dad never even apologized for the names he called me, but being a cop, he was only interested in catching these guys. Sadly, i was so messed up that i couldn't even give him a description. The guys who did that to me are still free today! It took my parents a while to realize that it was the medication that was messing me up, and that i was NOT doing illegal substances!!!!

I also had some bad stuff happen to me on prozac and the sleep aid serequil, plus zoloft, and 2 more that i can't think of the name of. I actually did things while i was sleep walking like over doesing, and cutting. I didn't even remember overdosing until the next morning when i could not stop throwing up! I think i OD'ed three times.

From my multiple bad experiences, i have stopped taking depression meds, but i still take something for panic and anxinety. I am doing pretty good without it!

[almostheaven]

My daughter did the same thing. She graduated over a year earlier than she would have by taking a homeschool course. She had too many problems coping with a classroom full of other kids, but doing it on her own, she flew through the work.