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Old 10-06-2006, 09:22 AM   #5
ZedAus
Learning to love myself.
 
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 950

Height: 5' 7"

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OH! I keep forgetting to tell you. I had an "A-HA" moment the other day when I was having a phone interview for a magazine. Almost every interview is different, and they all give me something to think about as they ask questions that I really haven't thought about before.

This lady asked me just what the weight loss means for me. I really had to think quite hard to come up with something that reflected just exactly what it means.

The best word I could come up with was "FREEDOM".

I have decided that this one word describes it all so clearly.

*****Freedom from the constraints (both physically AND mentally) of being in a morbidly obese body.*****

Freedom to be the person that you have always believed you can be.

Freedom to act the way you have always wanted to act, without the fear of people looking at the 'fat lady' and wondering what on earth she thinks she is doing. Just today, I bought a soft serve low fat yoghurt and ate it while I wandered around the mall on my own while I was waiting for hubby. Before I would have worried that people would judge me for what I was eating.

Freedom to partake in activities that non-obese people take for granted. Just the other day I went to our Royal Show (big fair) and I could go through the turnstiles just like everyone else. I didn't have to go through the pram/pusher entrance like I did the last time I went.

Freedom to take on the world. Last year hubby and I went for a holiday to the U.S. Hubby had the chance to go to a Microsoft Summit and I was SO happy to be able to share that holiday with him. He wouldn't have gone on his own and before I wouldn't have even attempted such a trip as I would have been too big for the plane seats, too big for the taxi (couldn't fit seatbelts around me), too big for climbing on the back of the truck for the photographic safari... etc... etc... He would have missed out on an incredible opportunity because of my size.

Freedom to live life to the fullest. This one I am still working on, but I constantly amaze myself with the things that I am now willing to do. I just thought I didn't LIKE them before, but it was actually that my size restricted me from doing them. For example, jogging. I used to say that I would NEVER jog, now I love it. Another example is catching public transport. I used to say that it was EASIER to just drive myself, but it is actually easier to catch public transport a lot of the time.

Freedom to eat wherever I like! No more checking out restaurants beforehand to see if the chairs have arms on them. No more worrying about going to friends' houses to eat, just in case they try to get you to sit in those small plastic white chairs.

Freedom to shop for clothes that I LIKE, not just ones that fit. I used to tell myself that clothes shopping was frivolous and only shallow people could find pleasure in such a menial task. Well, now that I can actually FIT into a wide range of clothes, I LOVE clothes shopping. I love just trying clothes on a lot of the time, simply to see that they are fit. I love having to swap clothes for a SMALLER size. I love being able to buy 4 or 5 pieces of clothing (or even more) for the same price I used to have to pay for one. I even love shopping for shoes, because my foot is still big, but not bigger than the regular sizes in stores.

Simply... FREEDOM TO BE ME

I just wanted to let you all know that FREEDOM AWAITS YOU.

Many of you may not have the same problems as those I have mentioned above, and to you I just say "I am SO envious". I used to not believe they were problems for me, but I now see that they were, but I became very good at hiding them, or finding excuses, that had nothing to do with my size, to avoid doing things. I am not saying that YOU do this, but that was something I would use to survive as a morbidly obese adult. I became a master at convincing myself that my weight wasn't a problem for me and the restrictions I had placed upon myself had to be caused by something else. I am still amazed that I believed that for so very long.

Well, that was pretty deep, but I just felt SO enlightened that I wanted to share it with you all.

Take care,

Zelma
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Zelma - Loving the freedom of being half the size I used to be!



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