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Old 07-24-2006, 09:11 AM   #1  
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Default Sick of it all... hopefully temporary!

I so struggled yesterday. I don't know where this came from, but for much of yesterday, I was just sick of all of this. Sick of the calorie counting and the weighing the food and counting exercise and, just doing it everyday. I've logged almost every morsel of food that I've eaten since last AUGUST and I sometimes just don't want to think about it anymore.

And yet, I was too terrified to chuck it totally and go completely off plan... I did eat more than I usually do, but I didn't go totally bonkers, chose what I would eat, and even still had a small calorie deficit for the day.

At least for now I'm feeling much better -- I often do feel better the next day when things like that happen. But I still don't know why that happened yesterday. It wasn't TOM, it wasn't hunger, didn't seem to be stress... it just was. And while I've had thoughts of being "sick of it" before, this was the worst yet. I hope I can get back into the mental groove, cause I WAS in such a good place just a week ago!

Again, I'm fine today and mostly posting this because it helps me to see that other people have successes AND struggles on this journey...
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Old 07-24-2006, 09:24 AM   #2  
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Heather..

As you know I don't count calories.. I can't count them and don't want to count them.. but it is working for you. Is it an option to just not do it for a day when you get frustrated like this yet still stay within your plan.. then go back to counting?

I would tell you to just chuck it.. that it is not necessary but I know that it probably is for you. It would be like asking me not to record my exercise. I know EXACTLY where that would lead me.. thinking that I HAD exercised today when really that was yesterday.. or thinking I'd exercised hard when all I did was take a short walk. I know cause I've been there.

Take a deep breath, hon.. pick up the journal. Dust it off.. and plug along. You've come so far .. and though the journey might change.. it will not end.

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Old 07-24-2006, 09:36 AM   #3  
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It's funny, but I was thinking of this very phenomenon early last week- on Monday I is was pretty much in the same place, though in my case TOM was at least part of the issue.

I didn't want to monitor my eating, I didn't wan't to go to the gym... in fact what I wanted to do was go buy a bag of potato chips (and by bag I don't mean any of those silly little single portion ones, I meant BAG) and sit, watch TV, and eat that bag one chip after another until they were gone. I got as far as standing in the chip isle, looking at the nutrition info on the bags to pick "the best chips" when I realized that I wasn't going to be buying any of them and walked away. (whew!) Even though I had found that strength, I was still whinning to myself a bit about not getting them.

People talk about being in touch with their inner child- well I'm pretty convinced that my inner child is suffering from an advanced case of the "terrible two's". There is just this part of ourselves that is always testing us, trying to see just how strict we are- how strong the rules will hold- and it can be pretty bratty when it doesn't get it's way.
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Old 07-24-2006, 10:08 AM   #4  
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Glad to see you're feeling much better.
I just wanted to say that I have read a lot of your posts and I really look up to you for all of the advice that you offer others.
I want to let you know that by reading this post I have a great deal of respect for you. You have proven that although your accomplishments have been huge, you have off days too.
We all know that the journey is long and hard and your going to have days when you just want to give up. You didn't and I respect you for that.
Thanks for being such an inspiration for me and keep your chin up,today is a new day.


Andoreth-Love the analogy about the terrible two's. I find that I act very similar to my 2 yr old sometimes. Kinda sad isn't it?
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Old 07-24-2006, 10:16 AM   #5  
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I had a day like this on Saturday, but mine was totally a PMS day.

Sometimes when this sick-of-it-all feeling strikes me, it's about all areas of my life - sick of living in my home, driving the same streets, shopping the same stores, talking to the same people, etc. I haven't found a good way to deal with it yet, except for to let my mind get quiet and wait for the mood to pass.

Maybe when we get totally sick of recording things, maybe that's the time we most need to record them. I didn't record everything religiously until I started plateauing and I wanted to jump-start some weight loss again. I also naturally became curious about meeting my nutritional needs and started using fitday.
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Old 07-24-2006, 10:27 AM   #6  
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Sometimes I get sick of it all as well and you can let yourself wander a bit as long as you know that you can't stray too long. I know you are getting close to goal but maybe you should allow yourself one day a week where you don't have to count or weigh or do whatever you do. I am not saying go all out and eat whatever you want but just allow yourself to eat your normal foods but don't worry about the individual calories for one moment.
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Old 07-24-2006, 10:41 AM   #7  
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Wyllenn -

I'm sorry you had a tough day yesterday and I'm glad you're feeling better now. I hope it helps you to know that YOU have been one of my biggest inspirations since I joined the forum earlier this month.

I think it's natural to have a "I DON'T want to do this anymore" day during this process. I sometimes think "This is a lot of work and why should a simple thing like eating BE so much work?" And when we see that others are not doing/don't need to do the same work and seem to be doing fine (people w/o weight problems, I mean), well, it's frustrating. In a way, it's like someone going through rehab for an injury. They have to work so hard just to get back to normal and most have days when they are SICK of their exercises, even though following through will ultimately be in their best interest.

I'm with Jayde in that I don't and emphatically do not want to count calories or weigh/measure my food. This is primarily because I know that is something I would/could not keep up with for the rest of my life and it's been stressed here over and over to start and stick with things you feel you can do "forever." Since weighing, measuring and calore counting has obviously worked so well for you, I imagine you'd want to stick with it although there's something to be said for trying new approaches if you're in a rut. There's also something to be said for taking a break from it all - I did - although of course you'll take much longer to reach your goal.

Take it easy on yourself and keep coming here for support!
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Old 07-24-2006, 11:27 AM   #8  
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Heather, I'm glad you're feeling better today. But the good thing is that even feeling the way you did, you still had a calorie deficit and didn't go wild. I had a somewhat similar day. DH is in the hospital recovering from surgery and the options in the cafeteria are really bad - Fried foods and white stuff - potatoes, rice, mac and cheese. It was really a case of having to choose from the least of the bad foods. Then afterwards, it seemed to go downhill. But today's a new day and I'm back on plan. - Now if the scale would only start moving again......
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Old 07-24-2006, 11:29 AM   #9  
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Wow. I love this place. I wasn't necessarily looking for support, but I got so much of it. AND, perhaps some insights I can use...

Jayde and Nelie -- I think further on down I'm going to want to do what you suggested and not log everything. In fact, I don't think I want to record everything for the rest of my life. I didn't even want to do it before I started, but it has been more useful for me than I ever thought possible. I see a future where I don't log everything, but some days do it to make sure I'm not getting too complacent, or do it if I start to get off track.

My husband doesn't log everything every day, but right now, I feel like I should keep doing it. I was okay letting myself eat a little more, but I feel like I still need this "tool" or "crutch" or whatever it is to keep me honest.

And I'm not sure that it's the LOGGING that's the root of the problem. I think even if I didn't log I would mentally track everything... and I am not ready to give myself free rein. I know it works for others, but I just see it for me as a slippery slope to a lack of control. So, for now, I will log.

But as Nelie suggested, I am cutting myself some slack in general. I know I could lose faster if I cut my calories further, but I have decided to just continue to strive for 1 pound/week, or maybe less, and keep my calories where they are. It's not even a meal a week, but could be a treat a week if I planned carefully. Last week, the homemade strawberry shortcake was worth it!

I actually still eat an average of 1800 cals/day (for now anyway). So I don't feel I limit myself like some of you do! There's plenty of space there for some treats, so I don't think I'm depriving myself much. It's more the constant monitoring that gets to me.

Jen-- I think you're onto something with the terrible twos. It felt like a part of me acting out... just like a bratty kid who doesn't want to do what a parent says. That was, I think, a big reason why I didn't want to fully give in to that. I think it's a bad idea to just give that 2 year old inside me what she wants just because she wants it or is having a bad day. I wasn't as strict with her as most days, but I didn't want to give in to her.

I HAVE had days where I was more lenient with my eating, and I was fine with those choices. Mostly they are days where I'm out with people, maybe eating out or with the opportunity to have things I normally don't. For example, last week my husband and I sampled a number of different lovely olive oils (using fresh sourdough to dip!). I went a little high in calories that day, but there was, in my mind, a good reason, and I enjoyed it very much! I'm fine doing that.

Yesterday I just felt... petulant? whiny? And I didn't want to fully give in to that. Good catch. And good job with those chips!

Angel33 -- Yep, it IS a new day, and I am feeling stronger! And I do have to remind myself that we ALL have off days. I think if I felt I was immune to that, THAT would be a problem. I think we all have them.

phantastica -- you know, you're onto something too... I am feeling a little sick-of-it-all. In fact, on Saturday, while my eating was fine, I felt really restless with staying home with the same old same old choices. Hubby and I got out and about a bit, and it was nice, but maybe not enough. Perhaps yesterday was a part of that feeling...

BreakingFree -- boy, yeah, is this like rehab sometimes. And we probably need to continue our rehab forever. Sometimes I'm okay with that, but some times... feels like a drag. And that 2 year old comes out and whines...

Like I said above, I don't see myself logging food forever, but feel the need to keep doing it now. I really admire those of you doing it without logging... I feel sometimes like logging is my "training wheals." On the other hand, one reason I really like it is for the info I get out of the process. Plusses and minuses, I suppose.

I remember reading early on here another poster discuss a struggle eating fast food... one which the poster "lost"... and posting it for all of us to see. I so admired that... this person had been very successful, and it was easy to think everything was easy, but it wasn't. It SO helped me to know that people could be successful and struggle too. It makes the struggle seem more "normal" and helped me anticipate that such things would happen to me too. It also helped to know that you COULD get back on track after that. So, maybe I'm just passing on inspiration? I dunno.

Thanks for all your responses! And boy, I wrote a novel in response!
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Old 07-24-2006, 11:30 AM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtammy
Heather, I'm glad you're feeling better today. But the good thing is that even feeling the way you did, you still had a calorie deficit and didn't go wild. I had a somewhat similar day. DH is in the hospital recovering from surgery and the options in the cafeteria are really bad - Fried foods and white stuff - potatoes, rice, mac and cheese. It was really a case of having to choose from the least of the bad foods. Then afterwards, it seemed to go downhill. But today's a new day and I'm back on plan. - Now if the scale would only start moving again......

Tammy -- and not to mention the stress of a loved one going through surgery... probably makes you less motivated to plan ahead, huh? Hope your DH is okay! And good to hear you're back on track! I think that's just what we have to do. Get back on track!
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Old 07-24-2006, 11:57 AM   #11  
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I think I'll continue to log for a while, but I know that I won't be a fitday geek for the rest of my life. I'm using it now until I can "memorize" what good nutrition and 1800 calories or less feels like. I was successful losing weight without logging for the first 60 pounds, and now I'm using it as a way to shake things up, to keep my weight loss interesting.

Oh - here's what helps me on the sick-of-it-all days: either journaling, getting in the car and going somewhere I haven't been before, or taking a nap.
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Old 07-24-2006, 12:09 PM   #12  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phantastica
Sometimes when this sick-of-it-all feeling strikes me, it's about all areas of my life - sick of living in my home, driving the same streets, shopping the same stores, talking to the same people, etc. I haven't found a good way to deal with it yet, except for to let my mind get quiet and wait for the mood to pass.
Phantastica -

When I have days like this, when I'm just tired and bored of the "sameness" of everthing, I do something to, what I call, "shake up my brain" or get some "newness" in my life. Like you mentioned above, one strategy is to drive to some neighborhood or area (I love driving in the country) to see things I haven't before. I might also go into a new store, try a new restaurant or something along those lines. If it gets really bad, that's when I know I need a weekend trip or a vacation! I feel by "shaking up my brain" I get a new perspective on things and feel refreshed. Highly recommended!
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Old 07-24-2006, 04:44 PM   #13  
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I only logged for a couple of weeks right at the beginning. It just made me even more obsessed with food than I was. I hated doing it, so I stopped. I kinda have an old fashioned weight watchers exchange system in my head. Two to three servings of fruit 3 to 4 servings of carbs, two servings of protein, unlimited veggies and about 200 calories of "treats". That broad sort of system works for me most of the time.

I must say, if I didn't have a week off here and there, I would go mad. I get so sick of thinking about weight. So I have had a bit of a cruise this year, where I have certainly lost inches, and worked on my fitness, but not really lost much weight to speak of.

You have done so well, and are so focussed, I am in awe.

Oh and I have an inner three year old in my head. I have always said I have a brat alive and well and fighting every step of the way!
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Old 07-24-2006, 05:13 PM   #14  
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I certainly know there are days when I wake up in the morning and for whatever reason I just don't want to go to work. I don't mean the "I hate my job" not wanting to go to work (for the most part I really like my job), but the "I just don't feel like it today" not going to work. I think we can all relate to that. For the most part we groan, fuss a bit and then get ourselves out of bed and off to work. The price of not going is too high - people depend on us, we depend on the paycheck, etc.

I think it is the same thing with weight loss. In many ways it is work. It doesn't mean you don't want to do it most of the time, that you don't realize the value it has in your life, etc. There are just going to be days you don't want to do it. Hopefully we can approach it with a similar attitude - allow ourselves a bit of a grumble and then get on with it.

Of course there are the few occasional times with work that a grumble won't do and I need to take a "mental health day". I suppose maybe diets need that too.
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Old 07-24-2006, 06:36 PM   #15  
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heh. I think many of you are right. I think I DO need a mental health day. In fact, I know I do. I was thinking about a spa day...

Also, while that feeling of wanting to chuck everything is gone today, I think it could be back, soon, so I may also need a mental break from watching everything I eat. A short break. I also may just try eating a little more each day and giving myself a bit of leeway for a while. Not enough to gain, but maybe not worry about losing. I am terrified of not being able to get back the focus, tho, either way. Yes, I've been successful, but I've been successful by being focused. I'm not sure I know how to do it any other way.

I have a sort of vacation in a couple of weeks and I may choose to not log food then and see what happens. That may work because it might be easier to pick it up when I get back. On the other hand, the trip is likely to be stressful, and may trigger binges. hmmm.

Well, this is life, and I think I have to figure out how to deal with food AND life. Like Nancy said, I may not WANT to go to work all the time, but I do. Same thing here. I can take a bit of a break but can't afford to lose this job!
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