Mini-Goals Even if you're not at goal yet, this is the place to share your successes and achievements along the way! Success can be measured in many ways besides the scales. Tell us about your triumphs, including Non Scale Victories

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Old 07-05-2006, 03:06 PM   #1  
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Smile The nerve of some people

It's amazing the nerve of some people. I did a little shopping with my mom and someone she knows starting talking to her and she says "is that your daughter?... wow she's big." Now usually those kind of things would bother the crap out of me till next week, lol, but right at that moment when she said that I immediately shrugged it off and said "Not for long!" I NO longer let words pull me down when they used to cause me depression and self-pity. I know I am GOING SOMEWHERE!!! I'm going forward not backward!!! There is a great future for me and no person is taking that away from me. So they can say whatever the heck they want because I am strong and I know what lies ahead of me!
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Old 07-05-2006, 03:26 PM   #2  
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Okay butterfly, you have definitly been my inspiration today with all of your wonderful posts. Again great attitude. You are a much better woman than I, but then again I have spent at least the last 15 years or so worrying about what other people think of me. I am so worried that all people see is a fat girl and they never take the time to get to know me. Or like Sassy said, my sarcastic side wants to shoot back a nasty comment.
Just think how stupid your mom's friend will feel when you're not really big.

Best of luck to you and can't wait to hear about your sucesses as you go along. Your attitude is really infectious.
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Old 07-05-2006, 03:47 PM   #3  
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Angel33, I used to have the same problem worrying to much of what people said, it even caused me to hide from people in my home for YEARS!! but when starting this diet I visioned my future; I thought about how different and great it's going to be. Then I said to myself ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I REFUSE TO LET PEOPLE CONTROL MY LIFE ANYMORE! I had to change my attitude because it was destroying my life.

You are a wonderful and strong person. Don't let others control your feelings. Just ignore them. I know, better said than done. My mom used to tell me to ignore them but your ears can't stop what you're hearing. It takes practice to ignore what people say totally. Next time someone says something about you say something positive about yourself and keep thinking on that positive thought not the negative. Soon that hurt caused by that other person will disappear because you have learned to take control of your own feelings.
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Old 07-05-2006, 04:29 PM   #4  
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Butterfly . . . I think you have a wonderful outlook and such a positive attitude, and you certainly have given me a new outlook as of today! I so agree, the nerve of some people! What in the heck are they even thinking, or rather not thinking, before they open up their BIG mouth! You just keep being strong and thinking positive, and one day you WILL show everyone! Have a great day!!!
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Old 07-05-2006, 04:32 PM   #5  
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Good for you with the quick comeback! My favorite (although I've yet to have the nerve/opportunity to use it) is, "I may be fat but you're ugly. At least I can lose weight."
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Old 07-05-2006, 04:34 PM   #6  
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Thanks. I'm happy that I'm inspiring some of you. That's sort of what my goal is on this board. I want to inspire as much people as possible and help them stay strong.
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Old 07-05-2006, 04:35 PM   #7  
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Lol!! Good one Kelly.
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Old 07-05-2006, 04:57 PM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by butterfly_dreams
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I REFUSE TO LET PEOPLE CONTROL MY LIFE ANYMORE! I had to change my attitude because it was destroying my life.
AMEN sister!!! Thanks for the reminder!
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Old 07-05-2006, 04:59 PM   #9  
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One of my best combacks, which works for almost any rudeness of this type is a shocked expression, then a smile and confront them maybe saying sweetly something like, "You surely didn't mean that the way it sounded, did you?"

I almost always make some kind of comment or reaction to rudeness. People are rude often out of ignorance, or because they don't expect to be confronted, especially pleasantly. It's funny that the more pleasant I am when I confront them, the more ashamed or embarassed they are. If they were just stupid, I'm happy to be pleasant, and if they were intentionally trying to piss me off, then being pissed is reinforcement. Being nice to them throws them off guard and makes them feel like a huge ***. Either way, big win for me.

Even when people stare in that "Geez, have you ever seen someone that fat" amazement, I usually raise an eyebrow, cock my head, and stare back. In what I consider my, "Geez, have you ever seen someone so stupid" gaze. I don't think I've ever seen anyone not, immediately look horrified and look away.

I feel sometimes like I have to remind certain people that I am human.
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Old 07-05-2006, 05:25 PM   #10  
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yeah exactly, it's like some people don't consider us humans and can just be rude as much as they want like we're animals or something.
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Old 07-05-2006, 06:19 PM   #11  
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Butterfly.....my response to your mother's friend....."Wow, she's rude & ignorant!"
Karma always makes things "right."
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Old 07-05-2006, 06:36 PM   #12  
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yep. sweet karma. lol.
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Old 07-05-2006, 07:26 PM   #13  
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I am so proud of your attitude. I don't know why people think it's OK to tell someone they are big, large, fat or whatever. I used to have this happen to me a lot. Heck, I'm not stupid, I knew I was fat. I would let it get to me emotionally and if it happened during the many, many times I was trying to lose weight it was sure fire way to cause me to give up. Now I see that these stupid people were just reinforcing me to think of myself as a big loser. I wish I had been stronger like you and maybe it wouldn't have taken me so long to finally get the extra weight off and feel better about myself. Keep going strong, you are going to show them all.
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Old 07-05-2006, 08:17 PM   #14  
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Good for you, Butterfly! I love to see such a positive attitude here on the boards! You ARE going to make it and thanks for being an encouragement to me and others.
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Old 07-05-2006, 08:26 PM   #15  
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HI,

Good for you. People are idiots at times. Maybe one day that person will have a 'situation' that they would prefer nobody notice... and then they might remember the comment they made to you. Probably won't happen, but it would be nice hehe.

One of my favorites.. you know how people always do this.. "OH, but you have SUCH a pretty face.. you should lose some weight" or "... now if you were ONLY thin" or "... if you could only lose that weight".

My response to that one was one day.. to a co-worker after he'd said it "yeah, you know, that's really an insult. It tells me you are saying that I am UGLY because I'm fat, but if I was not fat, you would approve of me. You know, you'd be such a nice person if you weren't such an A**hole".
He got the message.
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