Tracy-I have a weird phobia, too. I fear other people throwing up. I have had panic attacks relating to this since I was 5. Now I'm 34, and I have 3 kids, so it's not something I can run away from. I resisted telling anyone for a long time, because it is such a weird phobia, and I was too embarrassed. About 5 years ago it got to be too much to handle. I was always terrified my kids would get sick. I would check on them all night, even waking them up if I thought they might possibly be sick. I finally went to the doctor and "confessed" my fear. He put me on antidepressants. I have been on one after another since. They don't do much for the depression, but they do help me get a bit of a handle on the panic. I still take Xanax when I get panicky, but it doesn't happen as often. When it does, I want to die. So I know what you are feeling. If your doctor blows you off, go to another one. It's too important to let go. I'm now diagnosed as having a form of bipolar, and just started a new med yesterday. I am hopeful it helps with both the depression and anxiety. Yes, meds can be scary, but living with panic attacks and depression is much worse.
We are here for you whenever you need us. I always feel so alone when I am panicky, and I know it helps me so much to be able to come here and post.