Do people talk about overweight people to you now that you're thinner? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

bnbsmommy1 · 02-25-2006, 09:41 AM

I'm stunned. shocked and disgusted. At work my co-workers keep keep remarking to me about other co-workers, how they have such a big *** or asking me how they get into a chair, etc. etc. In the 13 years I've worked there no one has EVER made fat remarks to me about other co-workers. I don't understand, now that I weigh less they all seem to think I want to hear their snide comments.

Has this happened to you?? It makes me sick, because these same people have probably said nasty things about me all this time. I just look at them with a shocked look, I don't even really know what to say.

Lacey

csoar2004 · 02-25-2006, 09:51 AM

Mostly what I get these days is comments along the lines of "of course, YOU don't have to worry about being fat."

It's really quite odd to be thought of as a person without a weight problem.
Hellooooooooo - I'm a fat person IN REMISSION!

heh heh

liz321 · 02-25-2006, 10:58 AM

People I work with know me well.........and most people don't like being challenged, confronted or put in their place, so they wouldn't dare make such a comment to me.....no matter how I am looking.

Liz

kayleystar · 02-25-2006, 11:02 AM

That's just incredible! Granted, I'm still 310 pounds, but I've had people make fun of OTHER obese people right to my face, and I'm like HELLO, what do you say about ME behind MY back!?! It's incredible how rude/shallow a lot of people are. I hate society.

lucky · 02-25-2006, 11:45 AM

No, that has never happened to me. In fact, I was really surprised to find that there wasn't a secret club of thin people who were out to get me when I was fat.

I know that there are people who make nasty comments about/to fat people. Honestly, though, I think we take it too personally when they do. These are the type of people who find something wrong with EVERYBODY. If they aren't making fun of someone's weight then they are putting down someone's outfit, or hair, or speech, birthmark, or whatever imprefection they can zero in on. I try not to hold a grudge, though, because I know I've been more judgemental than I've had a right to be too. Have you ever seen a really attractive woman in a sexy outfit and thought yourself, "slut"? I know I have. The truth is that she could have been the most morally upright person in the world but she happened to look really good in an outfit that I would have loved to be able to wear. Being insecure with ourselves often brings out the worst in us. I'm not proud of it and I make an honest effort not to be like the people you've described in your office. More often than not I am a non-judgmental, compassionate person. But, I'm certainly not perfect.

Some people have been unhappy with themselves for so long that they are way past occasional insecurites and are constantly negative towards the rest of the world. And, like it or not, some people are confident in themselves but just have a mean streak. Whichever category your co-workers fall into I think it would perfectly acceptable to point out how mean and hurtful their comments are. You don't have to isolate yourself (you do have to work with them after all). But, countering their fat comments with a compliment to the other person can go a long way in diffusing their negativity. And you might even remind them that you were once large as well. Remind them of something great the overweight person has done (not related to their physical appearance) and follow up by asking lightheartedly, "Did you guys talk about me like that before I lost weight?" Their answer will be "no", of course, but you will have made your point. They probably won't stop making the nasty comments but at least you won't have to listen to them anymore.

bnbsmommy1 · 02-25-2006, 11:59 AM

Lucky: well said, thank you

Of course I've made my share of snide comments to my husband, about a hair cut, etc, etc, I guess the fat comments just hit home. Maybe I should just learn from that and start keeping my own mouth closed when I think something negative lol
Thanks for the advise

Lacey

kayleystar · 02-25-2006, 12:24 PM

Wow, Lucky! You hit it right on the head...and it really got me thinking. I try to be non-judgemental, because I feel I have no right to judge someone....and I don't judge against the handicapped (mentally&physically), race, orientation, or any of that...but you made me realize that I have a lot of animoscity (sp?) against skinny people...

I need to change.