[Vilandra485]

When I'm trying to count calories and cut back on junk I often get comments from people that I'm eating with, that - if *weren't* said in a nice roundabout way - would mean something like "Why bother using zero calorie butter spary, just have normal butter...it's not like it's just butter that made you so overweight". How do I deal with people that say nice things but you know what they really mean by it? It's just everyone has a nice way of saying "you're so beyond overweight now that your choice of water over orange juice isn't gonna make you thin." How do I let this not affect me? It's getting to the point that it's just easier to start to believe it.
Also, if to maintain I need 3000 calories, and to lose 2 pounds a week I need to take in 2000 calories...is it gonna squash my metabolism if I go to about 1600 on some days? Cause I heard that going more than 1000 under is actually bad. So, if I average, say, 1300 under maintaining is it going to be counter-productive? Should I try to be in the 1900's? Example, yesterday (Day 4 of my restart!) I had 1549 calories, but I was full...so, was that counter-productive for calorie burning? My 4 day average has been 1675 cals a day. Any advice on either and/or both of my issues would be great. Thanks for "listening".

Melissa

[AquaChick]

I have a few of those kind lurking in my family.The way I deal with those incredibly rude insensitive people is to smile and continue with choosing and eating as if they didn't say anything to me at all. It's not worth it. It is me putting it into my body.It isn't up to them to decide what is best and what did what, so they are just wasting their breath.

About the calories... I don't know. Someone here will probably know.

[NotTheCheat]

What do they expect you to do? I suppose you could go from old eating habits to nothing but salad or something, but that wouldn't last very long.

Losing weight is all about the small changes you can live with. One can of Coke a day can adds up to a lot of calories over time. A 12 oz can of Coke is 146 calories, which for every day of the year is over 50,000 calories, which equates to 15 pounds (3500 calories/pound). Sure - on the one day it might not make a big difference, but over time it totally adds up. You have to start small - where else are you going to start?

As far as dealing with comments, you can say that you are trying to eat healthier to feel better. It sounds like you might be making the people around you feel uncomfortable with their own choices. Don't let them get you down.

Regarding the calorie totals, there is a thread recently started about calorie cyclers and zig-zaggers: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=75339

It is definitely OK to vary your calorie intake.

[kayleystar]

Don't let people and their unkind remarks get you down. I know when I used to work at Walmart, and I drank water and ate certain things (when I was dieting before), some of the REALLY skinny girls would look at me, and then look at what I was eating...and then look at me again, like I shouldn't even be eating. Someone eve had the gall to tell me that I shouldn't eat, as I had enough fat to live off of for a few years. Nancy's right...it takes one step at a time...just think about how YOU feel...not how other's see you as...now if I could just take my own advice!

[shrinkingchica]

How insensitive! But don't worry, we are all here for you.
From what I know, you should not attempt to go below 1200 a day and from what you are indicating your daily recommended calorie intake is at your present weight..... yeah, about 1900 should be good for you.
And it is definately all about the little differences!!! One glass of OJ a day and 1 tbsp of butter a day really adds up! If that was all you cut out, you should still lose in excess of 16lbs in a full year! Imagine that.

Congrats on re-starting and it might help to look at it not as day 4 of a diet but just the begining of a new and healthier you.

(I have been at weight-loss now for 18mos and if I counted day by day I would go crazy...... It would just seem so much longer......... and besides, this is how I'm gonna live for the rest of my life......... And I plan on counting that in decades, not days!!! ).

[FeistyRoo]

Originally Posted by Vilandra485

When I'm trying to count calories and cut back on junk I often get comments from people that I'm eating with, that - if *weren't* said in a nice roundabout way - would mean something like "Why bother using zero calorie butter spary, just have normal butter...it's not like it's just butter that made you so overweight". How do I deal with people that say nice things but you know what they really mean by it? It's just everyone has a nice way of saying "you're so beyond overweight now that your choice of water over orange juice isn't gonna make you thin." How do I let this not affect me? It's getting to the point that it's just easier to start to believe it.









Melissa

Best not to believe it. You are making small changes to make your life better. People like that don't have a clue how their own body function. The whole butter thing is a huge difference Better to have 0 calorie butter spray then to stick 80 calories and up per tbsp of butter into your body. Those calores can count up over time.

Water does the body good. You are moving nutrients all over your body and you are moving toxins out of your body, It is more then a 0 calorie drink. It is pure life.

Believe me you aren't the only one having problems from family members or friends saying stupid stuff. My Jolt for the day from a family member is why buy Lean Cuisine when you can get Mechalene for a dollar!! both same size meals.

Of course under my breath I walked away and mumble "Stupid People" and went on with my life and said to myself "Because I think my choices are much better".

That is just it!!!! Your choices are much much better!!!!!

You know what needs to go into your body, how many calories, and what you can eat. Those people are uneducated in the area!!!

Off my

[SherryA]

Well I don't want to play devil's advocate here, but I have been in the shoes of the people you describe. I've been out with my sister and she will order some ridiculously fattening meal and then order a "diet coke" with it. It always has me wondering if she thinks the diet coke alone will make her slim. I think I even said that to her once and her answer was pretty good (I guess). She said "well at least I'm not getting the calories from a full sugar coke as well..."

Ok. I agree. But on the other hand isn't ordering something "diet" if you aren't making a difference in the rest of the things you eat sort of pointless? That's how I saw it anyway.

Of course, I'm not saying you are doing that. I'm assuming you are making all the right changes, not just token changes that make you feel better, but don't really make much of a difference in the long run.

[Psychego]

Great response shrinkingchica. I do count down the days left til I reach my goal and sometimes it drives me crazy. If it were to end, then what will happen? Will it give me the green light to splurge and binge again? I will definitely not make that mistake.

Melissa, I encountered so many people against my diet that it actually pushed me into an emotional rollercoaster. This will not be the only time you will find comments get you down. But chin up and keep on trying. The small changes you are making now is the beginning of a journey that will lead you to be successful. I'm only about 15 to 20 pounds away from my goal and as a male, people think I'm crazy for wanting to weigh so low. Do I care what they say? It affects me and I keep on ruminating on what they say for several days, but not one have I let deviate me from my goal. People are jealous, or just have a hard time see things change. At the beginning of my journey to lose weight, my best friend would laugh at me and it would hurt me because we would go to McDonald's and I'd ask for a classic grilled chicken sandwich without mayo and apple dippers instead of fries. He would say, "Ha Ha, all of a sudden you try to eat healthy." I took it as, "It's not as if no mayo will have an impact on your weight..you will always be a fata**." Now, 65 pounds lighter, I slap it in his face the achievement that I have accomplished. It's just beyond his belief, and he is the one that actually shows the weight loss off for me because he brings it up to people. It's easier said than done to ignore people, but you just stick to what you know it's right. As for calories, you have to research what is healthy for you and how low you can handle. I started off at 1,200 calories at 210 lbs. and I expected 8lbs loss every month. I now consume approximately 1,200 to 1,500 and still lose a consistent amount of weight at 145 lbs.

As a reminder, let me tell you that this may be just the beginning for you and your attitude is what will determine your victory. There will be many challenges ahead of you, and simply face them instead of running away from them. Good luck!

[Vilandra485]

Thanks for the input everyone. And don't worry, I don't look at my changes as daily, but as a lifestyle forever change...I just meant it to say I had stayed under my calorie range for that time so far, cause normally I'm over 2000 on the second day, haha. And I am exercising and changing all areas of my eating as well, so it's not like I'm only doing one healthy exchange a day. (Although it would be better than nothing!)

[CoolMom75]

Originally Posted by SherryA

Well I don't want to play devil's advocate here, but I have been in the shoes of the people you describe. I've been out with my sister and she will order some ridiculously fattening meal and then order a "diet coke" with it. It always has me wondering if she thinks the diet coke alone will make her slim. I think I even said that to her once and her answer was pretty good (I guess). She said "well at least I'm not getting the calories from a full sugar coke as well..."

Ok. I agree. But on the other hand isn't ordering something "diet" if you aren't making a difference in the rest of the things you eat sort of pointless? That's how I saw it anyway.

Of course, I'm not saying you are doing that. I'm assuming you are making all the right changes, not just token changes that make you feel better, but don't really make much of a difference in the long run.

I agree with your sister about the diet pop. No matter if I'm eating like a pig, or eating healthy, I drink diet. I've aquired a taste for diet, so why would I switch, just because I'm eating poorly? When I was packing on the pounds, I still drank my skim milk too, lol.

[shrinkingchica]

Originally Posted by CoolMom75

I agree with your sister about the diet pop. No matter if I'm eating like a pig, or eating healthy, I drink diet. I've aquired a taste for diet, so why would I switch, just because I'm eating poorly? When I was packing on the pounds, I still drank my skim milk too, lol.

My Mom's whole philosophy for this is: Save where you can.

Meaning save yourself from the excess calories where you can. Maybe you can't save it on your meal because you really crave fries, but if you can at least save those 200cal of soda, then at least that is something. And all the misc. cals. like that really add up day after day.

[srmb60]

Oh did anybody see me just jumping on this thread!!!
I love calorie counting. You cannot imagine how much faith I have in it!
Please, please, please, please, please find the Calorie Counters threads here and come hang out. Ask questions, we'll help you.

Most people who pick at you about your food choices simply have no idea. Look to the tree before examining the fruit. If they look and feel how you want to look and feel ... listen. If not ... file them under g!

It is ALL about the small things! Never, never under estimate the impact of small changes. Listen to these gals about a simple thing like a diet drink, low fat mayo, leaving half your fires behind, taking the stairs. It is ALL about the small things!

[FeistyRoo]

I wish they would drop the word diet off the diet sodas and call the rest Zero calorie drinks. Like Coca Cola Zero, Mr. Peb Zero, the rest should just call it a zero calorie soda.

I am getting so tired of people stereo typing people who has a diet drink in their hand as if you must be a standing avocet if you have a diet soda at hand you should be eating a carrot instead of a chocolate bar.

Who cares if I am drinking water or a zero calorie soda.

Some people aren’t on a diet who chooses to drink diet drinks

Diabetic people drinks diet sodas

If you are a person who had train your taste bugs to diet sodas the regular sodas literally taste like syrup.

I grantee ya biggest part of us aren't so dingy in the head thinking drinking diet sodas is some magical diet drink that is going to rub out that candy bar or that fatting meal they just ate with it.


I had drunk diet drinks so much, that is the only thing I can stand when I am on a diet and even when I wasn't, It was my drink of choice because I can't stand the regular sodas.

[Vilandra485]

Originally Posted by FeistyRoo

I am getting so tired of people stereo typing people who has a diet drink in their hand as if you must be a standing avocet if you have a diet soda at hand you should be eating a carrot instead of a chocolate bar.

If you are a person who had train your taste bugs to diet sodas the regular sodas literally taste like syrup.

EXACTLY!! I couldn't have said it better myself! I HATE the taste of sugar in drinks, that's why I drink it, not because I want to save the calories - that's just an added benefit! I haven't drank sugared pop more than a dozen times in the last 10 years, cause it tastes gross, no other reason. I think it does suck, too, when just because you drink a zero calorie pop that you can't have an order of fries with it, too. I say, if it fits into your daily calories it's okay...Rome wasn't built in a day.

[readyfreddy]

i think its all about choosing your battles. i cant tell the dif between diet and regular. i like diet just fine. so there is no reason for me to go regular and have the extra cals. on the other hand, i can tell the difference between a slice of homemade apple pie and a slice of pie made with splenda. if i am going to enjoy it- i enjoy the real stuff. does that make sense??

i too agree- save where you can.

if you have one diet soda a day in place of a regular soda thats what- about 200 cals you are saving? 200 * 356 = 71,200 cals saved over a year. howmany pounds is that??

you might not be losing when you pair a diet soda with spagettii carbonara but the way i look at it is you are preventing gaining those other pounds.


Vilandra- my mom does the same thing. she makes veggies with butter and says dont worry its just a little. it tastes so much better. its all about moderation you can eat it. (which maybe i agree with at my goal but) right now i am not prepared to waste my precious cals on butter with veggies when i like them just fine steamed and salted!!! im sorry you are dealing with insensitive people. thats the pits!! ((hugs))