NO Willpower whatsoever! - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

rysmommy · 01-23-2006, 10:02 AM

I feel like a really bad word i'll refrain from saying. I had a really bad weekend and it's all my fault i hardly worked out at all although i was so mad at myself i did stay up last night and tried my new BL workout video. I killed it this weekend i ate alot of junk food for no reason, im so pathetic i can't even stay on a plan for one month!

Today i weighed in and was down 2lbs since last week but i know that food will catch up to me... I don't know what my problem is i was doing sooo good! I hate being fat i don't know why i keep eating like i like to be fat! I have a vacation im going on in may and there's no way im going to get to my goal if i continue this way. I just make myself sick. well today will be better but i wonder how long it will last i have NO willpower.

srmb60 · 01-23-2006, 10:14 AM

I don't even know what will power is. Do what's right, right now. And while you're doing that, plan the next right thing you're going to do. Small steps, small steps.
I believe that you too often look at the big picture and blow yourself away with too much info.

Kamily828 · 01-23-2006, 10:25 AM

Just take it one day at a time.
Ive screwed up and ate junk that I know I didnt need. We all have. I just say tomorrow I will try to do better.

Hang in there.

rysmommy · 01-23-2006, 10:59 AM

thanks, I just hope i don't give up so easily like i usually do, I need to do this and I know i can that's the difference this year. And even after a bad weekend im just going to dust myself off and push even harder now. We all make mistakes right, im just real good at it! I just have to make my mind up that im going to do this!

ChocLabLover · 01-23-2006, 11:03 AM

Rysmommy, we have all been there. Congrats on picking yourself up and dusting yourself off. We all have bad weekends. The key is to recognize what happened and how to approach it differently the next time around. We all have slips, it is part of the journey we are on.

Nori71 · 01-23-2006, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SusanB

I don't even know what will power is. Do what's right, right now.

Wow - that's a powerful mantra!!!

Kim - We all have setbacks along the way. Sounds like you are doing the right thing and getting back up. I have a saying that is helping me so much this time. Saw it here on 3fc. "Don't trade what you want at the moment for what you want the most." It helps keep my long term goal in perspective. Of course "healthy & slim" will feel better than I do when I eat a candy bar or 2!

treefrogtoes · 01-23-2006, 12:14 PM

Only "dieters" have to use willpower. You are not a dieter! You had and have the courage to make a lifestyle change. Everyday, we make choices. We all have internal communication and make judgements based on what we tell ourselves is or is not okay. This is espically true for me and food. It is NOT easy to change our food habits. I made this commitment to myself just over a year ago, it has been one **** of a bumpy road! Have I always made the best choice I could have made, no. But, I also didn't make the worst choices either. I also got back on the horse, so to speak, as soon as I could. You deserve to be happy in your body, only you can make it happen!

Charles78 · 01-23-2006, 01:18 PM

I really know how you feel. When I was dealing with this myself, I heard a lot of things that really helped me adjust my thinking. Here are a few of the things that struck me the most.

Using willpower to make a lifestyle change is using a short term solution on a long term problem. If someone gave you a task of holding a bucket full of sand 18" off the floor, you could pick it up and use your "willpower" to keep holding it up. No matter how much "willpower" you have, no matter how determined you are... you will drop that bucket at some point. You need to find what can work for you long term. You don't need willpower for that. What you need is willingness. A willingness to change. A willingness to keep trying - knowing that you will never be perfect. A willingness to take it one day, one meal at a time. A willingness to aim for progress, never for perfection. As someone touched on above, you need to work on doing the right things more often than you do what is not healthy for you.

If you fall back into your old patterns, don't apply black and white thinking to it. It is not pass - fail.

When you eat healthy make sure you write down how you were feeling what was going on and reward yourself for it. Use positive self talk to congratulate yourself. When you make unhealthy choices - don't let your mind tell you well I messed up today - I will start back tomorrow. There is no tomorrow - only today. Each meal, everything you eat you have a choice. You have the power within you to make those choices that you need to make to reach your goal.

When I make unhealthy choices, I try and write down not only what was going on - but I make myself come up with 5 things I could have done to avoid making that poor choice. I own up to my actions then I let it go and move on. Beating yourself up only reinforces a negative self image. I am the king of this one. It has been the hardest thing for me to change and I still struggle with it.

You can do it. You will reach your goals. I know you will. You need to know that you will too. I know it is hard. God, do I ever - change is never easy. It takes us out of our comfort zone. You can do it.

I wish you the very best. If I can ever be of any assistance, please let me know. I hate what obesity does to people. I spent 26 years of my life morbidly obese. If I can help anyone avoid going through that, I will.

goalnorolls · 01-23-2006, 01:41 PM

I love this paragraph (from above)

Using willpower to make a lifestyle change is using a short term solution on a long term problem. If someone gave you a task of holding a bucket full of sand 18" off the floor, you could pick it up and use your "willpower" to keep holding it up. No matter how much "willpower" you have, no matter how determined you are... you will drop that bucket at some point. You need to find what can work for you long term. You don't need willpower for that. What you need is willingness. A willingness to change. A willingness to keep trying - knowing that you will never be perfect. A willingness to take it one day, one meal at a time. A willingness to aim for progress, never for perfection. As someone touched on above, you need to work on doing the right things more often than you do what is not healthy for you.

newfiedarling · 01-23-2006, 01:43 PM

I don't think I can offer anything more than has already been mentioned. Charles, you rock!! Just keep plugging away at it and those times you feel you mess up will come less and less as you learn how to cope and handle the situations better.

~Dee

rysmommy · 01-23-2006, 01:56 PM

charles great message thank you its so inspiring to see people that have already been through all this bull and have won! Congrat's i hope to be like you one day. I want to be someone ppl can lean on for help or questions and look up as ispiration. thanks for all the feedback you guy's are the best. I do loath my husband though, he just called and told me he's going to the chinese buffet!! grr! That's my big weekness! im so mad at him!

mthrgoos68 · 01-23-2006, 03:52 PM

rysmommy, I can't add anything new to all the great advice you've gotten here, but I just wanted to let you know how completely I understand! We've all been in exactly that same point and can completely relate to what you're going to. Today is a new day, and its another day into your journey of a healthy lifestyle. Just remember that you're not alone!

SuchAPrettyFace · 01-23-2006, 05:52 PM

Quote:

NO Willpower whatsoever!

Join the club, sister!!

MAJOR stress eating today. All we can do is get back on the horse.

Heather · 01-24-2006, 10:51 AM

rysmommy -- Don't be mad your hubby is going to the Chinese buffet -- be glad he isn't taking you with him to watch him eat!!

seriously, though, ask yourself what you want more:
a) Chinese food which you may enjoy for, what, 20 minutes?
b) A healthy body for the rest of your life?

okay, it's not really a fair choice, because you can answer "a" and have "b" too, but probably not often. OR probably not with the same foods in the same quantities you chose before.

Jen415 · 01-24-2006, 11:23 AM

Charles, I quoted youon my blog--hope you don't mind!!