[telemetrynurse]

My dh is having a birthday! He always, always, always says, "I don't want anything!"

I always try to get him a yummy cake, a card and sometimes a small gift. He literally runs into the house calling, "Where's my gifts?" He's joking, but I do think he'd be disappointed if I didn't get him anything.

He tells me before my birthday: "get whatever you want for yourself". His excuse is that he is too busy and doesn't know what I want.

I don't know, but somehow it just isn't the same thing. To go buy my own gift.

We also don't exchange Christmas gifts with each other.

Is this weird???? Is there anyone else out there that doesn't go all out for spouse's birthdays?

[plb@m]

My bf (of 7yrs) and I go out to eat and a movie for our b-days. (They are 2 weekends apart) And he don't like buying gifts , but he does try at x-mas .

[susie_sunshine]

We really don't do the whole birthday and xmas thing! I buy whatever I want for the most part and so does he. Instead what I do, is put $100 away each occasion toward a trip we'll take together!

[liz321]

I personally believe it is essential to celebrate each other. These are the moments that make memories. That being said he is much better at it than I am.

Liz

[sassybrat25]

If we do get something we get our own gift, but we don't usually go all out. We do buy each other a card at least and try to do something special together, like watch a movie at home or go to a movie and dinner. All we ever really want the other to do is at least pick out a thoughtful card. That's usually enough for us.
"It's not about what you get, it's about the time you spend together." I think it's perfectly normal not to go crazy over your spouse's birthday.

[icmethinner]

I love to make a big deal over other people on their birthdays and I like to feel special on mine. It may sound silly, but it's important to me. My husband is the same way about birthdays and Christmas and frankly, it bothers me. (as I posted before, our problems are far worse than that at this point, but still...) This Christmas he gave me a $50 gift card to go towards a coat. He wrote my name on the envelope and basically tossed it at me Christmas morning. Anyway, yes, I think it is important to celebrate each other.

[DeafinlySmart]

About 5 years into our marriage, my husband left a note on the counter and asked me to read it after he left. When I did, it was hints to other hints. In the end he wanted me to take a relaxing bath and put on the dress that he just washed for me. Someoen would come to the door and I was not to ask questions but to go with them. Sure enough, our friend came to the door and I got in the car and he drove around. Finally we ended up at a special restuarant. Inside I was seated with my husband who had gotten a fresh haircut, arranged for a babysitter, and put on a suit without me knowing. He ordered me a strawberry daquari (the non alcholoic kind because I was pregnant) and he had a card and flowers waiting for me on the table. I didn't get a single gift per say, but all of this was a grand gesture and I will never forget it. It makes me feel very loved.

Suggestions:

Suprise him with tickets to something he likes (2 so you can go).

If you have the money, go to a bed and breakfast for the night.

Buy a small gift and leave a note on the mirror where he will find it and have it lead to other notes and make it challenging for him to find the gift.

Arrange a potluck night with friends of yours, and set up a card night with some beer (or something else he likes to do) and put a happy birthday banner up.

If you live up north, go skiing or tubing for the day. Followed by a resturant and make the waitress sing happy birthday.

One time when we didn't have money, I decorated the house in streamers, doilies, confetti and whatever else I could find. Then I made his favorite dinner. Had some candles sitting out. I put a poster on the door that listed some of my favorite memories of us during that year. I locked the door. When I heard it jiggle, I lite the candles. He was very suprised and the cost was very minimal.

Look at your towns tourism website and see what you can find.

Suprise him with some love coupons and his favorite dinner and movie

Get a subscription of something he likes. My husband likes gaming and got a subscription to an online monthly interactive game he likes. $8/mo paid in advance. Celebrate still though.

Basically use your imagination. Celebrate your love for him mostly. We take for granted that telling each other, etc is enough. The grand gestures matter. It's what keeps me fond about my husband when times are down (and of course knowing that he is basically a good man).

[DeeJae37]

Me and my husband always go out for the kids, but not on ourselves, but here's what we usually do, (I know it sounds stupid) but both of always just get a snack cake, like Little Debbie's, and put like one candle on it and give it to each other on our birthdays. Simple but still sweet. We also do not go "all out" on Christmas for each other either, our happiness is making the kids extra happy.......

[honey-dipped]

Originally Posted by DeeJae37

.... here's what we usually do, (I know it sounds stupid) but both of always just get a snack cake, like Little Debbie's, and put like one candle on it and give it to each other on our birthdays. Simple but still sweet.

That is SO cute! It's one of those small gestures, that one can remember forever. I love that idea .

My husband and I do special things together and give each other things that we've both been coveting for a while. One year, we took a private flight around Okinawa for my birthday and went to dinner. Mostly we do dinner and a movie and go shopping for the special gift together .

[flipafart]

I love celebrating any and everything, we are both romantics so celebrations
are away of life for us. On the other hand if people really don't care to celebrate there birthday they should not have too. It's all about living the
life you have the way you want. be happy and live well

[happytx]

We go all out for birthdays, christmas, anniversay's all that, but its very important to me, and hubby understands that, so I think thats the key, everyone has their own priority's whats important to you may not be to me and vice versa. Do what makes y'all the happiest! :-)

[Alora1978]

This may sound silly but on my hubby's birthday we normally go on a fishing trip together. He loves fishing and although I'm not much of a fisherman I enjoy being out on the lake with him in the boat and I keep any and all complaints to myself. We then go out to eat and finish up the evening at the hotel... LOL.

Amy

[MoNewEngland]

I used to buy my husband all kinds of birthday gifts but now after 15 years of marriage I usually just bring him out to dinner. Last year I don't think I gave him anything because he had just come home from a 2 week vacation with one of his friends (I didn't want to go). I do think he's dropped a hint though a couple of times about me not doing anything lately for his birthday. I think I'll make him a "healthy version" of cheesecake for Valentines Day. He is not a good shopper. I have finally convinced him after many awful presents (2' tall glass thermometer that he thought was decorative, a 12" tall hourglass he thought I'd love to put on my desk at work...just to name a few!) to just give me either money or something that I specifically asked for. I think this Christmas was the first year I didn't have to return anything. I wrote out a few things I wanted and he had my sister pick them up. He also gave me 3 envelopes in my stocking with money in each one

[CynthiaB]

My husband and I think that we don't need to wait until a birthday or Christmas to express our appreciation or love for each other. Once in awhile throughout the year one of us will surprise the other with something. For Christmas we'll get each other a few small gifts. Our birthdays are about a month apart in the summer and we call that our "Birthday Month", and usually we'll get something rather pricey together so our "gift" is sort of combined. Example: one year it was a surround-sound system, another year it was a new computer, practical stuff like that. But we don't generally make a big deal of those one or two days out of the year.

[Oh, but we do go out to dinner for any "special occasion" like birthdays, holidays, days off from work, pay-days, days when all the cats behaved, grocery-shopping days, days that I test the smoke alarms... you know, just the very special days! ;-) Sheesh... no wonder I had to join 3FC!]

So, Elizabeth, from reading all these posts it sounds like you and hubby are perfectly normal!

Cindy B.

[chicagoposter]

so my birthday was last saturday, and my bf doesn't get me anything now (he did when we were dating long distance..). this really bothers me. i'm sorry, but i don't care if someone says they don't want a gift, they at least want SOME effort made. we were supposed to go out to dinner and we NEVER fight, well, we got into a huge blow out right before dinner, so i didn't want to go anymore. so basically the one thing he does for my birthday he didn't do, and i'm super bitter about it. it felt like any other day, except for worse because we got into that fight. i don't know how we got into the habit of not doing anything for our birthdays (except going out for a nice dinner), but it sucks. we celebrate eachother throughout the year, but this is the one day that is all yours. for his birthday i usually make him a card and cake. at least that's something. this year since it's his 30th, i am renting a boat, and having a surprise party on the boat with all his friends and i'm having it catered.

sorry for ranting, but i'm still super disappointed about the way things turned out.