I am reading the book "A million little pieces" which is about a drug addict in recovery. In the book today I read these words...
"when things are tough, and when I don't think I can last another minute, if I just hold on tight with everything I've got, the **** gets better."
This really struck me today. I have known for a long time that I am a food addict. I've been having a pretty good run lately, having a small bit of success. And I think it's because I have been doing exactly as the quote says. Just hanging on tight. When you are trying to change your life, not every minute is tough, alot of them are easy, you just plug along doing the new routine. But it is when we have challenges, weather it be a dinner out, a party or simply sitting at home and having cravings, that's when we need to hold on tight with everything we've got, because the **** will get better.
Sandi!!!! I said on one of the threads that I had just finished reading this book, and it did wonders for me!!!! I loved the book, and will keep it and reread it when I feel that I am powerless. Hold tight, and we will get through it. I saw him on Oprah a few weeks ago. He also has another book My friend Leonard.
I haven't read this book yet but I intend to soon. I saw him on Oprah a while back and LOVE his take on things. In my opinion, he offers one of the most honest and realistic views of addiction and recovery.
And, I can attest to the fact that if you just hang on, the **** gets better. I tend to take for granted how far I've come, especially as I inch closer to my goal weight. Everything seems so easy from here that it is hard to imagine food and weight ever being THAT big a deal for me. I know that it was, and I remember feeling challanged, wanting to quit, barely holding on but not necessarily the specifics of those feelings (and I still face challanges just not as often and not as difficult). I make a point to review my old posts/journals every once in a while so that I can better understand where I have been and where I am. When I am sailing along they remind me of what I stand to lose if I get too relaxed and when things get hard they remind me that, indeed, THE **** GETS BETTER IF I JUST HOLD ON! Incidently, I believe this is true of life in general as well as weight loss, addiction recovery, etc.
I'm reading this book right now too. It really is a startling how the world of a substance addict compares to that of a food addict, isn't it? I felt like so much of the tools and knowledge he gained through this experience could very easily be applied to our own circumstances. And it's really kind of scary to think just how alike these various addictions are. I too, loved that particular quote as well Sandi, just hang on, the **** really does get better. I also really liked this insight from Meg over in the maintainers forum about the very same book. This is definitely a must read for anyone suffering from any type of addiction, IMO.
This reminds me of a post I stumbled on at another club here...
"Eating addictions are one of the worst addictions as we need food to survive. You can avoid the drug dealers, bars, casinos, ect, but we all need food to survive. So what happens when you get tempted every day? You are told that one little piece of cake will not kill you. You have been doing well, so you decide to reward your self with something that is not o "your plan". And 1 meal turns into 1 day, a week, a month, a few years? Should drug addicts reward them selves with just one fix? If we set diet rewards with food that we should stay away from, we set the stage for failure. Food should not be used as an reward to an addict."
Interesting, huh? And I have found myself say outloud or even under my breath a million times "I have been doing really well, I can have a 2ND piece of CAKE!".
No, I can't.
boiaby: I was thinking the same exact thing as I read the book. I thought I was going crazy as I was reading along and I was relating so much.
There is no "magic power" or what not. It's a decision. I choose not to weigh 265 lbs anymore. I choose not to eat bad foods. I choose to move this body of mine.
I think this is an incredible book. I wasn't sure I'd love the style it's written in but I have loved it and I have so much respect for the honesty with which it is written. Takes a lot of courage...
I went over to maintainers and read your post, Boiaby. You are so eloquent (and wise) that I'll gnash my teeth to oblivion in total frustration if you don't write that damn book so many of us need to read!!
This reminds me of a post I stumbled on at another club here...
"Eating addictions are one of the worst addictions as we need food to survive. You can avoid the drug dealers, bars, casinos, ect, but we all need food to survive. So what happens when you get tempted every day? You are told that one little piece of cake will not kill you. You have been doing well, so you decide to reward your self with something that is not o "your plan". And 1 meal turns into 1 day, a week, a month, a few years? Should drug addicts reward them selves with just one fix? If we set diet rewards with food that we should stay away from, we set the stage for failure. Food should not be used as an reward to an addict."
I wanted to comment on the idea that "we" have to eat to survive, but drug addicts/alcoholics can just turn their backs.
My friend is working her way through OA, and she showed me a little blurb she had been reading (this is a famous story, not a local one)(and this version is paraphrased, I don't have a copy of it with me):
A new member was listening at a meeting, and heard a woman say that she had been successful both in AA and OA. The new member thought that it must have been much easier to be successful in AA, because one doesn't need to drink to stay alive. At the end of the meeting, the new member expressed this opinion to the woman who had been speaking. That woman chuckled and said, "they were both very difficult. In some ways OA was harder."
The new member expressed disbelief, repeating the idea that you don't have to drink to live but you do have to eat. The woman who had been speaking smiled.
"I drink every day," she said, to the astonishment of the new member. "The difference is what I chose to drink. I also eat every day. I eat those foods that will help me, not those foods that will feed my disease."
The idea being, of course, that everything is a choice. Yes, we have to eat to survive. But do we have to eat sugar, desserts, fatty foods, white carbs, foods that trip our Binge Buttons? Are those the only foods available to us? Or can we chose those foods that help our bodies grow and stay healthy? An interesting thing to think about.
I find all of these little blurbs very insightful! I know that (as one of those blurbs says) we chose what we put in our mouths. But training ourselves to make the right choices after years of poor ones is very difficult!
Up until reacently I never thought of my eating as an addiction, heck I didn't even really think it was a problem. But as I've tried and tried to quit, it doesn't work very well... not without lots of work!
"I drink every day," she said, to the astonishment of the new member. "The difference is what I chose to drink. The difference is what I chose to drink. I also eat every day. I eat those foods that will help me, not those foods that will feed my disease."
Even though it is not from the book this thread is about, it really made me think of whether I have made excuses once again in life for myself. I never thought about the choice of drink for an alcoholic. I just thought well heck they just stay away from it.
But I have a friend who was a severe alcoholic and he still goes to parties. I sometimes observe how he leaves early before the crowds start to drink a lot. Maybe that is what I need to do.....beg off the invitations out to dinner or to lunch. Just avoid it until I can handle it. Keep the house clean of "toxic foods" for me (like skippy peanut butter). Alcoholics can develop hepatitis to name one disease but we can develop diabetes and many others too.
Just my two cents.......maybe until I can control myself .........................I should try to stay away and detox.
Darlene - I'm pretty sure your quote IS from A Million Little Pieces. I'm reading it right now and just read that passage yesterday. I too am really enjoying it and finding it insightful.
A million little pieces
all in good time my friend.
Jilly!
