[Yogini]

I am sticking to my goals and losing weight...I feel GREAT about it at this point!

However, at moments, I feel like I'm not doing enough to lose weight or I worry that I won't lose unless I really restrict my calories even lower or workout even more but I try to moderate myself. It's working out so far but I keep a watch on it because I don't want to develop such an obsession and start to worry so much that I stop enjoying myself and the process of becoming healthier.

Does anyone else relate? I am doing this to become HEALTHIER and I find it's becoming a challenge to deflect all the negative thoughts and worries that keep surfacing.

[PhysDom]

Hm. I started thinking 'I'm going to be healthier now!' (I've had some pretty crazy medical problems and this is the first time that moderate caloric restriction, low fat, and exercise hasn't caused me to black out repeatedly).
But since then I've become a lot more focused on the weight and I find myself a little cout of control, too.
I try and tell myself that it's about the 'healthy eating', but it's hard to keep that in mind when I have this damn weight ticker and goal in mind...

[Yogini]

I KNOW that losing 22 pounds in a month is pretty rapid! It's silly to expect to keep losing at that rate (but I'd LOVE to!) I am ready to keep my lifestyle at a healthy place (exercise, eating etc.) but it would be nice to reach my weight and fitness goals sooner!

[GonnaLooseitagain]

You know when I first started changing my eating habits, I lost 10lbs per month. I was so excited. Well at the 33lbs mark my loss plateaued and it took 3 weeks for my body to adjust. But now in retrospect I see that I am 4 months into my changes and even still I am averaging 9lbs per month. At time of my plateau, I added in exercise as I hadnt been exercising at all (besides normal daily activity) this helped me and i'm sure it will continue to help me keep my loss amounts up. Maybe that is something you should try to focus on..not the month by month losses, but the overall average. Remember you want this to be permanent, not temporary, it takes time to build "healthy" habits. I know I would LOVE to be at my goal by New Years, but you know it isnt feasable for the long term. So what if it takes me longer, it is for my health and the REST of my life. Good luck to you.

[chick_in_the_hat]

Originally Posted by GonnaLooseitagain

Remember you want this to be permanent, not temporary, it takes time to build "healthy" habits.

Exactly!!! I don't know how old you are - but you have to be able to keep this up the rest of your life...goal weight will come in time...then you will have the new struggle of maintenance.

You are doing great! Be proud of yourself!

[TBJ333]

Yeah, imagine what you will have to do to maintain your weight when you are thirty years older. Do you think you can keep up your program? Probably not! So try to have a plan that is close to what you think you will have to do in order to maintain a weight loss for thirty years. Yeah, you'll lose more slowly, but you'll keep the weight off, because you'll have developed those healthy eating habits you were talking about.

Also, I know you're vegan. I eat vegan occasionally, so from personal experience, I know that we have to eat much more bulk in order to get the calories we need. Think about the amount of space protein-rich vegetables and grains take up inside your stomach... and then think about how much space two slices of cheese take up. You are probably eating way fewer calories than you were before.

In my experience, if I eat vegan, I tend to eat 1300 calories per day, even with a vegan dessert in my daily diet. If I ate like that for a long time, eventually I'd be down to 115 lbs... way too small on my 5'7" body. So I know from personal experience that it takes time to adjust to how much food you need to eat when you have an entirely plant-based diet. (Not saying you shouldn't be vegan, just that it is hard to eat as many calories, because we feel fuller faster.)

[stacylambert]

Hi again Yogini! I'll pm you again soon..

Anyway, I know how you feel. I feel like all I think about it diet/exercise. Like I'm either at the gym or planning food or doing a video or on the computer looking at this site or videos. I feel like I'm getting obsessed and it worries me a little. We already talked about how I cut too many calories and and had to increase them (by the way it worked!). My feeling is because I'm a type A personality I get obsessive over things very easily. Like with school if I don't get 100% on something I get all depressed and now it's the same with the weight loss. If I don't lose my target 3 lbs a week I feel like a failure so I obsess over everything. Do you have that issue in other areas as well?

[blues4miles]

I can sympathize with the obsession about it. I think obsessing about your weight, or about how you'll look, or goals that can really be reached or fulfilled is misleading.

When I dieted the last time around (and you'd think I'd have learned this from watching both my parents do the same thing many times over the years) I was so excited to hit my goal weight (I came within 10 lbs of it). I thought that when I got there, I could finally indulge every now and then and all that. And the truth is, I can indulge every now and then NOW. Nothing is going to change when I hit my goal weight. My outlook then shouldn't be any different then it is now. Sure, then I can give myself a 5 lb limit and say that when I gain 5 lbs from goal weight I can really re-focus on healthy eating and exercise and lose it again, but same goes for now. I need to eat healthy for the rest of my life. For myself I am counting calories and while I do hope to get to a point where I won't be logging calories every day, I know I will still need to look at the labels and still have that magical 1200 or 1400 number in my head, whatever my body feels satisfied with to maintain my goal weight.

When I regained the weight last time, I have found the discouragement has helped me this time around. I log my calories on fitday, and I log every single bad piece of cake or every single bad thanksgiving meal. I count it a victory that I am admitting to eating that food, and letting it count against my numbers for the day and my average for the week. Success for me is when I actually average around 1200 for a week. Sometimes I hit 1300 or so, and I feel okay that I didn't let myself go totally to the dogs for one day. Sometimes I have one really really bad day, but I know that I can still go back to being good the next day. I also count my success in continuing to exercise. Not because I want to lose weight or look good, but because I can feel my fitness level rising. Physical tasks are becoming easier for me, and I can feel my strength growing. I have gotten used to the fact that I will never be thin and that is not my goal. In fact, due to my failure last time, even when my scale says I've lost weight, I rarely consider it a true loss until I've seen it straight for 2 or 3 weeks, or until another loss after that lasts me another week I'll count the first. I know that any healthy amount less than what I was before is better for me, and I am focusing on the lifestyle.

Now on the matter of obsession (I know, you're tired of reading my novel) I obsess a lot. But not about weight. I think a lot all day about what I am going to eat for dinner, how many calories are in it, and how I can balance out my whole day's meals. I know one big meal during the day will leave me hungry later and vice versa. I also visit these forums a lot when I'm not too busy, and it is truly an addiction But I think in an empowering way. The advice offered on here for all aspects of life is really priceless, and I think it's the part of my new lifestyle that really nurishes my soul. Anyways, those are just my thoughts on all of that.

[LovesBassets]

I struggled with this for a long time. And I actually think (as strange as this sounds) one of the reasons I never really put effort into losing weight before was because I was terrified of becoming obsessed with it.

My Mom was anorexic when I was growing up, so I basically thought that "dieting" could ONLY be done through absolute obsession. It wasn't until I left home that I realized how NOT NORMAL my mother's behavior was -- like weighing herself 3 times a day and recording her weight (down to 3 decimal places) on a clipboard in the bathroom. THAT'S obsessive behavior. As is having a note on the fridge that says "1 orange = 30 calories = fat, fat, fat," which we had on OUR fridge for at least a decade.

Sorry...that turned into a rant...

ANYWAY, I've since learned that weight loss CAN be achieved in a healthy way. I still (sometimes) wonder and worry about whether I'm going "too far," etc. But as time goes by, eating good, healthy food and exercising regularly has simply become part of my life. I may seem obsessed to some people (I have friends who think I'm "neurotic" about going to the gym) but I've actual just chosen to devote a good portion of myself to becoming -- and staying -- fit. I look at it as a new hobby; one that I want to put a lot of time and energy into.

It may be that you feel like you're getting "obsessed" when in fact it's a simple matter of your life priorities shifting a bit. (?)

I don't know how helpful that was...I think I started rambling .

[Heather]

I too sometimes feel like I'm obsessing a bit ... what other activity do I spend so much time on, aside from work and sleeping? But I'm trying to keep a kind of balance, and even over a few months I'm seeing some parts of it get easier -- I know what to have for breakfast and lunch without having to really think, in part because I HAVE been so obsessive about logging in all my food...

Okay, I don't know where I'm going with this... suffice it to say I have that concern too...

[MorticiaAddams]

Ive learned this after many years , many diffrent diets and many tears.
Our worst enemy in this battle is actually ourselves.
How many times have you told yourself this wont matter to much. I can have this just this once. I dont desearve this. Im never going to be as thin as her. I will never look like her, I cant do this. I cant take this anymore.
Its always us. Its always yourself that makes the changes and allows yourself to do the things you know are wrong.
The only person we have to smack around and get in the right frame of mind is ourself.
We need to be telling ourself the more positve and the right things that need to be going thru our brain. We need to talk to ourself more and give the reason why we should be getting up and hitting the gym or that we should not touch that piece of bread they brought to our table or that we are beautiful on the outside as well as the in.
How many times today did you tell yourself any of these things today.
Were they more negative then positive ?

[LovesBassets]

Well said, Morticia !

I've been thinking a bit more about this thread, and it occured to me that the "obsessiveness" may kind of come and go depending on what stage of weight loss you're at. I know that when I first started out, I HAD to be obsessive about changing my food habits. I was drinking 4 - 5 cans of Coke a day, eating (yikes) SCHOOL LUNCHES like mac & cheese, greasy pizza, etc. every day (I was a teacher), and then going home and having either a whole large pizza or big bag of Doritos for dinner. I had eaten that way for YEARS. I thought I "needed" these things. And slowly, I began replacing all of those nasty things with healthier options. But I had to be SO focused and tough with myself to do it. After a while, it really does become more of a habit, and you don't have to think (or obsess) about those decisions so much. I also find that as you start to see real changes in your body -- and start feeling like you're really getting somewhere -- it's much easier to stick with everything.

So unfortunately, it's those first days, weeks, and months that are really rough and that may actually require some obsessing on your part. But Yogini, you're 100% right to worry about becoming TOO obsessed. You'll need to decide for yourself whether what you're doing/thinking is becoming disruptive to your life in some way. It's a balance, and it's tough. But it DOES get easier, I promise .

[tsots]

It seems like you and I have similiar problem. I started out to be healthier, and everything went very well. But like you mentioned I am so obsessed that I don't really enjoy myself anymore. I constantly worry about not working out enough or eating too much... etc. Its just pain when you obsessed with everything you do. I always feel guilty for eating, and when I go out to workout I always end up adding more and more to it. I will say I will work out 1 hour and then I end up working out for 2:30 hours... etc. Its just so stressful.

[JayEll]

It's good to exercise, and it's good to be aware of food choices and what you're eating. Being obsessed and adding more exercise or cutting down more on food, though--well, I have to ask, where is it leading?

Me, I've got a full-time job to do, and therefore I have to schedule a certain length of time every day for exercise. I can't really go beyond it. Likewise with food, I have a calorie goal, and that's what I try to stick with. My point is that in losing weight, I can't really do things way out of line with what I can do just in normal, daily life.

And that's really better in the long run anyway, I think. If I were pushing exercise, I know I'd eventually get exhausted or maybe even hurt. (I overdid it a couple of months ago and ended up with bursitis in both shoulders.)

No matter how hard I work, the weight isn't going to be gone by next week--so I try to relax and just keep going. Walking toward the goal instead of trying to run the whole way.

Cheers!
Jay

[angel-eyes]

With me......a new diet kicks off with alot of enthusiasm and I'm pumped because I want to succeed and I start to lose weight. All goes well until I derail with a plateau. Then I scour more sites trying to devour more info....to keep motivated during a plateau or yoyo the same 2-3 pounds over and over again. Then the next phase is over obsessing....going from not caring about the scale (because the weight is coming off and I feel it in my clothes) to a weekly weighin and charting the above said yoyo....to NOW the daily weigh in and what is going on? I know right now I'm PMS'ing and I've been having these tremendous MOOD swings....(like a crazy woman) so I'm not thinking clearly right now but tommorow is weigh in and I DO NOT want another gain. I've stayed OP and can't figure out why the stall for over 3 weeks now. I excercise 5 days/week with alternate muscle groups daily (so to give my muscles worked a rest) and also do 30-45 min of cardio after my weight training. Any words of wisdom girls? You've all been there and I would certainly appreciate any help!!