Aside from a regular doctor an OB/GYN is neccessary. It is always a good idea to go once a year for a regular checkup.
Thats not necessarily true. You don't have to go to an OB/GYN for an annual pelvic/pap. You can go to a family doctor or a nurse practitioner.
I HATE the fact that the field of OB/GYN is run by MEN! They can't *know* anything about a woman's body except from a textbook. Unless there is a problem, and you need surgery (which OB/GYN's *are* surgeons specializing in women's health), you don't need to go to one...if you do, your regular dr./nurse practitioner will refer you.
The percentage of male OB-GYN's is significantly decreased these days. If you look at any residency program for training these docs, women outnumber the men by vast amounts. Many male OB's are forced to specialize in high-risk OB or Gyn-oncology because it is difficult for them to make it as a regular ob-gyn because so many women prefer female doctors. So, you'll find that the field of OB-GYN is less and less male with each passing day. Wait-times to schedule an appt. with a female doctor in a practice are usually much longer than male wait-times. I wasn't really sure what you meant by male-run, anyway...since you're dealing with individual doctors, and there are so many female OB-GYN's these days.
Now if you're talking about OB-Gyn departments in an academic institution, you may see a higher percentage of men since more men go into academic medicine than women.
I so understand how you feel. I put off going... until there is no option. But, take the time and go for yourself. Do you have someone that could go with you? I have had my spouse go with me for my first appointment just to get his opinion and honestly - I get so nervous that I have forgotten to ask quesitons that I really wanted to ask...
1) Do you worry about going to the doctor with your obesity? Are they kind to you? How do they address your weight issues? Yes - I hate addressing the issue - but my current doctor has been wonderful, honest, firm and considerate. Their education does not give them the right to be condescending, rudeness is not going to help.
2) Have you had bad doctor experiences and how did you deal with it? I did not go back - I found another doctor.
3) What kind of doctor would you suggest I look for (I feel really stupid for not knowing), an internist? family practice? general practioner? I don't really know what the difference is. I go to General Practioner - she is my primary care physcian and she is qualified to handle everything from a sinus infection to a full female exam.
I know of some people that have gone in and just basically "interviewed" a doctor before they put time into making them their primary care physcian. We have moved a whole lot - but when I am trying to find a new doctor, I go in for a "check-up" and do just a "getting to know you" type of visit. I dread going to the doctor so much - that I just cannot go to a doctor that I am not 100% in tune with. I wish you luck with your doctor search, talk to people, see who they like and ask lots of questions.
Thank you all so much for your honest responses! I really, really appreciate it. Just knowing that others like me do this all the time and it's not a big deal makes me feel better.
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Originally Posted by jtammy
When I look back at myself, I sometimes think that maybe I felt like I wasn't "worth" going to the doctor. I take my children to the doctor for check-ups and when they're ill and I encourage my husband to go for regular checkups and when he feels ill, but I made myself suffer being sick and not getting treatment because I am obese. I know it's not logical, but I also know that those feelings were there, in the back of my mind. I'm not saying that's how you feel, because obviously I don't know that, but that is part of how I perceived myself. We have to remember, that no matter our size, we deserve to have medical care and treatment.
Tammy, I hadn't given a lot of thought to why I think the way I do about the doctor, but what you said particularly hit a nerve. I, too, encourage everyone around me to go, but rarely feel like I deserve the same attention since I have failed in so many other aspects to care for myself to this point. That's obviously an area I need to work on! Thank you all again for your encouragement. I'm working up the nerve to go now...
I haven't read the whole thread, but I feel the same about doctors.
When I have to go - which is hardly ever, luckily - I just steel myself against it. You deserve good medical care. You deserve to be treated with dignity and if the doctor says anything stupid then you shouldn't feel bad about yourself. He/she should.
Again in my experience doctors don't know much about diets, weight loss or nutrition. Definitely not the psychology of weight loss. They aren't taught that stuff in med school, just anatomy, so don't hold it against them.
I'm not keen on doctors or dentists. I haven't been to the doctor for nearly 4 years, and the dentist for much longer than that. I got a letter from my doctors surgery a year or so back asking if I wanted to be taken off the list because I never went. I'm generally pretty healthy, and have never really had a "reason" to see a doctor, so haven't been. Before I partly put it down to a weight-related thing, in particular a fear of finding out how much I actually weighed (I was in scale avoidance mode for a long time!) or being told to lose weight. I was in denial and a visit would have made me confront the issue more than I wanted to.
But I've been a "healthy" weight for 6 months, and not obese for well over a year, and I still haven't been. I'll be less hesitant about going now than I used to be, maybe, but until I really feel like I need to I suspect it won't be anytime soon.
I want to preface this post by saying I am going to come off like a bully. I realize that & I don't care. I mean well, and I don't think you're a bad person. We all have our concerns & crosses to bear, this is yours. It's ok.
If there is something really wrong with you, ignoring it isn't going to make it go away. There are a lot of diseases if left unchecked, can do some serious damage. Take high blood pressure for instance. Left unchecked & untreated for years, it can enlarge your heart, making it harder for all your organs to work properly. This is not my opinion, these are medical facts! I watch enough of "Dr G Medical Examiner" to have been scared into taking my high blood pressure meds every day. I even have someone else pick them up for me if I can't make it to the pharmacy.
Please see a doctor. Please? Even if there IS something wrong, at least you will know, and knowing is half the battle, correct?
Sorry for preaching, but dang, dude. You can't ignore your health. It's all you've got & once you lose it you can't get it back.
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Originally Posted by CLCSC145
What if the gown doesn't fit?
I don't know where you live but there are lots more bigger people than there used to be, at least in the Midwest. I've never had this problem. Once people have your medical chart, they can see that I am 5'7 & 300 pounds, therefore I need a bigger gown than the average bear. They don't weigh you to embarrass you. They're not sitting in their break room thinking up ways to humiliate us, it's generally for...I don't know...medical reasons.
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What if they yell at me for my weight or for not seeing a doctor?
I've already yelled at you for not seeing a doctor, and if you can handle me, you can handle anyone. As for the doctor, you have to find a chubby guy. I say that b/c every time I've seen a chubby doctor, they say the same thing, "Now I'm supposed to tell you to lose weight, but I can't very well say that with conviction." and pats his belly.
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The humiliation of a stranger seeing me naked makes me break out in a cold sweat. What if they find something terrible wrong with me?
It's not a stranger on the subway, it's a medical professional. Someone who is being paid to help you. Aome deep breaths should help you through it & you might not need to get naked on the first visit.
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It's not at all logical-- something could be wrong with me whether they find it or not, but my heart is pounding just thinking about it.
I think it's the not knowing that's making you so nervous. I think once you do it you'll be fine.
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I probably have high blood pressure or type 2 diabetes and (I strongly suspect, PCOS) or something. And you'd think that would be enough to force me to get checked. Instead it makes me not want to go all the more, which makes no sense whatsoever.
If something really is wrong, the sooner they find out, the sooner you can treat it. It really is as simple as that. And maybe they can help you to personalize your weight loss efforts a little more.
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I cry whenever I think about making an appointment. I went to a psychologist about low-self esteem and depression and she told me to go get anti-depressants. When I told her I had a huge phobia about going to the doctor (hoping she could offer some help), she literally rolled her eyes at me, told me to get over it because I was being irrational, and said I had to make an appointment before we met the next week. I never went back.
Yeah, that was counterproductive of her. You might need some anti-anxiety meds or some visualization techniques to help you through this. Every person handles stress differently.
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Obviously, I don't have a doctor, but I know I need to try.
And that is the first step! Congratulations!! :hugs:
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So here are some of my questions I'd be really interested in your input on:
1) Do you worry about going to the doctor with your obesity? Are they kind to you? How do they address your weight issues?
I don't worry about going to the doctor. They are all concerned about my weight. Just as I am concerned about winning the lottery. I know I need to lose weight, what am I, stupid? I wash this body every day, I dress it, I moisturize it, I exercise it, I KNOW I need to lose. They are kind to me. The only person who is a bit harsh is my kidney doctor, but he has reason to be insistent. My BMI is a 41, and it needs to be 30 or below before I could be considered for a transplant. That means if I got into a car accident tomorrow (*knocks wood*) and my kidneys were damaged, I would have to wait for a healthy kidney in line behind people who did have healthy BMI's. Also the rate of death after transplant DOUBLES if you are obese @ the time of transplant. I don't want to deal with that, either. Granted, I am 10-20 years away from transplant. But still. I want to do all I can.
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2) Have you had bad doctor experiences and how did you deal with it?
I have told at least one doctor that I wasn't going to have gastric bypass, ever, so while I appreciated the concern, scheduling me for a consult w/a bariatric surgeon was pointless.
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3) What kind of doctor would you suggest I look for (I feel really stupid for not knowing), an internist? family practice? general practioner? I don't really know what the difference is.
I would say, for now, since you've not been to a doctor in so long, an internist would be a good start. They can run labs (you pee in a cup, they take some blood) so they can get levels like your cholesterol, sugars for diabetes, etc. They will also take your BP to see if it's high, keep both feet on the floor for that to avoid White Coat Syndrome.
When making the appt they might ask what your complaint is, just let them know that you haven't been to a doctor in awhile & would like to make sure everything is ok. They shouldn't need to see you naked on this visit.
For my girly parts, I see a Nurse Practitioner as well. She can do everything an OB/GYN can do, except deliver a baby. And if you do have PCOS, she can recommend one of her colleagues whose specialty is PCOS, so you can get the best help possible.
I don't mind male doctors, but since they don't have vaginas, I insist on a woman for those appointments. My internist is a boy & he has told me that losing X amount of weight will not get me off my blood pressure meds. His exact words were, "I have a girl who is 16 & weighs 100 pounds, and is on blood pressure medicine. Your weight might have nothing to do with it, we'll see when we get there."
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4) Are there doctors out there that specialize in obese patients who won't push weight-loss surgery? I've tried to do some research on the internet, but most obesity doctors I found seem to focus on gastric bypass, which is not the direction I want to go.
I know that we have some here, I think you will have to just say that when you are making the appointment. Let them know that you want to lose weight, but aren't considering gastric at this point.
I guess the main thing to keep in mind is: YOU are steering this ship! YOU are paying to see someone, if they treat you badly, walk out! That's the good thing about doctors, they are a dime a dozen. If you aren't clicking with one, you can always find another.
Good luck & let us know how it goes!!
Last edited by SuchAPrettyFace; 11-20-2006 at 01:20 AM.
Reason: formatting
I have to admit that I do not go for yearly exams, general or gynecological, and that I see no reason to. (It's probably a family thing. Even my pre-med/EMT/CPR-teachin' kid sister doesn't go to yearlies.) I know my height, weight and blood pressure, and I don't see any reason to have someone else record these. I am interested in having some bloodwork done, so I'll probably make an appointment in the next year or so. In my case, I don't think my doctor aversion has anything to do with my extra mass. I actually reckon that I'll attend fewer doctor's appointments as my eating gets healthier and my exercise becomes more regular.
That being said, it might help if you called a few doctors and discussed your concerns before attending an appointment. Or, you could right a letter to the doctor. Maybe it would be easier to actually go if you knew that your doctor was already aware of and sympathetic to your concerns.
I think it is dangerous not to go to the gynecologist at least every 3 years or so (more often if you are higher risk). Look at it this way...you really can't see in there, so if there's something wrong (like cancer or other problems) you won't know it until it's gotten pretty far. When you end up with a hysterectomy instead of a smaller procedure, you might wish you had gone a little earlier. However, how much risk you want to take is up to you. I personally think a hysterectomy is a high price to pay for not going to an exam every so often.
I think gyne appts. are particularly important because as I said, you can't see in there. If you have a tumor growing out of your forehead or if you have a lump somewhere that you can feel easily, you at least have a chance of catching it early on your own. Yes, the chances are low that a particular person will have a gynecological cancer, but the consequences are painful. That's why I go...and I am a VERY LOW RISK individual according to all the info out there...And believe me, I far from look forward to it, but it's one of those things you have to do...like brushing your teeth.
The percentage of male OB-GYN's is significantly decreased these days. If you look at any residency program for training these docs, women outnumber the men by vast amounts. Many male OB's are forced to specialize in high-risk OB or Gyn-oncology because it is difficult for them to make it as a regular ob-gyn because so many women prefer female doctors. So, you'll find that the field of OB-GYN is less and less male with each passing day. Wait-times to schedule an appt. with a female doctor in a practice are usually much longer than male wait-times. I wasn't really sure what you meant by male-run, anyway...since you're dealing with individual doctors, and there are so many female OB-GYN's these days.
Now if you're talking about OB-Gyn departments in an academic institution, you may see a higher percentage of men since more men go into academic medicine than women.
The field of ob/gyn is traditionally run by males... men have traditionally held the role of doctor. The field is still predominantly male.
We have all male ob/gyns here. They also succeeded in banning the family practitioners from doing deliveries at our local hospital. There are no birth centers or nurse midwives less than 3 hours away from here.
From what I have seen in my clinicals with both male and female ob/gyns, I am glad that I don't go to them and should I ever get pregnant lets just hope I can find a certified nurse midwife. This, in and of itself, is a whole other topic...so I'll just stop there.
Hello,
I'm not fond of going to the doctor either, but I have one now who is hilarous, very thorough, has absolutely no bedside manner and treats me like a close friend. Don't those descriptions sound completely contradictory?
My GP is very straight-forward and abrupt, almost to the point of rudeness, but I've heard her talk on the phone to her husband the same way. It's just her personality. She doesn't look you in the eye when you are explaining your symptoms, but you can tell she's processing what you are saying. She's never mentioned gastric bypass, and I don't think she would.
She's also African-American and a little pudgy herself. Her office is independent and not affiliated with a "clinic" with several drs.
My recommendation: 1) find out which drs your insurance will cover; 2) find out which ones are taking patients; 3) "google" them -- more than likely their photos are on the internet -- I'd look for someone female and a little fat b/c that's what I am (only I'm a lot fat); 4) take care when getting involved with a dr. owned clinic -- they are in business to make money and often refer to their own partners, not necessarily to the best physician if you need any specialized treatments; 5) if you are seeking some kind of surgical assistance to lose weight, you will probably have to have a recommendation for your insurance to cover it anyway -- that's why I recommend a GP or Family Doc.
Beyond that, I say ... Go back to the one that gives out free drug samples
I think it is dangerous not to go to the gynecologist at least every 3 years or so (more often if you are higher risk). Look at it this way...you really can't see in there, so if there's something wrong (like cancer or other problems) you won't know it until it's gotten pretty far. When you end up with a hysterectomy instead of a smaller procedure, you might wish you had gone a little earlier. However, how much risk you want to take is up to you. I personally think a hysterectomy is a high price to pay for not going to an exam every so often.
I think gyne appts. are particularly important because as I said, you can't see in there. If you have a tumor growing out of your forehead or if you have a lump somewhere that you can feel easily, you at least have a chance of catching it early on your own. Yes, the chances are low that a particular person will have a gynecological cancer, but the consequences are painful. That's why I go...and I am a VERY LOW RISK individual according to all the info out there...And believe me, I far from look forward to it, but it's one of those things you have to do...like brushing your teeth.
I appreciate your opinion, but I don't agree with you at all. I wasn't trying to change anyone's views on doctor's visits, I was just qualifying (or perhaps disqualifying ) my stated advice with a little background information.
About the weighing part, I never get weighed at the doctor's office. When they ask, I just say no. I've done that for years, and at many different doctors' offices. I knew I was fat. Nobody has ever said yes, you must get weighed. If there was a medically necessary reason (e.g., illness that caused me to lose or gain rapidly and it should be charted), I'd weigh. Remember that you can control what goes on at the appointment. I write everything down that I want to ask, by the way, and go down the list with the doctor.
I always choose female family practice doctors, who will also do a gyno exam. I haven't been to a gyno in years, and I'd never go to a male gyno because I've had bad experiences. I had a biopsy done and when I winced and cried out, the male gyno told me that it didn't hurt. Huh? Bet if they stuck something up his privates and took a snip, he'd say ouch, too! I dealt with it by never going back to that person. I also had a problem with a female cardiologist, and I dealt with that by walking out of the room and by filing a complaint with the clinic patient advocate. You're paying these people for a service--they need to act appropriately!
As SAPF so succinctly put it "If there is something really wrong with you, ignoring it isn't going to make it go away. There are a lot of diseases if left unchecked, can do some serious damage."
Please let us know what you do. We're here to support you all the way!
I mean well, and I don't think you're a bad person. We all have our concerns & crosses to bear, this is yours. It's ok.
As for the doctor, you have to find a chubby guy. I say that b/c every time I've seen a chubby doctor, they say the same thing, "Now I'm supposed to tell you to lose weight, but I can't very well say that with conviction." and pats his belly. 
I know I need to lose weight, what am I, stupid? I wash this body every day, I dress it, I moisturize it, I exercise it, I KNOW I need to lose. They are kind to me. The only person who is a bit harsh is my kidney doctor, but he has reason to be insistent. My BMI is a 41, and it needs to be 30 or below before I could be considered for a transplant. That means if I got into a car accident tomorrow (*knocks wood*) and my kidneys were damaged, I would have to wait for a healthy kidney in line behind people who did have healthy BMI's. Also the rate of death after transplant DOUBLES if you are obese @ the time of transplant. I don't want to deal with that, either. Granted, I am 10-20 years away from transplant. But still. I want to do all I can. 
) my stated advice with a little background information.
