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Old 10-04-2006, 11:16 AM   #1
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Default Losing Weight and keeping it off...

I was watching a TV program here in the UK yesterday. It was one of those 'we'll change your life in 3 months' sort of things where they put someone on a diet and WOWSA they lose weight!

The woman on it had put on 3 stone in a year (42 pounds) and this is what got me about it ...they never asked her why. Seems to me 3 stone in a year has a serious reason!

So here's my question to you all. Do you think it is possible to lose weight AND keep it off without sorting your head out first? Carrying on from that is it actually possible to get really heavy without having some sort of 'head' issues? Can you get 250+, for example, through just greed?

I'm asking that because I know I was very depressed when I piled my weight on. I'm just not that hungry when I'm not but that may not be true for everyone. What do you think?

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Old 10-04-2006, 12:08 PM   #2
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Hey Coley,
I agree with you and don't think you get to weights we've acheived out of hunger or too much snacking. I know I have dealt with my emtions over the years through binging and using food as a drug. Then the behaviors become habits and so on... I really believe that food is a drug and certain foods I've abused over the years offered some short term relief (like sweets and carbs). I think the general public is really limited in understanding weight struggles with any comprehensive approach.
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:28 PM   #3
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I think the emotional/psychological aspects of overeating are greatly underestimated by most people and a big contributor to why many people don't succeed with weight loss. If we use food to help us deal with our emotions and then we take away that coping mechanism - guess what? The emotions are still there and need to be dealt with. If we don't find another way to deal, we'll revert back to what worked in the past = overeating. This is my opinion, of course.

I'm a great believer in therapy to help sort these things out, but books and support groups are helpful, too (oh, and websites, too!).

I, personally, did not get to 250+ by "just" overeating. I had issues and I'm dealing with them. However, unlike many people, when I get seriously depressed, I stop eating almost altogether. Quite a miserable way to lose weight. Not recommended.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
Eleanor Roosevelt

"If it's a good day, enjoy it. If it's a bad day, learn from it."
A good friend
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:59 PM   #4
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I don't think your question can be answered any better than Dr. Anderson answered it. I read this about a year ago and it really struck a cord with me.

I wish you all the best!


Doomed To Be Fat Forever?
By Dr. Matthew Anderson

Today I want to confront a major fear of many weight-challenged individuals:

"Will I be fat forever?" Many of us who constantly repeat the lose-gain cycle have a fear that we seldom share with others. We are terrified that we may never be able to lose our excess weight and will have to live the rest of our lives fat and full of body-hate and self loathing. If you are one of those people, this article is just for you. Take a chance and read on. I will talk tough but I promise not to leave you without hope.

It is a fact that long-term weight loss is very difficult. Most of us are not good at it and we have quite a bit of experience with failure to sustain our losses. Feeling hopeless and cynical about the whole process is not uncommon. But we hate being fat so we pull ourselves together, suppress the hopelessness and try the next diet, exercise, tablet, bracelet or program in hopes that a miracle will occur and we will find the holy grail of thin before we die.

I donít have a miracle for you but I have something almost as effective: the truth. I donít mean theological truth as if God has spoken to you. I mean commonsense, practical truth that has substance and is based in reality and experience. If you take it to heart and apply it daily, you will very probably lose weight. It (this truth) has worked for me and for many of my clients. It can work for you too. Here it is.

The "I donít want to be fat forever" truths.

1. If you stubbornly demand and expect that weight loss and life should be easy, you will consistently fail at weight loss. Why? Life and weight loss are often not easy and there is nothing you can do to change that fact. Long-term weight loss is not for children or sissies. I wish it was but it is not. Get over it and get on with it.

2. If you allow fear to dictate your life choices you will feel unable to cope with life and you will eat to feel better. Then you will get fatter. You must find a way to create courage instead of honoring your fears.

3. If you insist in staying in denial about the real reasons you are overweight, you will stay fat. For example, do you honestly believe you are overweight because you "love food?" If you accept this kind of idea as a legitimate reason, you can expect fat to be your constant companion.

4. If you insist in doing it yourself (weight loss) you can expect failure. We all need support and lots of it. The rule is this: More weight requires more support. Simple and very true.

5. If you think you can be the exception to the rule and lose significant weight without significant inner work and inner healing, you will stay fat. Simple rule: More weight requires more inner work.

6. If you refuse to learn advanced life skills, you will stay fat. We overeat when we feel overwhelmed by life. Increase your life skills and you will eat less. That is the truth. What do I mean by advanced life skills? Here are some examples.
  1. Learn to take responsibility for your life situation and problems instead of blaming others.
  2. Become an expert on you and your inner self instead of being an expert on what is wrong with others.
  3. Learn to seek and receive appropriate support from others instead of isolating and going it alone.
  4. Learn healthy and creative self-expression instead of hiding and suppressing your gifts.
  5. Develop effective communication skills for work and relationships.
  6. Develop your own personal spiritual values and apply them to all areas of your life.
  7. Learn to forgive others and also yourself.
  8. Learn to receive at least as well as you give.
Charles - Houston, TX

"The future is not some place we are going, but one we create. The paths are not found, but made, and the activity of making them changes both the maker and the destination."
John Schaar

Link is to an interview about my weight loss experience.
http://askcharles.mymethodistblog.com/ My Weght Loss blog

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Old 10-04-2006, 02:54 PM   #5
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As always Charles, a great great post!
Long Term Goal

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Old 10-04-2006, 03:01 PM   #6
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I cut your post out last time you posted it and I hung it on my refrigerator - I stop by to read it often and there is so much truth in it.

It keeps me going many time and it will always hang there.

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Old 10-04-2006, 05:22 PM   #7
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What great posts. Charles, that article was really helpful.
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Old 10-05-2006, 10:28 AM   #8
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For me, it was both a combination of just growing up that way (with an abnormal relationship to food), which then caused me those issues that I'm now having to work through. Giant portions and what I wanted whenever I wanted it was just the standard in my childhood. I don't really know what a healthy relationship to food would be like! How do people eat well and simply maintain a healthy bodyweight without measuring and journalling food? The concept is mind-boggling!

That said, it's no coincidence that I was a fat kid and it's only now that I'm 18 years old that I'm able to lose the weight (and keep it off) successfully. There's a process of mental maturation that's necessary before one can be successful. I think it's getting over that 'immediate reward' thing... kids don't do well with the concept of delayed gratification.
10lbs at a time!

Last edited by Kashi; 10-05-2006 at 09:02 PM.
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Old 10-05-2006, 12:43 PM   #9
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I like reading what everyone's written so far..

I do agree with the statement that the general public doesn't seem to have a great understanding of weight issues.

People gain for different reasons.. though I imagine some of them are common. For myself, it has been an emotional ride. And the work I am doing now physically to lose weight is accompanied by emotional learning and work I have been doing for a long time now.. I had to get to a point at which I could say, "I want to lose weight not because I want to be validated externally but for internal reasons"

great post!

Mini-goal 1: Reach 257lbs
Mini-goal 2: Reach 222lbs
Mini-goal 3: Reach 209lbs
Mini-goal 4: Reach 199!
Mini-goal 5: Reach 179 lbs (overweight BMI category!!)
Mini-goal 6: Reach 160lbs
Final goal: Reach 145lbs

Mini exercise goal 1: Begin running September 2012
Mini exercise goal 2: Celebrate graduation with a 5K
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Old 10-05-2006, 02:03 PM   #10
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Well I got to 272 due mostly to the side effects of major depression.

And, I wasn't able to start losing weight until that battle had been conquered for almost 2 years.

So yeah, my head really did need a lot of sorting out.

I had to get back control of my life before I could get control over my eating.
Lost: 140ish lbs
Maintainence: 2 years

My "Happy" Weight:

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Old 10-06-2006, 03:45 AM   #11
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Really interesting responses here. It is interesting though that the media points at larger portions or fast food as the causes of obesity. I mean they may well be the means but are they the cause?

The USA has a reputation, over here in the UK, of serving huge portions and that is another thing pointed at. Is that true? I've never been there so don't know.

I suppose my concern really is that you can diet and lose weight but for the keeping it off you really need to figure out why it went on in the first place. I was speculating whether it was actually possible to change your habits without changing your mind..behavour modification. I suppose that's what hypnotism attempts to do - make you revolted by the food you were attracted to without sorting out why you have such a hunger.

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Old 10-06-2006, 07:21 AM   #12
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I will say that I'm not sure what all my issues are, I have come to recognize this journey is AS MUCH a mental one as a physical one.

Coley, I think you make a great point about large portions and availability as a means, but maybe not the CAUSE.

However, all that being said, I think there are a number of reasons I got fat, ranging from laziness, to mindless eating, to using food for comfort at times. Once I was fat, there was a lot of complacency and a lack of motivation to really really try. I think there are some fears lurking about as well. But I haven't yet found that I have uncovered some great root cause of my fatness. Rather, I have some fears and pressures to eat for comfort and perhaps am finally able to move forward in spite of the fears. So I'm not sure I've really had a lot of "inner healing" -- though I sure feel like I confront the "mental" side of this frequently.

Not sure if the distinction I'm trying to make is clear... then again, I'm not sure it's clear for me!

My 5 C's of healthy living: Commitment to conscious control, with the understanding that choices have consequences
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