I don't think your question can be answered any better than Dr. Anderson answered it. I read this about a year ago and it really struck a cord with me.
I wish you all the best!
Doomed To Be Fat Forever?
By Dr. Matthew Anderson
Today I want to confront a major fear of many weight-challenged individuals:
"Will I be fat forever?" Many of us who constantly repeat the lose-gain cycle have a fear that we seldom share with others. We are terrified that we may never be able to lose our excess weight and will have to live the rest of our lives fat and full of body-hate and self loathing. If you are one of those people, this article is just for you. Take a chance and read on. I will talk tough but I promise not to leave you without hope.
It is a fact that long-term weight loss is very difficult. Most of us are not good at it and we have quite a bit of experience with failure to sustain our losses. Feeling hopeless and cynical about the whole process is not uncommon. But we hate being fat so we pull ourselves together, suppress the hopelessness and try the next diet, exercise, tablet, bracelet or program in hopes that a miracle will occur and we will find the holy grail of thin before we die.
I donít have a miracle for you but I have something almost as effective: the truth. I donít mean theological truth as if God has spoken to you. I mean commonsense, practical truth that has substance and is based in reality and experience. If you take it to heart and apply it daily, you will very probably lose weight. It (this truth) has worked for me and for many of my clients. It can work for you too. Here it is.
The "I donít want to be fat forever" truths.
1. If you stubbornly demand and expect that weight loss and life should be easy, you will consistently fail at weight loss. Why? Life and weight loss are often not easy and there is nothing you can do to change that fact. Long-term weight loss is not for children or sissies. I wish it was but it is not. Get over it and get on with it.
2. If you allow fear to dictate your life choices you will feel unable to cope with life and you will eat to feel better. Then you will get fatter. You must find a way to create courage instead of honoring your fears.
3. If you insist in staying in denial about the real reasons you are overweight, you will stay fat. For example, do you honestly believe you are overweight because you "love food?" If you accept this kind of idea as a legitimate reason, you can expect fat to be your constant companion.
4. If you insist in doing it yourself (weight loss) you can expect failure. We all need support and lots of it. The rule is this: More weight requires more support. Simple and very true.
5. If you think you can be the exception to the rule and lose significant weight without significant inner work and inner healing, you will stay fat. Simple rule: More weight requires more inner work.
6. If you refuse to learn advanced life skills, you will stay fat. We overeat when we feel overwhelmed by life. Increase your life skills and you will eat less. That is the truth. What do I mean by advanced life skills? Here are some examples.
- Learn to take responsibility for your life situation and problems instead of blaming others.
- Become an expert on you and your inner self instead of being an expert on what is wrong with others.
- Learn to seek and receive appropriate support from others instead of isolating and going it alone.
- Learn healthy and creative self-expression instead of hiding and suppressing your gifts.
- Develop effective communication skills for work and relationships.
- Develop your own personal spiritual values and apply them to all areas of your life.
- Learn to forgive others and also yourself.
- Learn to receive at least as well as you give.